This will be night two in my new downtown home. The sounds of the train and traffic driving back lulled me to sleep last night. I’ve lived in downtown of cities before, I know the noises so they are sorta comforting but at the same time an adjustment. I’m slowly unpacking and cleaning up my new home and making my mark.

Tonight was a good small group with my girls. Seemed that they could grasp and walk away with, even a small piece of something. Working with Jr Highers, rarely do you see the fruits of your work in them. Its years later you see all your work and love shine through in the individuals they grow up to be. So when I get a tiny piece of knowing they understood something I’ve shared, it means a lot. First retreat this past weekend I think helped opened them up more. Even after almost 5 years in youth ministry, I still have so very much to learn.

November is coming to a end and the holidays are quickly approaching. I exchanged names for a Secret Santa with my church friends tonight to exchange gifts in two weeks. Tomorrow the work version sign-ups will start. I guess with setting up the holiday items up so early I just didn’t expect for the Christmas season to come this quickly. Plus the weather being in the 60s-70s just makes me all screwy in knowing what time of year it is. Though the empty trees do remind me of the season that has come and gone. I’m going to try this year to slow down and take part in Advents more than I have in the past. To soak in the knowledge of really what this season is really all about.

Been painting some hand me down furniture for my new room that is freshly painted. As fun as painting is, I hate waiting for it to dry. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I will be able to start putting things away and set up my room. Its bittersweet really.

42 Hours

Ashboro Zoo

Enjoy.

*I insert a mix cd made by Scott to play while driving with a few of my girls in the car. Cue Dave Matthews Band music. I look over to my passenger seat to see Ahlia with her fingers in her ears.*

Me: “What are you doin’?”

*Ahila quickly takes her fingers out of her ears with a knowing look on her face that she’s been caught.”

Me: “Don’t you like my music?”

Ahila: “I don’t like country music.”

Me: “This isn’t country.”

Ahila: “Well… I don’t like your white girl music.”

*I sit there thinking what Dave would think about being calling “white girl music”.*

Dear Jim Halbert,

I’m sorry that I called you an jerk* tonight. I didn’t really mean it, I was speaking out of bit of anger and frustration. Its just, you were being so cold to Pam. I know she turned you down twice after you put your heart on the line. You have to understand, she dated Roy since high school, its all she’s know a life with Roy. Now she’s on her own figuring out who she is and that takes some time. She misses you, she told you that! She wasn’t afraid to run up and give you a hug in front of everyone. That is the fancy new Beesly! But you instead avoided the great banter that we all know and love between Pam and Jim. You choice to flaunt your new found spark with this Karen girl in front of her. You know Pam has feelings for you, no matter how many times she tells you “we will always be friends.” I’ve been told the reason I got so upset tonight is because I love the idea of Jim and Pam more than Jim. This is not true, I love you Jim which is why I hate to see you put up a wall to your relationship with Pam. You just didn’t have to be so stand offish to her, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t blame Pam for the words she used in the parking lot, she’s just as hurt as you. Did that long phone conversation mean nothing to you? I don’t get the feeling you’d save the receptionist anymore, Jim and that makes me very said. I know you told Pam you are sorta seeing somebody and all, but Id keep my eye on Toby if I were. Glad to have you back in Scranton and giving Dwight a hard time, but please include Pam. Its much funnier that way anyhow. Im including a couple photo to help remind you of how happy you were when Pam and you were close, just in case it helps.

Fondly,
Alisa

*what I really called you probably isn’t appropriate for everyone’s consumption.

You know those days where you feel there are just not enough hours in the day? With the sun quickly making an appearance then leaving all too soon doesn’t help that feeling ether. This weekend I have my first youth weekend with my new youth group. I’m excited and really looking forward to it. I’m also getting ready to move into my new home soon (next week it seems sometime… when I can find the time). I’ve been working lot of 10-6 or 11-7 shifts lately to which is nice for sleeping in and staying up. But does nothing to help get the many things on my to do list done. Somebody steal me sometime please. Also, lots of photos to come to flickr, stand tuned.

As someone who got home a little after 1:30am from setting up her store to be covered in red, please be gentle. I understand its the middle of November and we are decorating our stores with Christmas products from wall to wall. I’m assuming most of you are folks who don’t like getting their Christmas shopping done early like some (read: me) of us do. Plus, I love Christmas. I love Starbucks (most of the time). Put those two together and you have one happy girl on your hands. So, for my sake, go to your local ‘Bucks and take a look at all the pretty (some tacky I will even admit but wont tell you which ones) holiday items for sale. Get yourself a holiday beverage in a red cup with a holiday sleeve along with a holiday pastry in a holiday pastry bag. Actually, tomorrow, day of red cups and red stores, they should be sampling like crazy so you may even get freebies. Christmas music doesn’t start till the day after Thanksgiving so your safe from that, just soak in the red.

Beneath my shying away from the cold wet rain, I wish I could stand in the middle of street with my arms stretched wide open. The practical side of who I am takes over, not wanting to deal with the consequences of wet clothing or hair. Instead I dash from shelter to shelter avoiding the rain that I love. At what point in life do we stop being that girl who wants to dance around in the rain, without a care in the world to the women who seems to always have an umbrella in the car? Sure it’s not an overnight thing, more so a gradual process of trading those childlike things for adulthood.

I’ve been thinking about growing up a lot lately. The sermon on Sunday was geared towards parents. Sitting in my seat wondering if Id remember this Sunday someday when I have kids of my own. Wondering if I really could simply just tell my parents how I thought they could make better parents. This past week, no reason in particular I’ve been missing my family greatly (so much in fact that a country song about a father and daughter made me cry). Anyone knows that their parents are humans so they will screw up in parenting. That is something else I realized I traded when becoming an adult. I no longer solely saw my parents as these two people who would never let me down. Children should have that idea and comfort in their parents. But the older I’ve become it would almost be too great of an expectation to place on my parents expecting them to be same as they were to me as a child. They will not say the right things or do the right things every single time. Even so, I will still turn to them for advice on life because of the trust they have built in my relationship with them.

Officially, we are adults at age 18. Do our parents (or to many of my friends, as parents) have only that short of time to help form who we will be when we are no longer under their care? That really is a very short amount of time, I never really thought about how short of time that is. Just thinking back on how the early 90s don’t seem that long ago to me, but it was almost twenty years ago. I believe parenting doesn’t ever really stop, but the most dominate time of influence you have your childs life is those first 18 years or so. 18 they start to go off to college or find themselves as an adult (I was the ladder). The role of the parents doesn’t lessen, rather, changes roles. My parents are still my parents, but I turn to them for different things than I did even a year ago. Those small windows of time have different seasons of your child being a small baby to toddler to a 5 year old going on 30 to a teenager and so on. All of those times seem to pass by in a blink of an eye (so Ive been told) and during those times of savoring this blessing you are to train up your child in hopes you can give them all you want to offer them.

To all the parents out there, kudos to you. To those of you trying to start a family, you are so brave. To parents of grown children, we still carry a part of the small little one you still think of us as, even if our mask looks like an adult. To my parents, thanks for the love and support I know I have to still grown up in.

The past three mornings I have woken up to frost on my car.

This morning was the first time ever I have started my car, turned the heat on full blast 10 minutes before actually driving her.

Jason’s apartment complex covered the flowers up. I’ve never seen blankets for flowers and my parents met at a nursery, my dad has worked with plants all my life and they still both make their livelihood dealing with plants. I think I would known of such a thing.

Driving home this evening the Replacement’s sign read 27 degrees.

27 DEGREES.

Now, please bare with this clearly California girl who is not used to things like frost three days in a row on her car. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen frost before, but it happens like once a year in California and its much later in the winter season. Heck, its not even winter here yet, its in the middle of fall. Im all for some cool weather and I don’t even mind it being this cold (Im sitting in front of a nice warm fire as I write this) but all Im saying is, Im in for a long cold winter.

My family never really celebrating Halloween. Sure when I was really little I remember dressing up as Dorothy (sparkly red shoes and all) and a Bride another year. But usually my parents would ask my brother and I “Would you rather go Trick or Treating or go to Disneyland?” We were not dumb kids, we picked Mickey most every year. I remember my parents being on a kick on how evil Halloween was for a few years but nothing that really scare me from the holiday. As an adult, I haven’t really gathered my thoughts completely on what I think of it. I like the idea of dressing up for a fun night, but sure the real meaning behind it I don’t really, well, get behind. Get back to me next year on that.

This year was Jason and I’s first Halloween together, and over two years together I still didn’t know Jason’s take on it till last night. He doesn’t like the holiday, really much at all. Yet we still were at Target picking out candy and good candy at that. I asked why if he didn’t like Halloween why he was getting (good) candy? He didn’t want to be a Scourge to the kids just because he didn’t. Fair enough. With me spending the evening at his place (not dressed up as Pam as I had hoped) we made a new game. Unofficially, its called Friends-Trivia-Loser-Answers-the-Door. I had gotten a Friends trivia book earlier that day and wanted to try out our knowledge of show. Whoever had the most wrong answers when the door bell rang was who answered the door. Simple enough right? I was apparently rusty on my Friends facts because I found myself answering the door a lot last night. Cutest kid of the night, a two year old superman who when asked “What do you say?” by his mom said “CANDY!” I think this whole trivia game for door answering duties is a good tradition to start. And I’m also looking forward to left over candy in my mint ice cream tonight.