(Most of this applies to morning rushes, but may apply other times as well.)
When there is a line out the door, you, the customer is annoyed. I understand this completely. You have to wait longer for that precious cup of coffee, really I do. We behind the counter are trying our hardest to get everyone rung up and drink right as quickly as possible. Once you have reached the counter, please do not stand there and then begin your pondering on what drink you will be having. You’ve had however long you stood in line to make up your mind. Unless your wondering the differences between mild and bold coffee, please get in back of the line. If you have an issue with how we have named our cup sizes, may I take this moment to remind you that you walked into Starbucks. I didn’t force you to come in here and order a tall which you believe is the biggest cup where as actually the venti is. Don’t spell the word small when I repeat back to you tall. I understand what you want, I only repeat back for clarifying I have corrected marked your drink. I’m here to assure your coffee experienceis a good one.
Now, if you are thinking that you don’t apply to the dilly dolly at the register wondering what would make your day brighter, a mocha or a white mocha, then congrats, you’ve moved onto the waiting for your drink part of the Starbucks experience. Now, I know what you want to do.You want to run right over to the “bar” or sometimes called “hand off counter”. Some of you are gonna want to reach your hands over that bar and get a sleeve or a straw. Please, this is my side and that is your side and we don’t need any crossing of the lines, that could get dirty. But whatever you do, please don’t take a step back and watch me making sure your drink is perfect. I’m sorry, who is the barista here? Don’t stare at me, it only makes me nervous which is more than likely gonna make me screw up your drink rather than hurry along with it. Also, for the love and all that is holy do not lean on the bar! Not only do I not like you watching me in this fashion, other customers can not get to their drink. We have some lovely tables for you to sit at, please do so and we shall call your drink shortly. Again, this is not the place for you is because that’s were I put other customer’s drinks. So, you are blocking them to get to their drink which starts to create a pile up on my bar which only confuses which drink is the actually drink I just called out. This does happen fairly often, a lot of drinks at the bar, and yeah they all are white so the confusion is again, understandable. But please do not grab one you may *think* is yours. We usually ask for your name, this is a clue to which drink is yours. We don’t expect you to understand all the letters and markings on the side of the cup but they really are quite simple. The little boxes are labeled, we mark according to those boxes. M is for mocha. L is for latte. So if you ordered a latte and the cup has a M on it, that is not yours. If you order a triple shot, there will be a 3 in the shot box. But again, your name is the key to your cup grabbing experience.
While you are here at Starbucks, I have a few requests for our lobby area. Our trash cans are all the same. One is in the condiment bar, and the others are big round black tins. They look all the same, so there’s no need for you confuse it with the small bucket which is labeled grounds for your garden. Thank you for your thoughtfulness on your dirty used cup for someone else garden, but they don’t really want plastic or paper for that matter in their soil. Also, I’m sorry if were busy and haven’t gotten to one of the trash cans to empty it for a while, but lining your cups around it when its already over floating isn’t real encouraging. There’s usually other trash cans about three steps away for your throwing away pleasure from that already full trash can. If your just a plain coffee drinker and need to add some cream, milk or sugar to spice it up a little we have this great condiment bar for you. Its full of all your coffee fixing’s dreams. If you spill some, that’s okay, no biggie, we all do it. We have some lovely napkins right there that the customer right after you will appreciate if you clean up your mess. But, if your too busy, which we all are. we hope to make it out there sooner rather than later to clean up that spill. That goes for the powder and sugar packs too. Oh and if you empty the half-n-half and milks, wed be glad to get you another. Just so you know, we here at the bar who your shaking that empty can at, are busy with espresso drinks. That doesn’t mean we aren’t trying to tend to your need, we just don’t have it right here in our pocket. Its at the other end of the behind the counter area which is why we yelled “need a half-and-half on the bar.”
Thank you so much for taking the time to come by and get coffee from Starbucks. We hope you are as patience with someone else who doesn’t know what they’re doing today as we have been for you. Don’t worry, we are here to help you in the “I don’t know Starbuck lingo” problem. Just don’t be upset at the lone barista who doesn’t know you don’t know better. We do assume you know something about coffee until you tell us otherwise. So please don’t get upset, you did afterall walk into the store. Or did I miss the part where we pulled you in off the street by the arm? Enjoy your coffee!
Disclaimer: I do love my job most of the time and have wonderful wonderful customers I enjoy seeing everyday I work. But Ive worked very long, short handed shifts over the past week and its been busy. I hope this all came across as humorous venting and not a flat our complaining because that’s not at all what I’m trying to do.