I’m in a down mood right now. I thought a repeat episode of Gilmore Girls would cheer me up, but no go. So I’m going to reflect on a couple of highlights from my week in hopes it brings up my spirit.
I haven’t mentioned for some reason the bible study I am involved in on Monday nights. Its been going on for almost two months and Ive really enjoy it. We do a study based off of our pastor’s wife teaching of the book of Nehemiah. Growing in my knowledge of the word along and through these girls I just met not too long ago has been much richer than I expected. I believe this week was the night we really felt comfortable with each other, to me at least. I still don’t feel close enough to call them friends, still a girl in my bible study group, but one of them warmed my heart this past week like I thought only a friend could. Around new people I tend to be quite, but in small groups of people I tend to talk a lot. For some reason when there’s a pause in the conversation I feel Ive done something wrong so its my job at that point to fill it, with whatever. So I see myself somewhat as the girl in the group who you’d wish would just shut up. I know I’m over blowing it, but haven’t all of you been there? Okay if not, don’t tell me please. But normally what I tend to talk about are the books that I’m reading. I just finished Mudhouse Sabbath and was telling the girls how wonderful it was and one of them says to me “You are THE person to go to for books. You know so much about great books.” Suddenly I had nothing to say, I just smiled. It was one of the higher complement Ive ever gotten.
The second moment happened at our first mid-week for Jr. High this past Wednesday. We’ve been without a youth far too long in the Jr. High ministry and all of us on the leadership team are excited to finally have a night where all the kids are together. Not sprinkled through out services on Saturday night and Sunday morning (we went from 4 J-Hi services to two this up coming weekend). My roll on Wednesday nights are games. I’m more the behind the scenes, make it up, get supplies, tell the rules to Noah who then becomes the front man (I don’t like being in front of people). I had yays and nays for the game this week (we just didn’t have enough time apparently was the biggest problem) so I was worried I had failed in my role that night. As the kids split up to small groups one of the girls I love to pieces, Anne, comes running up to me and slaps her hands on my knees. I look up at her and she says “You HAVE to be in my group!” I wasn’t planning on going to a group (there are other leaders who lead the small groups) but I couldn’t say no to her. That’s all I had to hear to make me feel like I hadn’t failed that night. She wanted me there and that warmed my heart deeply.
Still kinda down, but that did cheer me up a little. I hate being in a slump and not being able to get out of it. I don’t think even Starbucks would really help me right now (okay its not THAT bad but, you know what I mean ).