When I Have Time To Myself
I do one of two things:
- try to be as mindless as possible
- try to be as engaged in thought as possible
Being mindless is easy – turn on the TV.
Being engaged is easy – find a puzzle: a game, a thought problem, a book.
Thing is, when I have time to myself, I seldom think to pray. I doubt this phenomenon is rare. Often, I try to pass off reflection of the theological/Biblical variety as prayer. While interesting and often educational/insightful, I don’t think it really counts as prayer.
So, then, I’m left wondering what is prayer, and how I can I know it to be worthwhile. So many times, people tell you it’s suppose be you and God time. God’s been really quiet these days – leaving me to wander back to the reflection stuff more than giving me the sense of some kind of communing. Very frustrating. But in absence of the perception of the presence of the Person, what am I to do? It all seems very backwards and counter-intuitive for what it is suppose to be about.