I’m currently have one the best salads ever at Panera. It has tangerine, strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, chicken and walnuts with a poppy seed dressing. If you are anywhere near a Panera, I highly recommend you going and enjoying this tasty salad. Perfect summer time treat along side a glass of lemonaide.

I bought two balls of yarn on Sunday. I cant believe I bought two balls of yarn. Two more things I have to move right? But what really is two balls of yarn? I can put them in an air tight bag and they really are nothing. Plus they are so pretty, pink and brown. I’ll just be mad if I find them in Yarns, Etc in Greensboro.

My little brother is currently in the process of moving out for the first time. I have extended my help by sharing all the boxes I have brought home from work for myself. He doesn’t seem to have the same order of packing as I do. As in, he hasn’t put a single thing in a box to move yet. Sadly, in this decision to move out and sign a lease with a friend, he cant go travel with his band. He needs to keep his job, so he cant go on the road, so he had to quit the band and be a grown up. Lots of change at once going on for him. I hope he at least says good-bye before I leave the state.

One of my cats who is particular fond of me, Rizzo, has been having this problem of spraying areas of the house (yeah, ew). My mom says its because I’m moving and he’s upset. I reminder her that he does not know I am leaving, only that “his room” is full of boxes. In which my mom replies, same thing, his world is being turned upside down. I’m going to miss Oreo and Rizzo very much, despite the waking me up way too early or things of that nature.

I’m having to miss my 8th graders get promoted into high school. I will be somewhere in Texas during that time. I asked Hayley to call me so I can be on speaker phone when I hear my girls names called. They have been a very fun but challenging class over the past two years. At first, shy 7th graders who turned into loud, I don’t care what you think 8th graders. But I love them and their sweet hearts and amazing women I know they are starting to be.

Alright, before I get too emotional I’m just going to remind yall of my moving blog (which some can argue this entry should be on) since it seems many of you don’t know of it. www.ventiadventures.blogspot.com I got it mainly for when Carla and I are on the road, they have a cool audio blog option. So while I’m on the road that will be the best way to keep in the know of my life.

I ran a red light while listening to this Peter Bradley Adam’s song last night. No joke. I was sitting on the coast highway waiting a rather long light. Caught up in the thoughts of this song and just went, thinking but not really thinking, it was my turn to go. Realizing my huge mistake I apologized with facial expressions to the other drivers to whom didn’t seem to care or understand. Oh well. Enjoy.

Unreconciled by Peter Bradley Adams

Is it hard to live in silence
when I look you in your eyes
well you crave forgiveness
but still you don’t apologize
Is it love that you’re afraid of
in the worlds that you ignore
well we a promise
but we cant stay here anymore

‘Cause you gave everything that you could give
and this is the only life that I can live
and I’m grateful
But I’ve grown weary of this fight
so no regrets, its better left unreconciled

I can see the way you tremble
you don’t mean to make a mess
I don’t want to get angry
’cause I’ll regret the things we said
And there’s a sound from down inside me
that I’ve never heard before
and it says surrender, there’s no work here anymore

‘Cause you gave everything that you could give
and this is the only life that I can live
and I’m grateful
But I’ve grown weary of this fight
so no regrets, its better left unreconciled

…along with anyone who enjoys fantastic music. Go and get Peter Bradley Adam’s ablum. Its perfect for a drive on the coast in the sunset sky. Amazing musical arrangements accompanied by wonderful lyrics. Rarely does it get much better than that.

Unsure to what exactly posed me, but when I purchased my latte today, I also handed over a dollar for a copy of the New York Times. I’m not much of a newspaper reader myself, but again New York seems to be taken over my mind. I will let you know how I feel how things are going on in New York later.

Anne Taylor Loft is a place that’s sophisticate normally. In my mind at least because the price tag is not one I take seriously unless its on sale. Well, unknown to me, I walked into a sale. My mission was to find some capris for summer since I’m not a huge fan of shorts. Little did I know that this sophisticate place to shop is a battle ground when there is a sale going on. I was in my section looking at a shirt and a lady comes up almost pushing me to get the shirt behind it. Let me just say she was not the same size of me so she must be kidding herself as she tired to take me out.

I rarely wear my hair up when I am not at work. Not sure why this is, maybe for the same reason I don’t like wearing collared shirts when I’m off work. Those things I associate myself to work and when I’m off work I want to be done with it. The other day I left my hair up after work and actually liked it. Seems to me I don’t give much effort to what I look like when I go to work. This is probably why I put my hair up to simply to keep it out of my face when I’m running around, not because I think it looks cute.

Driving up my street today I got a little teary. Listening to Peter Bradly Adams (half of the no longer eastmountainsouth) thinking one of these songs would be good for Carla and my road trip cd. Thinking of the last time I will drive up my street is in my near distance future. Okay not the last time ever but moving away from it. Which we are not going to think about too much about that, instead, check out Peter Bradly Adams.

I shouldn’t of watch Love Monkey this afternoon. Not because of the storyline or lack of the networks knowing how great Tom is, but the scenery. I don’t know if its because a friend of mine in New York just got in engaged. Or my musical friend moved there recently and I have been thinking about her. Or the inching inside for a new place to see. New York is one of those places that it almost seems cliché to want to go to. Especially coming from a girl who reads chick-lit. I don’t know, maybe I have this romantic notion of New York having never been there. Feels the same as my thoughts of the south before actually going there. I remember driving down the main drive of Tuscaloosa the night Carla and I arrived, totally different than what I pictured but all the while the same. I hope I don’t have overly romantic ideas of what New York is. But today I really wish I could just hop on a plane and go. Visit all these places I see on my favorite shows and sit in some hole in the wall with Marla and write. Write about all that I see and then spend the rest of the afternoon snapping my view of New York on film. Thanks for stepping into my daydream with me.

Yesterday, Jace (aka, best boyfriend ever) sent me a beautiful bouquet of gerber daisies. Red, pink and white – all he picked out himself, just for me. It was such a sweet surprise which was such a bright point in my week. Past few days has been very over cast and muggy, nothing like a spring day should look like. I get to look over at my pretty flowers from a man who cares for me, to brighten this ugly spring day. The card reads “You deserve flowers” which I don’t know if its true, but maybe if I read it often enough I might just believe it.

(Oreo was smelling them. He thinks they smell pretty. And dont mock me for my chick-lit, lol)

(there are more on my flickr)

Those are images of my daily drive around town (especially on my drive to work). As much as I love my town in the spring time with the mustard flowers and poppies popping up everywhere, I keep thinking back to the cherry blossoms in North Carolina. And the amazing colors the leaves turn and dance in the wind during the fall. Of course in exchange I will have the heat and the cold instead of my constant 70 degrees. But in the mist of piles and boxes, I feel like it all will be worth it.

There has been a bit more changes going on in my family, hopefully that will be for the better. My dad has accepted a new job with a whole sale nursery, which is more the speed he is used too. His retail job was just wearing on him and effecting our family extremely. Mom is still going to work for the time being, but I want to see how long it lasts. My brother is moving out with a couple friends of his June 1st. That means 12 whole days without him then I’m off and my parents will really be empty nested. At work, I’m going through the “Coffee Masters” program, learning even more about coffee. When I finish the program I get to wear a black apron is really the reason I’m doing it, tee hee.

So, I’m doing a little better these days, even if Id rather redo this year over again. That’s probably my main lack of posting, things seem to get a little better but then something will get me down again. I am thankful for the constant relationships in my life I can find comfort and support in. I only with I had more desire to see this hard time as a time to grow closer to Jesus. Where as I fear what He might want to teach me instead. But even still, I have people who point my straight back to Him with a gentle nudge. And then I have the others who are just simply there to listen to my tears and just let me be.

Friday afternoon I got a voicemail message from my friend Mark:

“Hi Alisa. I was calling to see if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight. I invited some of the guys over and well, your one of the guys. Let me know. Bye.”

This message took me a back a bit. It was the first time in my life I had been referred to as “one of the guys”. I didn’t think much of it, but then I changed my shirt to a cute pink blouse. When calling Mark back to confirm plans I ask if I could bring anything. He said a desert would be good. So I made a homemade tart and bought Mike’s hard lemonade (girly drink, not beer) for the evening. I even put on a little more makeup (eyeshadow). Not that this group of guys I care that they think of me as “one of the guys” but I don’t think I liked being called that. I like the fact that God created me a girl and I like that I embrace that. So I was just embracing it a little more with these guys, even during Mission Impossible:3, covering my eyes during parts and jumping in my seat. By the end of the night I was more than done being around manly men and even told them I enjoyed boys night out but glad it was coming to a close (a little too much gas being passed freely). Just interesting the little things I found myself doing (subconsciously or not) to show outwardly how girly I am.

I recently listened to a Lauren Winner interview, which hearing her voice still weirds me out. You know how when you read a book and picture the author’s voice in your head. But when you actually hear it, it sounds nothing like you thought? Well, that’s how it is with me and Lauren. Even knowing what her voice sounds like I’m surprised everytime I hear it. What I like about hearing her speak is that she talks a lot like how she writes. Making my girl-crush on her grow even more (but not as much as Kari’s).

The last interview I heard she was discussing her newest book “Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity”. I forget how it came up, but she was relating two things God asks of us as Christians. Learning how to curve the discipline of our sexual desires. A friend of hers had talked to her while she was writing “Real Sex” about a spiritual discipline we are called to do as Christians, fasting. As someone who just went through her first fast not too long ago I understood the connection she was making. If we can tell our bodies no to food, which is something we need as means to survival, then why cant we tell our bodies the same to sex before marriage? If a person never has sex, they will still live. But if they say no to food, that will after a while kill them.

Lauren brought up this point because sadly, the church has given this idea to young people that sex is bad. Giving them the scare tactic instead of actually explaining why we wait. When a person fasts, telling yourself for that time that food is bad is missing the whole point of the discipline. You are turning your desires over to God, relaying on His strength to carry through the hard times of it. To use that time you would be preparing food or eating to be with Him. Usually too there is an understanding you are trying to grasp with this discipline. Like when the Jr High group did it a few weeks ago, we were trying to grasp a tiny piece of what millions of people go through. Though, we know where we know were our next meal is coming from and those people we are fasting for don’t.

Now these are just my thoughts in what Lauren said, I’m not quoting her (you should hear the interview) by any means. Just sorting through my thoughts I had while listening her ideas on this subject. Comparing two disciplines we are called to as a believer in Christ. Two that I probably wouldn’t of thought to connect, but it makes easier to understand them. The desires for each (food and sex) are very different things, but the idea of saying no to both can come from our strength or God’s strength. Which is a basic understand of Christianity, turning our lives over to God, but braking it down to help our minds to wrap around this amazing mystery that we love about God.

I don’t have enough files to get a filing cabinet of any sort. Nor do I really have a need for a desk since Marla came along. So to keep my files under control I use those according style file folders. Nothing fancy because well they don’t really come fancy. Sure there are those are hard covers, but I’m just too cheap to pay that kind of money for something that holds bills. But then I took a little trip to Target for something completely different and found fancy file folders! It was on my list of things to clean out before I move next month, so why not start clean with new ones? Practical question I think too. So, I bought new cute flowery file folders today. They are so cute, I should take a picture to show yall. And during Amazing Race tonight I’m going to clean my old not cute at all file folders. I’m looking forward to that, not only will I have fancy, cute (most important really) organized files, but something else marked off on my list. Go ahead and make fun of me all you want, I don’t care, I have cute file folders.