The question of “How did you know they were the one?” was asked (not by me) a few times to my friends Amy and Brian this week. Brian answered the question with “You just know.” Now, Ive heard this answer before and of course as a single person I don’t just “know” I need something to go on. Shaken heads went to Brian for his answer then they turned to Amy for her response. She said the same thing. We knew Amy is more in tune with the answer girls are looking for, so we pushed a little bit. “Well whats so wonderful about Brian that you want to spend the rest of your life with him?” She thought for a second and then said “When I was mad at him and thought the worst of him, I still didn’t want to be without him. That’s what is so wonderful about him.” Interesting thought. There’s a quote (conflicting authors… ether Rich Mullins or someone in Rich Mullin’s family) that says “Don’t marry someone you can live with, marry someone you cant live without.” I think thats a great quote and seems among my married friends (they are growing more and more the older I get) that was something they thought about before saying their “I do”s. You deny yourself of anyone else for the rest of your life, but this person.

My friend Tara Leigh wrote a journal entry along these lines the other day. She said “My mentor says that a relationship with a God-fearing person serves to expose your own ugliness… like they’re holding a mirror up to you, saying, “This is what you’re REALLY like.” It reveals the hidden flaws and motives that you may have never even known about yourself. And it can make you really uncomfortable when those truths are revealed (kind of like when you hear a recording of what your voice actually sounds like). But hopefully, those truths will serve as the catalyst that moves us further down that path of righteousness.” Now thats a whole different picture isn’t it? Its fits somewhat in what Amy said, even though you are mad at that person, you don’t want to live without them. Even though they are showing you their faults, despite them, you want to be with them. At a bible study I went to on Tue. night they asked for prayer requests and a man said he didn’t know what to pray for about himself. His wife leaned over and said “I could give ya a list.” Its true it seems in marriages that the spouse is very aware of the others faults. There’s a nice pop in the lovely-dovely–live-happy-ever-after bubble so many girls believe (I was guilty of it once myself). But you know what, I couldn’t think of a better way to live my life with someone. Yes, of course I want to be told I’m loved and have this person support me and all the wonderful things that come with being married, but thats only part of it. I want to be with someone who I love and respect so much that I can take them holding up that mirror and showing me how ugly (sinful) I am.

When I’m in the low points in my walk with the Lord, thats when I feel my need for Him the most. Thats when I can usually hear Him the loudest. Hardest times, He’s there, holding me so close, even if I cant feel it sometimes. So, to have someone someday commit to help remind me the depth of my sins, so I may run into His arms and be showered in His grace in the forgiveness of my sins…thats what I want. Now, I’m not saying I cant have my faults shown to me as a single person. I know they can, just get a room mate. Not saying Carla sat and told me how awful I am, but I learn a lot about myself through my room mates over the years. I know I that (selfishly) want to hear people tell me how great I am, but thats not the truth. I am not great, what Christ does through me is great. My need for a Savior, daily, is great. Is there a better way to know this than to tell each other the truth? I don’t think there is. I don’t think I’m going to fully understand all of this till I’m on the other side in marriage. Someday that day will come, in the Lord’s timing. It just reminds me of what is to come, which is exciting.