Coming Clean

Revelation in Progess

A New Addition

For those that don’t know already, Lisa and I delivered our new baby, William Edward Chastain. He was born on February 13 at 12:02 PM. The following is the play-by-play.

Lisa and I went to bed late the night before, but Lisa woke up shortly thereafter agitated. At first, she could not figure out what it was, but she could not get comfortable to go back to sleep. She woke me up at 2:30 thinking she was in the early stages of labor. She hopped into a warm bath, and I ran water over her back and belly — typically, this will either stop contractions or bring them on.

At 3:30, we decide that labor is only progressing and not subsiding, so I round up all our bags for the hospital and throw together a bag for Josh.

Around 4:00, we call up my parents to come take Josh and call the doctor. The parents come grab Josh, the doctor calls us back and tells us to come in, and I finish loading up the car.

At 5:30 we are admitted to the hospital. At 6:00, Lisa’s parents show up (who we called just before we left the house). The nurses do a check on Lisa, and she is 6 cm dialated!!! (Big excitement for us because we’re trying to do this all natural — no drugs)

We are lead to our labor and delivery room, and Lisa hops into the jacuzzi tub (hot water helps speed up labor). At 7:00, Lisa is checked – 7 cm!!! Back into the tub; 8:00 rolls around; another check – 9 cm!!!

At this point, Lisa’s water still had not broken on its own. Our doctor recommended that he go ahead and break it. This should bring on the last phase of labor quickly, and we’d be delivering in 15 minutes. It sounded good by everything we read and knew, so we agreed.

8:15, Lisa’s feeling the first urge to push, we get the nurse to do a check – 7 cm. …7 cm? Yes, 7 cm. Breaking Lisa’s water had caused labor to regress instead of progress. With the water broken, we could not get back into the tub because of concern of infection. Without the warm water, Lisa felt the back labor she had been having more intensely. Everything that had been going our way was making a turn for the worse.

Lisa was a real trooper though. It would be real easy to toss in the towel at this point and call for drugs, but she did not. She labored through two more hours of back labor, fighting an ever increasing urge to push. And all the while, no progress was being made. After each check, we were becoming ever more emotionally defeated.

By 10:00, the pain and urge to push had become unbearable for Lisa. She got an epidural and was started on pitocin.

Shortly before noon, the nurse came to put a catheter in Lisa but stopped short because, well, the baby was crowning. I promptly ran out of the room to the waiting room to inform the doctor as I passed him in the hall and the grand-parents – all of which were present now – and ran back.

5 minutes after the surprise crowning, we were ready to push. Lisa pushed only once, the head was out, and the doctor told her to quit pushing. The baby’s nose and mouth were suctioned clean, and then Lisa was given permission to push again – William was officially in the world!!

He laid at 20″ long, with a 14″ head and a 14″ chest, weighing in at 9 lbs. 4 oz. He has a full head of black hair – much fuller and darker than his big brother had, who I thought had a lot of hair for a baby. He has nursed like a champ since being born – unlike his big brother who always had a bit of a hard time getting a good latch. He sleeps like a champ – unlike his big brother who was always wide eyed and trying to get up to see what’s going on.

So, William is already distinctly William and Not Josh. When we had Josh, I had no expectations. With William, I expected things like Josh but not Josh. It is just neat to see how different and how much his own person William already is. I was not prepared for it, but I like it a lot. The two boys, I think, will compliment each other very nicely.

Josh has taken to William pretty well, but I’m not certain that he has grasped that William is here to stay. He kisses him which is good, and he doesn’t cry that Mommy has William just about all the time – which is VERY good. We’ll see how well this adjustment continues. I think things will become very fun in about 6 months time if not before. I’m looking forward to it.

And, by the way, here is his hospital picture:

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Honey, You’re Pregnant

I’m kind of unlike a lot of men in that I have wanted to be a father since middle school. No kidding. Even with the tough relationship I had with my father, I wanted to be a dad, too. There is a certain romance to the idea for me, and I LOVE babies and children.

When the reality of marriage finally set in, I told my wife that when I could say, “In 9 months we could have a baby, and I’m okay with that”, then I’d throw NFP out the window. I said it to myself a lot and gave myself the heebee jeebees.

On the third month, Lisa’s period came late by like two days. Those were the longest two days ever. And though I was stressed, when the period finally came, I found I was really (and I mean [i]really[/i]) disappointed.

So by the fourth month, I was really cool with it. I had come to grips with it, and I became official slacker man with NFP. This really stressed Lisa out. And then we were late again. And then we were both really disappointed.

So the 5th month rolls around… we’ve got like weddings and christmas parties and all kinds of junk to run around to, and I deliberately roll the dice – (1) ’cause I was cool with the idea with having kids and (2) I was tired of the charts.

2 weeks later, I told Lisa she was pregnant. She didn’t believe me. We waited an extra week (when her period should have been finished by my reckoning) and picked up a test. She peed on it, and we waited like 15 minutes for the thing to change. Then we realized we had the stick upside down. POSITIVE! This is the moment when your heart leaps up into your throat. We waited another day, did a second stick to make sure. This time the stick changed right away (because we knew which side was up).

But, yes, Lisa had no idea she was pregnant until I told her. The look of surprise was hilarious.

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Lonely Happiness

There is a stillness in me today.

I attended a funeral, and many people there were those who believe in and follow after Jesus Christ. Yet they were all moved to grief over the loss of a life: an old life, a noble life, a life that had lived its full and fill. I always find it odd that there should not be more joy at a funeral.

My mother mourned the passing of a generation: now only her father and father’s sister remain from that part of the family, and they have been fading in mind for some time. She is saddened that those she looked to are now gone. No longer to share stories. No longer to comfort. No longer to share wisdom. No longer the living “root” of where she has come from.

I am happy for my Great-Aunt because I believe she has gone on to be with Jesus. I look forward to seeing if I am right. But I did not know her like these grieving people I stood among. For them, a part of who they are is gone now, and it is painful to them because they still reach to that part but find it missing. Though they know she is in heaven and are happy and rejoice in it, they are still lonely for that piece of their lives that was her.

I once attended a Catholic funeral a little over a year back. It’s the only one I’ve ever attended. It was… Haunting. And Beautiful. It stirred me in a way no other funeral has. The service ended with a sung prayer. It is in itself simple and evokes images of arriving on the other side of things. A prayer perhaps more for us who say it yet also intercessory, though perhaps too late, in hopes that it may be true. These are the words:


May the angels lead you into paradise;
may the martyrs come to welcome you,
and take you to the Holy City,
the new and eternal Jesusalem.

May the choirs of angels welcome you
and lead you to Abraham’s Side;
where Lazarus is poor no longer
may you find eternal rest. Amen.

I hope you’ve made it home Aunt Mary. Be at Peace.

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