So I called my Grandma yesterday to tell her about my car and seeing if coming up on Thursday or Friday to knit with her would work. My Uncle, who is staying with her, told me that she had just stepped into the shower but he’d let her know I called. This afternoon I get a phone call back from my Grandma (a bit later than I had thought, I didn’t realize she was such a busy lady!) and told her about my car (she was very excited about the color). I asked her if shed like me to come up on said days. Her reply was “What about next week?” Next week? You cant squeeze me in your schedule before next week? I told her I didn’t have my work schedule for next week yet so I didn’t know. She said to call her when I did know. I got off the phone laughing a little that my 87 year old Grandma was too busy for me. Lets hope her and my schedule fit together next week.

Now, she just needs a name!

Four jobs I’ve had:
Baby Sitter
Assistant Store Manger for The Right Start
Receptionist
Barista

Four movies I could watch over and over: (and I have…)
About A Boy
You’ve Got Mail
Return to Me
Pride and Prejudice (BBC version)

Four books I could read over and over:
Let Me Be A Women by Elisabeth Elliot
Muddhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner
Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller
Emma by Jane Austin

Four places I have lived: (I’ve moved a lot…. 4 top ones for me are)
Kohla, Hawaii
Newbury Park, Ca
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Carlsbad, Ca

Four TV shows I watch:
Gilmore Girls
Amazing Race
Rachael Ray
Friends (reruns)

Four places I have been on vacation
Nashville, TN
Charlottesville, VA
Greensboro, NC
Victoria, Canada

Four websites I visit daily other than email
http://rocksmyfaceoff.net/forum/
www.flickr.com
www.bloglines.com
www.google.com

Four favorite foods:
Thai Food
Stuffing
Coffee
Anything with noodles or cheese (and not really Mac and Cheese)

Four places I’d like to be right now:
Greensboro, NC
Ann Arbor, MI
Knitting with my Grandma
In a new car

Four people I want to participate:
Laura
Scott
Kristin
Brian

I have tired to keep as upbeat as to celebrate my 24th during the whole month of January. Celebration was set a side during the hard week of my Grandpa’s passing. When my relatives asked what I was doing for my birthday it had been pushed in the back of my mind that it came to me as a surprise. Monday even, I was still celebrating with a shopping trip to the mall with my mom to cash in on a gift she promised me (but I had to pick it out). Mom went outside to call my dad wondering if she had found him the right skin to keep his iPod free of scratches. I paid for a cheap but cute sweater at GAP walking out hearing my mom say “It will work out. We can make the kids pay rent.” I was confused by this comment which usually only follows after my brother makes a mess in the kitchen and doesn’t clean it up. But then wait, why was my dad home in the middle of a work day if this was the case? I never expected for my mom to say “Your dad got laid off this morning.”

There is this picture in our family photo album of Kenny, no older than 3 or 4 in a long-johns shirt and batman underwear with his arm out stretched over our front door. He didn’t want dad to go to work, he wanted him to stay home from work. My dad has worked as long as I remember. Heck, he met my mom at a nursery they both worked at in their early 20s. He keeps long hours, going in around 7am and not getting home till 7pm. It was a constant battle between my parents, my dad coming home on time for dinner. It was just a norm for me growing up for dad to be home late or not at all for dinner. My birthday happen to fall on a conference his old company would send him on. Hated them for taking my dad away on my birthday, in my mind he worked hard enough with long hours. His way of showing love for his family is to work hard which includes long hours and short overnight trips. Providing for his family in the best way he knows how.

As I said before, January has been a busier month than planned. My thoughts and prayers seem to be tossed around like a flower in a field on a windy day. As many changes have happened lately, there is a peace in it all. My parents are handling this new season of their life really well. My mom loves having my dad home (she’s a quality time type of person) and they have been working on the “honey-do” list she usually saves for the weekends to work on together. Saw my Grandma for a little bit this past Sunday and she is handling things better than I expected her to. This weekend she will be having her first day alone since January 3rd, the night my Grandpa passed away. So as much as God is showing himself in the peace we have, I’m still scared the hard times are just around the corner. I don’t want to feel like that, but I am that girl with whom struggles with faith. I trust God to take care of all my family’s hearts but my faith feels weak at times.

If you grew up in the church at all, I’m sure you remember going on events. Feeling the “camp high” as its been called. Winter Camp is the fastest camp high a person can get I think. To me, spending time with the girls in a very small space for the weekend feels like old friends getting together. Its these week or weekends away we talk about everything and anything under the sun. These girls have grown a lot in the 6 months since summer camp.

Or maybe its just the season of the year but that actually sat still. They didn’t want to know what time it was every 2 minutes during cabin conversations. They had questions to which they wanted answers to about faith, the world and of course sex. But it was so focused (using a teddy bear as the object you had to have in your hand or else you couldn’t talk) and engaging, something they couldn’t do during summer camp. I even got to know two really guy students named Ian and Shaun.

Its always hard for me to connect with the boys because well they are boys. I don’t know what its like to be a Jr. High boy (I only stole hats from the ones I had crushes on at their age). These guys just seemed to think I was cool which made me feel more comfortable goofing off with them. They both gave me hugs good bye yesterday with a thanks for the weekend.

Highlights of my weekend would have to be the traditional frisbee game we’ve play the past three winter camps. We used to play it in the center of camp, busiest part. Half the fun was trying not to hit the on lookers just passing through. They had put up lights and we broke two of them so we moved the game onto the main path. Still very fun, though it was students vs. leaders and there was too many kids to leaders but very fun none the less.

We also had a talent show that was so very random but so enjoyable. Three of our kids were in it which is a change for our crew since they usually are not too into doing things on stage. As always the worship was great. Actually a coworker of mine was the drummer of the band and it was strange to see him there. Camp life and work life are very different part of my life so having part of work life come to camp was very strange for me. I got to teach (well attempt to at least) Alesia how to knit and work on some of my own. Hayley, Alesia and I sat for hours knitting and chatting about life and it was such a refreshing time.

Spending time with very wise godly women is few and far between in my life. What I always realize at camp is how little I actually manage my time well. In going back to my new years goal investing time in relationships I have to do that more. It may come down to spread sheets and hour by hour planning. This does not turn me off in any way at all, its something Id love to do being this planner I claim to be. So as much as I tried to teach my girls, as always, they seemed to teach me more.

A lot has been going on and a lot is going on. Which is probably the very reason I haven’t posted anything lately, sadly enough. I miss writing. Soon as I was out of town (unexpected) I got back in town just to zip up my suitcase and out of town again (expected) and tomorrow I’m doing it again (why did I even unpack?). Decisions to make, family to shower in love and prayer, work to jiggle between it all. Amazingly enough, I’m not feeling over whelming by it…yet.

Outside is overcast, just waiting to sprinkle or drown us in rain. But of course, its January 12th, it always rain on my birthday. I’m not bitter its winter weather, Id be more upset if it was sunny and 70 degrees - summer weather. Now if it would only snow…

I started off my day by spilling my mocha all over the table, chair and floor of the Green Bean. This is how I repay them for sitting in their coffeshop for one too many hours. But the owner, Pete, is so nice. Not only would he not let me clean it up but gave me a new mocha (I almost more than half way done with my first). I’m going to be on a buzz all day with all this caffeine and sugar! I’m not normally a mocha girl, but its my birthday and that demands chocolate. So I answer that demand.

10:30am…the day has just begun!

For those of you who haven’t been told, my Grandpa passed away on Tuesday night. It was and wasn’t sudden. He was 91, so he lived a long full life. His health had been going down during the past year but just two days before his passing the doctor said he was fine. We weren’t the closest but we knew each other well enough for me to still be sad when I see an old couple. My Grandma is having a hard time but well as could be expected. Their 6 kids and their kids have all flown in by this point, filling the house. Tuesday we will be having the Memorial Service and Wednesday we will be burying Grandpa’s ashes. If you think to, keep my family in your prayers. I love watching them really come close through all of this, not just the holiday small talk I’m used to. We have scanned lots of photos from Grandpa’s life to make a slide show for Monday which I will be adding with recording of the events this past week. So that’s where I have been in case yall were wondering. After all of this I will be going to NC for birthday weekend, which I think will be good for me to be cheered up after all the events. This photo was taken of Grandpa and the great grand-baby, Jamison on Christmas and its such a sweet photo.

What a productive day! I love productive days, especially filling ones that happen right after a day off.

Today I put in 8 hours at the ‘Bucks. It was a good day, which I so needed because that place can be so draining at times and I’m sick of venting/whining about it. So to ramble my whole car ride home to Jason how great the day was is very refreshing. We got lots of new pastries in today. I wanted to try them all but too much sugar when my brake time came. Better to spread out the pastry love rather than eat them all in one day and get sick of them. Prime example: Pumpkin Spice Muffin. So excited for that muffin when it first came out (being in love with fall and it being part of fall and all…) and then ate too many and now I never want to see one again (well maybe not again till next fall). All the new Valentines Day (yes, onto the next holiday, but they forgot my birthday. Hello! Best holiday ever!) retail is up and the new drinks are out. Any one try the new Cinnamon Dolce Latte yet? Yeah… see… I’m not a big cinnamon fan as it is, so I’m the wrong person to ask about that but its not half bad. Also got new teas, which I haven’t tired yet. Then there is new sku snacks and new black apron coffee. So many new things to look at, its like Christmas all over again.

Then I get home, return some emails, pay most of my bills. My bills are mostly due while I’m in North Carolina so I’m trying to get that out of the way so I don’t have to think about them while I’m there. Paying early is always nice. I called compaq because Marla is having battery issues (she wont stay on for longer than 11 minutes without being plugged in) and they are sending her a new battery in two days. I collected some checks together to deposit in the bank. Bought a plane ticket. Balanced my check book. Switch purses. Bought an Andy O cd. Now, I’m going to go do some party research and at the same time, find something to cook for dinner. Maybe even after that start a load of laundry. See what I mean? Productive!

As a fresh rain fell over the night, to me it helps settle the New Year. A fresh year as is the earth with rain. I told this thought to my coworker this morning and he replied “And to make the road wet for all the drunk drivers out there.” Smashing my nice thought of New Years, but true none the less. Actually, it was the main reason I did not attended the “Black and White Party” (you could wear anything as long as it was only black or white.) I was invited to last night. Instead I traded the party for an evening of an empty house (my brother is on tour with his band and my parents went to see a movie with the neighbors) watching “Project Runway” (I have never seen that show before. Quite interesting) and knitted a scarf.

I have mixed feelings on how I spent my New Years Eve. As traditional I saw the ball drop in New York on TV, only it was 9pm my time. I was on the phone with Jason, getting as close as could from across the country ringing in the New Year. I wish I had least had a glass of sparkling cider or something to drink at midnight. But that’s saved more for a party where you cling glasses with the personal next to you in cheering for the New Year. I went to bed around 10pm marking the first New Years I didn’t stay up till midnight. I had to be at work at 6:30 this morning so I didn’t want to be a wreak anyhow (I’m a 7-8 hour sleeper) but even this morning when asked how I spent my New Year I feel fine with it. I only wish I could of shared it with Jason in a room full of our close friends.

2005 wasn’t a big year for me. As Kari said, the highs were highs and the lows where low. I’m still growing in new things that have changed my life and kind of frustrated that some of them are carrying over into the New Year. Some things that would have bothered me this time last year seem very faded now. Other things seem to take their place. I don’t know what 2006 holds for me which as a planner sort of is un-nerving. But then again, I never really know what a year holds for me.

I’m sad to see the holidays end (though to me there is one more holiday coming up in 11 days. tee hee.) as they were much a blur to me. Working in retail its always a very busy time, this year just seemed more busy. Many unreturned phone calls (that is now due to my cell phone being broken. boo.) and not nearly enough time spent with friends and family. That is one thing I want to work on this year, being a better friend. More so, better at relationships. Listen more, talk less (sure Jason will like the sound of that). That also has to do with my walk with God. I used to escape to a city anywhere in San Diego and just be with Him. I miss those times and feel the desperate need for them again. To really try and connect with my Jr. High kids, no matter how much they frustrate me. Manage my time better so I can have time for such growth in relationships that I take for granted far too often in my life. Cheers to 2006.