This past week I did something I swore Id never do as a singleton. Maybe it was the color that was displayed before me in my newest home away from home, Kohl’s. 50% off the sign shouted to me. Really, what girl who doesn’t love a sale could pass this up? I made special trips to stores in the past to visit these distant friends of mine.

Just to look at how gorgeous they are! Other times I have picked up one piece and hug it close to me (not really, too dusty. The thought has crossed my mind.) Besides the whole not putting these beauties on a registry, I wouldn’t be able to use them at the present. They’d just sit in a box in the garage longing to be used. Taunting me every time I walked pass them. Thats just the saddest thing to do to such a glory of red. So, I broke down and got the first of the vital pieces to what will make a great kitchen someday. Yes, my red dishes have come home. Sooner than ever expected, but home with me they are. Oh and yes, there is much rejoicing!

“Two selves in the garage is all you get.” Is what my mom said to me when I moved out of the house, leaving some things behind. Not just some things but boxes that contain memories through notes, yearbooks, ticket subs, and all sorts of mixture of things. I firmly believe such things stay at your parent’s house, it’s just how it is. You go back home to reminisce about years past, not to a storage place in your current home. Now, years later I have moved back home filling to the brim of those two selves things I have collected as an apartment dweller. Things that don’t fit have found home in our make shift rafters on the garage ceiling. Is it bad I take some delight in the fact I have outgrown my two selves and gotten away with it?

A long over due job of actually going through those boxes is in order. My parents cleaned out the garage (which I don’t think it entails them going through the garage and seeing what is really needed. I think it’s more of a get the dirt and dust out cleaning) while I was in Alabama. The threat of cleaning my two selves was said. Fearing for my precious things (half of I couldn’t recall I had put there years ago) I promised I would make time when I came back to go through them. Ready with my iPod, that time was this evening after work.

I pulled everything off the selves, opening a box full of beanie babies. I shut it right when I unveiled the context. Yes, I used to collect them when that was the thing to do. I’ll even own up to my mom, grandma and myself scouting out McDonald’s for the mini ones. It was that bad. I no longer have those minis’s (no idea where they went to actually) but I do have ones that I just can’t part with. In my mind, they were a child thing which I could not bring with me to my adult apartment. But even now, after years of not even thinking of them, I can’t part with them. Well, not with all of them, some hold special memories for me, so it’s hard to let go.

Another box I found is one that holds travel books, my yearbooks and old school notebooks. I came across some papers I have saved (really I am not a pack rat) that I sat on the garage floor and read. One I wrote for an English class I had my freshmen year of college. The assignment was to write about someone close to you with certain guild lines within that. I close to write about my closest friend at the time to me. I reread this paper which reminds me of things I had forgotten about this person. I quoted a letter she had written to me with words that were heartfelt and meaningful. Well, back then at least, since that friendship is currently non-existent. I sat there fighting every urge to fold it up and mail it to her as a reminder of what we once were. But then I wondered why I do that, for the benefit of ether one of us? Maybe all this time I felt such pain for this friendship is because it’s now I planned it to be.

Strange things we forget we have, things and feelings. Ive said about this relationship: I’m done; my heart is closed to the idea. Reading those words she wrote as my friend four years ago, could they possibly still be good? Or am I really someday, somehow going to have to swallow the tears and truly believe that every common ground has fallen down as if it was never there. As for now, I neatly put away these thoughts. I fold them into a box and put them on a shelve. My heart doesn’t know what to do with these lost forgotten things, so they rest until it does.

I like comfortable relationships. Scratch that. I absolutely adore them. I have two of them in my life that I take for granted far too often.

Before my trip to Alabama last week Carla and I discussed what we wanted to do with the time. At one point she said “Some time at Starbucks reading and writing as a break from one another would be good.” I wasn’t offended at all by this comment. I could see some friends thinking: but we could never get sick of one another! We don’t see each other often enough! As true as that may be, space is good. I appreciated Carla ever more so when she mentioned this, because she was doing the right thing for our friendship. That’s being comfortable in a big way. Its saying, I love you and want to keep loving you so we need to have some personal time. We used to do it all the time as room mates, go down to Crimson Cafe and sit at the same table, every once and a while talk, but for the most part keep to ourselves. Our relationship is to a degree that we can disagree on something and not have anything weird lingering afterwards. She’s one of the few who can call me on something and I’ll actually listen, despite my stubborn pride sometimes.

Ive come to a point where I feel pretty comfortable around Jason. I know, 10 months into this relationship, lets sure the heck hope so. But give me some credit, the flow of a long distance a relationship moves a little different than a “normal” one. When we first started dating Id get completely and totally uncomfortable during silences, especially during meals. As a good Christian girl Id remember that the guy should be the one to brake such silences (where I read or hear that I cant recall now. I just kept thinking that). I tired, really I did, but I had to say something, even if just for my own comfort. I now can sit through a silence and wonder less if something is wrong (sure at times I still do it, but rarely). I refused to sing in front of him at the start of our relationship. For very good reasons of he can sing and I can not. If he didn’t know how to sing Id probably be more incline to sing off key with the radio. When I did sing along one day when we were driving, it made his day. Then I asked if I could sing back up with him. He shuffled his words to avoid an answer. Ive only had this comfortableness once before in a romantic relationship and always wished to find it again. Now I have and its wonderful.

Comfortable relationships are few for a handful of reasons, I’m simply glad for the ones I have been blessed with. Not to say I don’t have others, I do, just these have been constant on my heart of the comfortableness I didn’t realize I had till spending time with them both recently. Strange, usually its you realize what you miss once its gone. Where as with this, it isn’t till I’m in the mist of feeling the best feelings in the world do I soak it up. I don’t have to try to win them in any way. I know I can screw up and they will still love me despite of it all. My heart is comforted by that very thought.

Pictures from my adventures in Alabama are up! Carla took a few as well .

Nevermind next month the last Ashley Stockingdale book comes out, I can wait for these to come out! (I have a funny feeling how Ashley’s story ends and its not how I want it to, so Im going to pout. Yes, over a book character. Im allowed!)

I was eating a Gala apple this afternoon and before biting into it, I take of its sticker. I take a second look at it and it reads: “New! Disneyland Snow White An Enchanting New Musical.”

I show this to Carla and she says to me “Is nothing sacred anymore?”

My family used to stick apple or banana stickers on our white fruit bowl growing up. Would of been a nice tradition to carry onto my family but nooooo. There will be no more of that since I’m not going to stick advertisement on my fruit bowl!

…if you chose to accept it is the following:

1) Go to this blog .
2) Demand an update.
3) Extra credit, do the same for this guy as well.

This message will not self destruct in 30 seconds. Thank you, and have a great day.

I’m sitting in Ashley’s room on this late Sunday morning. We debated about going back and visiting my old church but clearly didn’t make it there. But after showers and looking have way decent to enter into the world we are going to Crimson Cafe. Its been good being back, strange but good. Ashley has moved to the side of town I used to live at, off of the very street even. I think I’m going “home” almost since I’m with Carla and driving in Carla’s car. But then we take a right instead of left towards adorable Main Ave to River Run apartments where Emma would be waiting for us to walk in. Emma is still waiting for us, just in another city not as familiar to me as here.

The wedding yesterday was so sweet, I teared up a little during one of the songs. Not that I could hear the lyrics (we came right at 4pm and they started a bit early) but just the fact that two people who are dear to me where getting married. It was an outside wedding and the day was perfect for it. Most of my work family here didn’t know I was coming. That surprised me since a couple of them did and the way things fly around that place, its amazing they didn’t know. I didn’t catch the bouquet, but thats okay. My photos will follow after I return to the west coast were I am able to up load them. But, I’m going to steal one from Katie for yall to see.

Its bittersweet being back. This place is all too familiar and so many memories make me smile at the site of places. I miss the closest of friends here. Ones who I know who are routing for me in my relationship. I don’t have to defend anything about a long distance down here it seems (other than they wanting to find me a boyfriend here so I will stay here), they just cept that he makes me happy and thats good enough for them. Some new buildings have gone up, which is weird (nice big movie theater for one). Springtime in the south is one of the more beautiful things in this world. Along with spending lots of time with friends I have missed so much. There are few things that are sweeter in this life than this.

“Looks like you need a bigger bag,” Mom said with a chuckle.

…it was up to her to decide if she wanted to take everything she needed and be seen with the dorky-looking bag or take fewer clothes in the cool-looking bag.”

I dont normally hate packing but I do right now. Its not really the matter of whether what someone else might think of my bag, but the bag is the issue. As much as I travel, I have never had more than say a duffle bag or back pack when it comes to packing bag needs. If I ever signed up for the Amazing Race, I have one those cross-country backpacks ready to go. But when it comes to a good solid airplane type bag, I come up short. Seems to me I learned somewhere along the way that you register when you get married for luggage-sets. Its not a single gals item to buy. To stick to this rule I borrow bigger bags when needed or take my parents carry on size. That was my first pick, the nice solid carry on luggage. I start packing and I’m running out of room quickly. Shoot. I ask my mom what should I do and she reminds me of my big duffle bag with wheels at one end. I wrinkle my nose up. Its not ugly, its black and nice looking, for a duffle bag. Its just doesn’t compartmentalize (thats a good ten dollar word right there) the way I want it to. I lay them out side by side on my bed. Nice looking bag much smaller than big duffle bag. More clothes but more likely for mess of clothes. Less clothes but neat and organized. If this is the worse of my problems then I’m in pretty good shape, I know. I don’t need any of you shaking your heads at me because I’m a girl and my packing needs are not being met. I understand this isn’t the end of the world, but it is frustrating. I just want to be clear on the fact I know its not a huge deal. I like to pack a lot, getting things ready, all amounts to planning in a scene. I like to plan. This is a foil in my plan. Stupid bag.

I cant believe very early in the morning tomorrow I will be on a plane to Alabama. I haven’t returned to my home of the southern states since my sad departure last July. It will be bittersweet returning, I’m sure. Good thing that I will be spending lots of girly time with Carla, which is long over due. There’s just nothing else like girl time… late night talks, coffee, Ed food, silly pictures, maybe even see if Emma has lost enough weight to sport an Alabama t-shirt! On top of that I get to see some friends that took forever to finally wake up and realize they belong together get married. Ah what a weekend it will be! I am a tad worried I will return with a slight accent that I normally pick up when talkin’ with my southern friends. Worried only because I would never hear the end of it from Jason, my family or my coworkers. Just think about calling a Starbucks drink (Iced Venti Non-fat Latte) with a thick southern accent - that’s funny. I’m ready for some good southern food (read: Cracker Barrel) and sweet tea. Lets hope the southern charm isnt too charming and I made it back to the west coast next week.

This entry is perfect to describe me when Im sad. Theres been a handful of times when Im in need of calming (usually durning car problems) and my dad always says theres time for Starbucks.

The constant question that was upon me today* (*I wrote this yesterday but was unable to post it till today) was “Is it hard saying good-bye?” Of course it is. But at the same time, we’ve done this often enough that I’m used to it. Not to say I wasn’t sad when I have to drive to the airport. It also helped today that I had a busy day already planned to keep my mind off the saddness of it all. We only have small window of time with one another whether Jace in California or I in North Carolina so we try to make the best of it.

We decided to play tourist in San Diego for the day. Can I just say being a tourist is tiring? Fun, but we both were worn out by the end of the day. The night Jace flew in we killed sometime while the freeway was packed with rush hour traffic in downtown San Diego. A lot of places I had heard of but never been to because of not knowing there where abouts I saw. That was fun for me. Last time Jason was here he told me there were no black folks in California. I was that was not true, but couldn’t remember a single one ether. So when we went to Cost Plus World Market and went to park in their parking only lot a guy yelled to make sure were Cost Plus customers. He was black. I poked Jason “there’s your black guy” and proceeded to point out every single one I saw during the rest of his trip. Just because its not just black and white folk out here as in the south, doesn’t mean we don’t have them!

Friday we went to Hotel Del Coronado. The plan was to blend in like we were guest there. Jace told me that we needed to put on about 20 years to be in the right age bracket. We walked around and I wasn’t very good about blending in once we went inside the hotel. The lobby bell hops kept looking at me (or so I thought) like I was doing something wrong. So we went the side way inside the hotel away from the wall of lobby men guarding the door to the garden. Jason told me that I was not being discert anymore where I peer around corners making sure no one is there.

We spent a little bit of time in Little Italy where Jace bought me my first connolle. It was good and with a dash of interesting. He also got one for my friends Polly and Jeremy whom we were meeting up with at Balboa Park. We sat on a grassy spot looking onto the pretty museum tower that we sadly didn’t make it to. Talked over connells for a couple hours while poor Jason got sunburned. Apparently freckled guys and sun don’t mesh well together.

Saturday we had the treat of hanging out with Aaron. We had planned on spending time with him Sunday afternoon but he came down last minute (joys of youth ministry) to play at Jr. High with Jason. For two people who had never played together before I was quite impressed with them. As where the kids and my fellow staff leaders. There was a little jam season after youth group. Then the three of us went out to dinner and talked for a long while before I begging for some ice cream (nevermind I didn’t finished my dinner). So we hung out in front of the ice cream shop talking, taking goofy photos and the boys played a little drumming action.

Sunday we spent sometime inside the goodness that is Kohl’s (thanks Kari). Had dinner with my parents at a yummy Italian place downtown. Nevermind that my food looked like bugs, it was yummy. (as was my pina cola) I educated Jace on the greatness that is Ed (NBC TV show. Not the horse). We rented Spanglish with the folks, thankfully only one uncomfortable scene in that one. I think they should have stickers “its okay to watch with parents when boyfriend is with you”. It would help me out greatly. Or have like a screen-it.com, but for parents in the company of the boyfriend.

So as my car radio show 9am I thought of Jason flying into the sky. I tired not to be sad, but I was a little. Looking back on the sweet times we had together this short weekend helped me some. Thank goodness I have a girls weekend up to look forward to as to not miss him more.

Aaron graciously came down to play with Jason at J-Hi. I forgot to take some photos of that, but we did take some photos later.

(click on photo to see more!)

Page 166 into “the book”. I care a little more about the characters. On the front cover it says “Faith, Hope and Chocolate”. Its safe to assume from that there will be a character who will talk about chocolate all the time. Well, at first she did then for over a hundred pages, nothing! Finally we reach lent and guess what she gives up? Now we get to hear about her lack of chocolate. This is more like it. And its more into church issues and a mom thinking “A Lion, Witch and Wardrobe” isn’t appropriate for her daughter to read because there is a witch in it. tee-hee. Maybe this half of the book will be more bearable.

Jason is on a plane on the way to Phoenix where he’s got a little lay over (southwest, go everywhere before your destination of course. with all that gas they use I’m unsure how they are the cheapest to fly). I’m vacuuming all the kitty out of my room as to not make his allergies act up. He lives with a cat, so I’m not too worried, its just my one cat sleeps in my room (edge of bed, my desk chair, the floor, all depends on his mood) so there’s probably more kittyness than he’s used to.

I’m SO glad to not be inside a Starbucks today. I didn’t even wanna go to the one closer to my house for a cup of coffee. I did however have Starbucks coffee (Casa Celio for those of you wondering. Best coffee ever) in a french press today. That’s the way to have it. I don’t get people who daily get just a cup of coffee from us take all the time when they can get the same cup at home. I shouldn’t say such things or else I might be out a job come Tuesday.

Fever Pitch comes out this weekend! Yay for that! Oh and Jason, I’m putting my foot down. We are going to see it. It looks like a very cute, me type of movie. Plus Jimmy Falon is in it. I haven’t watch SNL as often since he’s been gone. Weekend report was the best. Nothing against it now, just isn’t the same.

Dawn, Chris and… oh… I always forget my friends babies name. Like the other day Joan came in with Caleb but I had to rack my brain to remember. I don’t think I did till she said his name. But it was nice to see them since they are living in Hawaii now. It was a long morning because I wasn’t feeling well at all so they brought a well needed smile to my face.

Jason flys in tomorrow! Much to do before he comes. Oh and if anyone happens to know where my phone wall charger went to Id be ever so appreciative if you tell me where. My car charge doesn’t cut it. So if you call and don’t hear from me, its because well, I don’t have any phone juice. Anywho, keep a look out for hopefully some pictures of Jason and me in San Diego being tourist (yes, I’m gonna make Jason wear a fanny pack because that’s what tourist do!).

I’m reading the other well known Christian chick-lit book at the moment. I’m about half way through it and its been very hard to get into. Its british even, you’d think I like more just for that reason but I don’t. I don’t care about these characters at all! That’s bad when I’m half way into the book. Its been said its the Bridget Jones of Christian fiction. The only thing I see similar to it is that its both in dairy form. I’m not trying to put down this book, I just wish I cared more about. I did just finish reading Ray Romano’s book which I enjoyed. Short sweet and funny. I recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor and doesn’t mind too much guy talk.

Day two of having a sore throat. This is not good. With Jason coming Thursday and me leaving for Alabama next Friday, its just probably one of the worst timing for me to start feeling sick. So I gotta knock this thing down before it knocks me down. Work wasn’t great today due to just carrying around a heavy head. That was the only thing that kept it from being great. I worked all day with one of my favorite coworkers went by rather quickly. Well, until the afternoon, those always drag. Hence why I work in the mornings mostly when its busy busy busy. But today I needed to sleep in a little and plan on taking night Quill tonight to make sure of a good nights sleep.

April is a busy month for me with Jason visiting, going back to Alabama for a wedding and meeting up with a friend in Orange country a weekend after that. I’m not stressed out or worried about any of it really. Its unlike me to be calm, but with not having much too look forward lately its nice to have a lot of things I’m looking forward too. Also glad to be able to have a few days away from the Starbucks world. But you know I will be in there anyways, something has to be in the coffee. Were coming out with a blended green tea soon. Sounds yummy to me! Speaking of green things, I need to clean the bathroom. (And nothing is really green in the bathroom but if I don’t clean it there might be! I share it with a boy after all.)

Jason: “Guess what is in pre production in Minnesota?”

Alisa: “What?”

Jason: “Prairie Home Companion”

Alisa laughs at the thought that she should of seen this coming.

Jason: “We will be seeing this movie.”

Alisa: “Oh will we?”

“Yes we will!
I don’t know what its about.
I don’t know whose it.
But we will be seeing it.”

Alisa giggles