Fear and Suspicion. Something I’ve been thinking about lately.
Fear and Suspicion. They make you crazy. Make you see things that may not be there. They kind of remove you from the reality that everyone else sees.
Fear and Suspicion. It’s the motive of spies. It’s how they go about doing their work. They find out secrets because they fear and suspect everything. In concert, they can work up some pretty good conspiracy theories. Fear and suspicion is their job.
Fear and Suspicion. Is this the motive to go to war? Should it not be reserved, resolved, and conclusive? I’m guilty as the next person of being fearful and suspicious and wanting to not be, but is it right for me to decide to kill people of another land because I fear them and suspect them? Shouldn’t it be that I’m reserved in what I’m about to do, but do it with absolute resolution to rid the threat of the conclusive evidence I have?
Fear and Suspicion. They continue to undermine the U.S.’s efforts. First because we went into Iraq only with Fear and Suspicion and not conclusive evidence. I think we’ve been reserved and resolved, but the lack of conclusive evidence has undermined our position in doing the right thing and is eroding the will of the people both foreign and domestic.
Fear and Suspicion. Maybe Saddam and his power-base won just by feeding us all the seeds of fear and suspicion and no one being able to tell the lie for what it is. And because we acted on it, right of wrong, we’re suffering for it because Saddam is the first man to deny credibility for the U.S. before the whole world.
Yup. It’s me. The Anonymous Coward uncloaked. Not as fearsome as Gandalf I dare say. And worse yet, I’m even more uninteresting — I’m just Another Coward.
Back in the days when I was a pledge/associate in my fraternity, I interviewed a brother who asked me one question: who are you? It lasted several hours. I find that funny because while I like to talk, I don’t ever think there’s that much interesting about me.
So, for those of you who have missed it, my name is Spencer. I grew up around Marietta, Georgia which is in the county of Cobb. My last name is Chastain, and there’s a few notable Chastain landmarks around. Yes, I’m a part of that Chastain family. I have no money as a result of it and am not some kind of prince of town. I’m more like a duke: people recognize the name, but all I have is what I’ve got myself.
I’m married. I married my wife, Lisa, three and a half years ago. Lisa is everything I need in a wife and most of the things I want in a best-friend. (I have a hard time believing someone can be everything for someone else – but, Lisa is giving that a good run for its money) We have a beautiful and amazing son, Josh, who is almost two and a half. He makes fatherhood everything I hoped it would be and more. I rejoice in the mystery and blessings that my coming child holds. God willing, we’ll be bringing that new child into the world next month. Everything seems right on the mark so far, but I get a little anxious at the end of a pregnancy. I’m already dreaming of delivery… I feel good. A little nervous. And the doctor places my new baby in my arms. Right now, it’s 3 dreams for a girl and 2 dreams for a boy.
I know the Hollandses. I went to school with them. Jeff and I are fraternity brothers and use to carpool to IBM. We laughed a TON when we carpooled. Jeff is a good person to carpool with — well, as long as there aren’t gas cans in the car. Adriene is cool, but I did not get to know her all that well during school. Most of all that started happening after I married my wife. Adriene and Lisa seem to mix very well. Jeff and Adriene together are fun people. Some people say they can be grumpy. I call it character, and I consider it good character. And I’m glad only they have their character 
I’m a software engineer by trade. Currently I work supporting air combat simulation with Lockheed Martin. I’m not exactly sure what my future has in store for me, but I think things will be changing “soon”. But, when I get that figured out, I’ll let you know.
I marvel at creation. I stand in awe of all that lies before my eyes. I stand among it with a sense of shepherding purpose, though I’ve not quite come to figure out what that means. I am disheartened when I see good land ruined for men’s ambition, and yet, I understand, too. There are few things more beautiful to me than the whole of creation. When Bilbo wishes to see mountains, I know exactly what he means. There is no place more peaceful nor more evident of God’s powerful goodness and beauty than the mountains.
That’s it for now. I hope that didn’t bore you too much. Like I said, not a whole lot interesting. But, we’re not all movie stars and politicians. I suppose I have some drama in my life, but I’d rather it were not drama nor the norm. There is a rumor that some people get to live out good, simple lives of peace and quiet. I’d count myself lucky if I were one of them.
(Brief aside: I hope to remove the stupid bear in the upper-left corner. I like the theme because of its color scheme and layout. But the stupid bear has got to go.)