My Boss and I Don’t Get Along
I was in a meeting with my project manager yesterday. We don’t get along very well. We’ve become use to each other over the years, but there’s always some residual hostility in the form of not really willing to totally trust the other. He thinks I’m out to get him; whereas, I’m just out to do the right thing and am contentious when he needlessly gets in the way.
So, there we were in the meeting, discussing personnel issues for the next 6 - 9 months. We’re walking through employees, one by one, discussing strengths, weaknesses, best fits, etc. We get to one particular guy, and it turns out we have two wildly different opinions. I view the guy as bright, assertive, and straight-forward. My PM views him as quiet and demurring.
My parting thought on our different views was: “Well, it’s probably because he sees you as an authority.”
PM: “Yes, that’s probably true … and you don’t.”
Pegged. I guess it’s good he finally sees it - or at least acknowledges it. I have a twinge of guilt, but mostly I’m amused. It was good though, because the other day I was rehashing a history of his mistakes that I’m trying to plan to fix that he thinks un-needed. So, I view it as tit for tat.
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He thinks you want to replace him. You see this, right?
Comment by Geof F. Morris — 5/24/2008 @ 10:12 pm
Well, in a lot of ways, I have. He was the original architect / software lead, and I never thought he did a good job in that role. I didn’t have any bones about saying it then, and that re-hashing I mentioned was concerning a good deal of that past history.
But, in terms of his current role, hell no. And I’ve said as much. I’m actually fairly surprised by his performance in his new role, and happy to leave him there. I have said as much of this, too - to both him and my managers. But I do think it wounds his pride that I think he’s a lousy designer of software.
Comment by AnotherCoward — 5/25/2008 @ 2:35 pm
The key, then, is to build back your relationship by other matters, to give him your trust in other areas so that he might come to trust your strengths.
Comment by Geof F. Morris — 5/25/2008 @ 5:57 pm