Coming Clean

It seems to me that there’s a lot of confusion amongst people - Protestant and Catholic - about what the two are. That’s understandable - they are a bit muddled. This is because the theology Total Depravity builds on top of the theology of Original Sin.

The theology of Original Sin says simply one thing: Adam’s sin has removed mankind from the grace of God’s presence - from communion with God. The theology of Total Depravity says two things more: Adam’s sin has perverted mankind and destroyed mankind’s freedom. The theology of Original Sin can lead you towards a theology similar to Total Depravity, but it won’t lead you all the way there. At some point, you have to take the theology of Total Depravity on faith.

So, instead of doing all of this now, I intend to develop the differing theologies over a few posts. Hopefully this will help clarify some of the language I see folks using in talking about their theologies/faith as well as further educate myself on these particulars of faith and my abilities to communicate them.

Retreat … right … eh … more problems than answers/solutions. A few insights into my character that I already knew, but that I hadn’t quite seen as a problem before.

Need to work on contemplative/silent prayer.

Going forward with some changes I’ve been thinking about. Want to talk with a few more people before I feel comfortable talking about it in the open.

Not that I’m a regular blogger by any means … but I’m off on my retreat … of silence … if you know me, this will be something of a challenge. Hopefully, this is well intended, will be well received and blessed.

I’m 30 minutes late today. Josh is up on time, though … Lisa will have to make up time for her shower later (as usual … oh well). Last night, someone rung the door bell at about 1:00. It had me paranoid and restless the remainder of the night.

>:(

No, seriously. I really should be in bed. A few weeks ago, Lisa and I admitted to ourselves that we do not use our time wisely. To that end, we put together a general routine schedule. During the first week, I did pretty good - I think Lisa thought she did alright. During the second week, it bombed. So before last week, we readjusted the schedule, and we did alright. This week, we’re bombing pretty solid; however, we’re trying to resolve to make the rest of this week solid (and right now, I should be in bed … something isn’t right about this) So, anyways, for those that can keep tabs on me (as in you most likely can see me snooping on the web), here’s our schedule.

Remember, at 10:30, I should be in bed.

6:00 – Up and Shower
6:45 – Prayer
7:00 – Children Up / Breakfast / Children Dressed / Spencer Leave for Work

8:00 – Sesame Street
9:00 – T.V. Off / Morning Play / Rainy-Day Activity
10:00 – Inside Play
11:00 – Lunch Time
12:00 – Noon Walk/ Rainy-Day Activity #2
1:00 – Story Time & Nap Time
Mom – 1st hour: chores, phone calls, etc.
2nd hour: mom time – sewing, reading, scrapbook,
prayer
3:00 – snack time
3:30 – outside play
4:00 – inside play/ dinner prep
5:00 – dinner time / no computers
6:00 – clean up (dishes/toys)
6:30 – family activity
7:00 – bath time
7:30 – family quiet time
8:00 – bedtime for children / computer use back
8:30 – Adult time
10:00 – adult prayer bedtime
10:30 – Lights out

Good night.

This a bleg.

Pray for my family and for me. Especially as the week draws to a close.

As I mentioned before, I’ve been living with a sense that life isn’t quite right. To further give myself time for prayer and discernment on the matter, I signed myself up for a silent retreat.

Specifically, if you have the time, I would appreciate prayers for the following:

• that I leave my household this weekend in as much good order as I can, to minimize stress on my wife and children during my absence.
• patience and peace in my household during my absence. With an almost-three year old in the house, this prayer is pretty much welcomed anytime, anyways.
• that I am prepared mentally and spiritually for this weekend. I know I’m pretty much not, and that’s probably as prepared as I’m going to get … but maybe a few nuggets of wisdom might fall across my path to give me other points of meditation for the week.
• that my time is fruitful. That whatever it is I’m seeking and/or is my calling, I find or, at the least, come closer to it. Furthermore, I’m seeking to discern two things: changing jobs and another matter that in many ways could be life changing for everyone around me and close to me. Namely, I want to be certain that my selfishness and pride are in check, that I’m acting wisely, that I’m not letting fear hamper me, and that I am above all being a faithful follower.
• lastly, and above all, that my wife and I are communicating openly and freely. we both believe we are, but fear, uncertainty, and doubt are sneaky enemies. they creep in and lay down their claws all the while telling you it is nothing until you realize they mean very much to you. I enjoy a great openness with my wife, one I offer many praises for, and I hope and pray that it continues.

Thank you, and God bless.

As surprising as it may be, this story is NOT about potty training my son. This story is a story about me. A story about me to make up for my lack of a nose stuffing story.

This particular story happens when I’m somewhere between the age of two and three. I can’t remember if my brother was born yet, which means it’s more likely that I was two.

I remember it very clearly, that day of near death. It was the culmination of many hard weeks of training and preparation, and that particular day, I had decided, was to be the day things changed. I felt the urge come: it was time to either fill the drawers or make haste for the potty to prove my boyish worth. Being the big boy I was (and never ceased to be), I rushed to the bathroom. No, I did not slam the door but closed it like any big person would do. And then… I locked the door. This was going to be a one-boy show, for sure.

I dropped my pants and climbed onto the pot to do my business. Everything was going good: no constipation or heavy pushing; tee-tee staying inside the bowl; and, luckily, plenty of paper on the roll. (These are universal concerns, of course … my son paying careful attention to these details in his own training even now)

It was the haste to go for the roll of paper that did it, though. As I shifted my weight to get off the pot for the paper needed in clean-up ops, I felt vital friction rapidly disappearing. Before I could do anything to rectify the situation, I had doubled over and fallen into the toilet, knees and shoulders together in an unnatural and uncomfortable meeting.

This turn of events was unexpected and unplanned but, worse yet, found me unprepared. I tried to push myself up, but I was too far inside the toilet to be able to get a grip for lifting my weight. Twisting and turning wasn’t working either. Despair was starting to overcome me.

But then there was another change. A cool, slimey, unpleasant change. A change that I knew meant nothing other than the witch that lived inside the toilet emerging for her dinner. Momma had told me about her - the witch was why I was nervous being near the toilet when it flushed. But this time, the witch knew something was awry. She had come to investigate the scene, and I was going to be her surprise dinner.

Despair had me in its grips, and fear had me in its thrall. My legs, with knees just inside the toilet seat, began kicking wildly, and I began to cry and scream in fear! The toilet began trying to suck me down with its toilet-ish *thwhomp!! thwhomp!!* sounds!! …and in the distance, somewhere but not close enough, I could hear my parents yelling for me.

…and then firm hands had me and placed me on my feet…

I opened my eyes to find my dad having set me down, and my mother looking on in fright. They asked me if I was alright, and I said I had heard the witch trying to suck me down the toilet. Dad said that was him nearly beating the door off its hinges to get inside the room (which makes sense being as that particular door was of thin ply-wood construction), but it would be a while before I would believe him and not feel nervous being around a toilet alone.

Since that time, I have learn to overcome my fear of being on the toilet. Indeed, I find that it is one of my few and fleeting fortress of solitudes … the smellier one, at that. But for a time, I can remember being happy going in my pants if a parent was not in the bathroom with me.

bit of a sporadic piece that’s been in my mind for a few weeks… not precisely ironed out, could probably use some more thought and work particularly at the end… comments appreciated

My boss expressed this sentiment in discussing his flavor of Christianity… skirting the topic of sticking with a denomination because that’s “religion”. He and his family go where ever the Bible is preached (and I hear a *thump,thump* in my mind). Religion … is to be avoided.

I tried to go into that idea a little bit with him, but it was clear it would go nowhere fast… so I let it die. Religion is something we mortal, fallen men do - end of story.

But the whole idea of the sentiment, particularly within the scope of Christianity, is ridiculous. Yes, religion is an endeavor of men, but the whole idea behind Christianity (and Judaism and Islam) is that it is ordained by God. It’s everything else that more or less says “do whatever brings you closer to God so long as you practice within these boundaries”.

It was Christ that certainly instituted Christian baptism. It was Christ that instituted Holy Communion. It was Christ that ushered in Confirmation and Holy Orders (more or less with the advent of the Holy Spirit and at Pentecost). It was Christ that instituted Reconcilliation and Healing - as that was pretty much His whole ministry and the same ministry that He left for the Church to carry on. It was Christ that instituted a communing body of believers. I think Marriage is the only Sacrament that Christ did not formally create for the Church. …but Marriage was instituted by God from the get go in our very flesh.

Yet this idea remains within many people that “religion” is a bad thing. Sure, there is such a thing as bad religion, but bad religion does not make all religion bad. Catholicism has had its fair share of darker moments, but that does not negate nor dim nor invalidate all the wonderful, awesome, holy and Christ-ian things it has done, is doing, and will continue to do. Yet because of bad religion, people react wrongly - namely to do away with that bad religion instead of healing that bad religion.

That’s why today you’ve got Christians who don’t baptize. You’ve got Christians who think Holy Communion really isn’t all that Holy or special or necessary in a Christian’s life. You’ve got Christians who think divorce is always an (and most likely is the) option. You’ve got Christians who fear any kind of gift of the Spirit - healing among them. You’ve got Christians who think organized, corporate communion and worship really isn’t something you are called to do.

My Religion is certainly man made, but it was not made by any ordinary man. It was made by the God-Man, and it was brought to me by men after His own heart. So I look to all of them - Christ and the Saints - to point me in the right direction for my life. You know what they say? They all say “this is the way, the truth, and the life.” If you divorce the idea of grace from Religion then that statement seems rather blasphemous - but in Catholicism, it all flows from Christ and it all flows as one. So, indeed!! Religion is a Man-made endeavor… it’s what’s bringing me closer to heaven here and now.