Missing the Bigger Something
In highschool I played in the marching and symphonic bands. I had a pretty good time, I learned a lot, and I thought after moving on into college that it would just fade into a memory. What I didn’t expect was the recurring dreams.
I’m always in my seat. I’m always watching my director. And it’s just … perfect. I’m happy; everyone is trying to pull together; and what we do is beautiful and powerful.
The dream isn’t always exactly the same … but that since of perfection, overcoming odds (we played always a bit beyond our reach, and generally did it well), and happiness is always there.
And I’ve never had anything that has captured that same … community … since. And that is why I think I have had the recurring dreams since that time. And I think it is a large part of why I’m so damn depressed.
What we did there was perfect ourselves against odds for each other and the beauty of it all … a small image of what we should be doing in our spiritual lives.
I’ve just not had anything so well defined and so … intent in common, good purpose since then. And I think I would. In fact, I think that’s what is missing … or maybe it’s what I need to get over. It’d be sad though if the latter were true.