Hes Just Not That Into You
I walked in the door the other day from work and my mom said to me “You have to watch today’s Oprah with me. Its about dating.” I give her a funny look and told her “I think I’m good on the dating advice.” She said it more of something she thought I would find interesting. The guest on Oprah’s show was Greg Behrendt, one of the authors (other being, Liz Tuccillo , writer for Sex In the City) of the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.” The concepts that this book holds are basic, but it seems that the dating world, especially women, need to get back to basics. He has questions from women of all sorts. One example was a women who was told shed get a call from a guy during a weekend. When the call came on Monday, she got all excited and told Greg that he was wrong, that he was into her! Greg’s challenged her with that if he was really into her, he would of called during the weekend, not made her an after thought. Greg, being a late 30s to mid 40s nice looking man, told these women who clearly where in a “He’s Just Not That Into You” relationship that they could do better. What a timeless piece of advice. He told these girls that they are pretty, smart and deserve better. (Coming from a guy like him impacts more my mom and I concluded than say, Dr. Phil ) A guy wants a challenge, so give them one, Greg told viewers. He’s not a religious man, so the “christian dating” advice wasn’t anywhere to be scene. He even owned up that he’s no specialist, just some dude that thinks that dating doesn’t need to be so much work. Cut and dry. Deal with the real deal or get out. Between all the basic stuff he was sharing, one thing he said surprised me. “Don’t go out with a guy unless he asks you out first.” I always thought this to be a rule of thumb, but in this day in age of women who are independent can do anything men can do, its hard to come by. I’m not saying run out and get this book, I think its kinda funny myself. Like we need one more dating book on the shelves. Something he said though got me thinking that this cant be half bad. “Over time women have made men lazy. Women don’t act like they are good enough and lower their standards.” He even owned up to that he was a jerk in is past dating life. But when he met his wife, he did whatever he had to do to make sure he got to spend every day for the rest of his life with her. He raised his standards to hers. He was that into her. I just found it refreshing that the world is waking up a little (the book does assume that you sleep with one another, so of course there’s always more work to be done) in men and women’s roles. I think I’ll read this book maybe spending an afternoon in Barns and Noble (yeah yeah its not a library but I doubt my library has it) to see what other things they didn’t get to share on Oprah. As I write this my brother has a girl down stairs talking over coffee. Id say he’s into her. 
Disclaimer: I don’t know how to word this the way I want it too, but basically, I know this isn’t godly advice. I’m not trying indorse this book. I just found it interesting the principles that people are just blind to these days. Its more of a sociology thinking that perks my interest more than anything else.
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Some of us are thankful women lower their standards, because we know we’re not good enough. Thanks, honey!
Umm… pardon me if this sounds crass, but what is the difference between “godly advice” and “good advice”? If someone says, “Look both ways before crossing the street,” it may not be godly or biblical (I don’t remember reading about pedestrian safety in the good book), but it would be in a person’s best interest to follow it.
Hi Greg, thanks for reading…where’d you come from? I cant seem to figure out if I do or do not know you.
To answer your question… the only reason I had a disclaimer at all was because I don’t know all of the context of this book. In a way, I’m kinda endorsing its ideas, but only some of them because I only know some. I do know that the book talks about having sex before one is married, which is ungodly. By ungodly, I mean, in a nut shell, it disobeys what God has commanded in the bible, which I believe every word of. What’s the difference between godly and good advice…well, I believe good advice is godly advice. What answer are you looking for?
i really liked this entry, because its the TRUTH!
First off, I came from Carla Jean’s blog. So you have her to blame.
Secondly, the answer I’m looking for is the answer that you have (no wrong answer, in other words). I’m somewhat familiar with godly advice (I may not always follow it, but that’s for another comment thread), I’m just interested in reading why you see the need to make the distinction.
Greg, my personal distinction between good advice and Godly advice is as follows:
First of all, all Godly advice is good advice, but not all good advice is Godly advice. It may be “good” advice to say “use protection when having premarital sex”, but Godly advice would be “don’t have premarital sex”. Good advice rarely goes past the temporal, while Godly advice recognizes the impact of the eternal on the temporal.
Second, there was no claim by the author of the book that he was a Christian, as far as I understand. How could someone who doesn’t know God give Godly advice. He may give it by coincidence, or from his own sense of morality, but someone who is not seeking holiness cannot claim that their advice is Godly. This is true for Christians too. Being a Christian does not necessarily imply a search for what is Godly.
Finally, given the second point, telling someone to “carefully cross the street” is good advice. It is good because it utilizes wisdom. The bible says “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Wisdom is a gift from God so we may live our lives the way He intended. Someone might say that advising someone to risk their lives in a third world country for the cause of Christ would be Godly, but not “good”, from this world’s standpoint.
So there ya go.
this would be why Jace is the megaphone in this relationship.
Megaphone or not, I appreciate the honesty.
how do you know Carla?
Through her blog.
Hi.
I don’t remember exactly how I came to your blog … I think maybe through Michaela’s blog, which I maybe found through someone else’s blog, but there were so many great blogs in-between, that I don’t remember. (How do you people meet each other? I want real life friends like you!)
Anyway, I was captivated by this post … especially because of recent events in my life with silly guys. So I decided to go look for the book at my neighborhood Barnes and Noble. Couldn’t find it on the shelf, so I asked a girl who worked there. Before I even finished telling her the title, she smiled and told me they’re completely sold out, and the other store in the area is too. I guess the publisher didn’t think the book would sell well, so they actually have to PRINT more copies to meet the incredible demand they have been facing. So it’s on backorder at every store around. Hm, maybe that right there says something about the current state of the things in that strange world of men & women and their confusing interactions ….
Krista, thanks for reading… so funny to me that all these lerkers of readers are coming out. I dont really think Im that intersting, but thanks none the less. Did you try online stores? I havnt gone to look for it yet but thats crazy about it being sold out. That dang Oprah.
Oh, but you are SO interesting. I love reading your blog, and I am more than a little jealous of the fact that you get to go to Starbucks for “work.”
Well, I’m not sure I want to buy it just yet … I just wanted to look at it. But maybe I will look online. The way the girl made it sound last night, it sounds like basically they are totally out of print and the publisher is going to have to run a whole nother batch.
If you work at Starbucks, it loses a lot of its magic.
But I did go sit for hours drinking a toffee nut latte with a friend and it was much better when I did have to make it or feel like I should be working. Maybe its just my store. 
Yeah, I can see that. Sort of like editing books for lawyers has lost its magic … oh, wait — there never was any magic about it!
I hear ya though, I have said before that I don’t know if I would want to work at a coffee place because I worry that it might make me take for granted the wonder of the warm caffeinated beverage.
You aren’t in Carlsbad, are you? Because I thought I remember seeing Carlsbad mentioned once … and that would DEFINITELY make me jealous.
I must need a cup of coffee. What’s in the water in Texas anyway? Here’s another story about a women killing her husband…. and several other family members after she forged their wills and made herself their beneficiary. Ouch! If you haven’t read “No Greater Deception” by Sydney Dotson, do. I purchased mine on Barnes & Noble’s website, and missed not getting a cup of coffee.