Finishing “Heres to Hindsight” by my friend Tara Leigh Cobble, I felt like I knew her worlds more than I did before I picked up the book. Now, I don’t say my friend to drop a name by any means. Its funny how I actually met Tara Leigh… I got a copy of her CD, loved it, shared my love with Carla and then went to a Sandra and Derek show and saw her at a show. We talked a bit, offered her a place to stay that night and kept in contact over email and what knots on the internet. So shes a long distance friend but a friend none the less.

Tara Leigh’s story is a honest one, about the life she has taken on as a musician. It talks about the importance of community (probably my favorite part of the book) in ones life. And of course, about boys and how they leave a mark in one’s life. Between the lines of all of this she talked about the artwork that God used all these different funny to serious things in her life making it to what we know of her today. Tara Leigh is a 20 something but I don’t know if Id think of this as a 20 something sort of book. Sure it talks about college and about big choices in life a 20 something would have to make, but once you move pass that, its just about life. Its about faith and what that means in life. Not life as a general term but the everyday, relationship, good and bad stuff. It didn’t feel like Jesus was being pushed down any reader’s throat but it also didn’t put on a show to make you like what she had to say. Sure she wanted it to sound good so people would read her book, but it wasn’t a forced good. It felt like I was reading one of her blogs and heard her voice in my head as I read her words. I don’t think her voice would of been as present if it didn’t sounds like her on the pages.

Being the part I enjoyed the most in “Heres to Hindsight” was on community I leave you with a quote from the book that I keep reading over and over again, hoping just maybe it will sink a little.

“When I began to realize that maybe this whole notion of “community” wasn’t just about me having friends…maybe it was about them feeling loved too. Maybe that is the way that iron starts to sharpen iron – the initial contact. Maybe I wasn’t just getting a community, but getting an opportunity to serve a community, to love people back, to love them just because they are humans like me, with their own broken hearts and insecurities and fears about the future.” -Tara Leigh Cobble

Book #1: Cam, Cool and Adjusted by Kristin Billerbeck

This is the third and last of the Spa Girls series which focuses on the character Poppy. Three best friends who live in Northern California sharing their lives through jobs, men and God and of course the spa to retreat to. Poppy is the very ‘Santa Cruz” of the three girls, which is present through out the books with Clark shoes, crazy diet and patch worked skirts. She’s the not the typical chick-lit girl you’d find in those brightly colored books (though I don’t like the cover art of Poppy because clearly the artists didn’t read the book or else they’d know it isn’t Poppy at all. Other than her hair color so boo to that.) Out of the three books I like how the middle book (about Morgan) is written the most, I don’t know why. I really loved Lilly’s story, probably because I felt like if I could relate to one of the Spa Girls, it was her. Even though I like how I didn’t see parts of Poppy’s story turning out how it did (I would say but I don’t want to give it all away) or even if I agree with it, that’s what I loved about Kristin’s first series, Ashley Stockingdale. Personally, I got more attached to Ashley than I did to the Spa Girls, maybe it was because there is three books focused on her where as I only got one book focused on these other characters. Not to say I didn’t enjoy the Spa Girls, they were a good chick-lit; drama filled with lots of girly references and interesting characters. I think its hard to close a series like this, so maybe Poppy’s story was harder to write because all storylines had to come to some ending, where as the first two books where merely moving the story along. All and all I enjoyed reading about crazy food eating and advice giving Poppy, though I would of picked the other one for her.

Now, the next thing I did was just a big mistake. I knew I should of just stuck to the original plan of dropping off my bible and walk out. But no, I had to walk around and see all the Christian retail items I know so well (Christian bookstores are really all the same). I wondered over to the Christian fiction section to see if Kristin’s new book had been released yet. No dice. But I did see another book by an author who I will not name, who I have ranted before about. This author should not be writing chick-lit. Write a novel or whatever kind of fiction book you’d like but do not market it as a chick-lit! Which she (or her publisher) is doing because the cover, I actually liked but knew better to be fooled! Even the tag line wasn’t something that should be on a chick-lit book! Just because chick-lit is “in” right now doesn’t mean you should write it! If you don’t have the chick voice or understand a chick-lit basic story line then please stay away! So many exclamations because it just drives me crazy to market a book something that is not. Then I also made the mistake of seeing what is out in the Christian music world. Before I got more worked up I left the store, stomping my feet just a little.

The last interview I heard she was discussing her newest book “Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity”. I forget how it came up, but she was relating two things God asks of us as Christians. Learning how to curve the discipline of our sexual desires. A friend of hers had talked to her while she was writing “Real Sex” about a spiritual discipline we are called to do as Christians, fasting. As someone who just went through her first fast not too long ago I understood the connection she was making. If we can tell our bodies no to food, which is something we need as means to survival, then why cant we tell our bodies the same to sex before marriage? If a person never has sex, they will still live. But if they say no to food, that will after a while kill them.

Lauren brought up this point because sadly, the church has given this idea to young people that sex is bad. Giving them the scare tactic instead of actually explaining why we wait. When a person fasts, telling yourself for that time that food is bad is missing the whole point of the discipline. You are turning your desires over to God, relaying on His strength to carry through the hard times of it. To use that time you would be preparing food or eating to be with Him. Usually too there is an understanding you are trying to grasp with this discipline. Like when the Jr High group did it a few weeks ago, we were trying to grasp a tiny piece of what millions of people go through. Though, we know where we know were our next meal is coming from and those people we are fasting for don’t.

Now these are just my thoughts in what Lauren said, I’m not quoting her (you should hear the interview) by any means. Just sorting through my thoughts I had while listening her ideas on this subject. Comparing two disciplines we are called to as a believer in Christ. Two that I probably wouldn’t of thought to connect, but it makes easier to understand them. The desires for each (food and sex) are very different things, but the idea of saying no to both can come from our strength or God’s strength. Which is a basic understand of Christianity, turning our lives over to God, but braking it down to help our minds to wrap around this amazing mystery that we love about God.

I wrote my last post to turn to my frustrations (there was a pile of them last night, some still remain) to something no so consequential (or something that cant flight back). I read my current book “Cooking with Mr. Latte” to cheer myself up a bit. My mom asked if Id cook Easter dinner since she has to work I don’t. I’d said I would. Discussing the menu last night turned into a very frustrating conversation that had me close to just not wanting to do it at all (Lovely attitude, I know). As silly as this is, the book helped take me to a better cooking place. Love the comfort that books can bring me; even in the smallest ways.

On my way to work this morning I put in Andrew Peterson’s news offering “Appendix A” (demos and remixes and live songs). It started off with one my favorite of his songs “Land of the Free” and when it gets to the part of the song where it goes “because I’m feeling pretty good in Tennessee” then it brakes off to clips of different recordings of Andy singing the different towns he had played that song live in. He said “becasue Im feeling pretty good in Tuscaloosa” and tears swelled up in my eyes. I’ve been missing what part of my heart calls home lately, more so the relationships I dearly miss. Just hearing the name had me on the edge of tears, bringing feelings forward I didn’t know I had. Then I went on to listen to “The Things About Airplanes” to which the line “I’m sitting next to this over dressed man but I only want to be sitting next to you” and I think about how I miss Jason. Then my thoughts carried to my dad had mention wanting to listen to this new cd (he’s Andrew Peterson’s newest biggest fan) and how he doesn’t get to take plane trips with his new job. His new job is different of course (whole sale vs retail) but it doesn’t seem to be liking it as much as any of us thought. And my mom had to get a part time job too because of the pay cut. I think of the changes my family has had to go through the past few months and how this are still adjusting. My mom probably would of been a bit more understanding with my suggestions of dinner items. Most of her arguments about not sticking to traditional dishes was the practicality of the costs and dishes. She’s more tired with a job on her feet all day, making it very different to come home to a well rested mom instead of the calm housewife. I’m in tears trying to pull myself together before I reach my parking lot having to head into work. But I’m thankful for the tears because I don’t know if I would known of my feelings without them. Lets just hope Andy doesn’t make me cry every time I listen to his cd or else I’m just gonna be a teary mess.

“If You Can See Me Now” is about Elizabeth who has taken over the role of parent to her 6 year old nephew. And I’m realized giving a summary of this book would give a way things Id want you to find out for yourself from reading it, so no summary but just know, I stayed up one too many nights reading this book.

What I like most about Cecelia’s characters is how relatable they are. Elizabeth is lonely, has past things to deal with and understand herself. You grow to care for her and the other main characters in the book, which I believe is what causes the not wanting to put the book down at night problem.

So if I was giving stars, I would give this book a 4 probably. Its different than other fiction books when it comes to a storyline. The storyline traveled quite nicely. Main characters were great and personable. It was an easy read, could of sit down in an afternoon and read it, which is only its chick-lit type feature. If you have yet to check out Cecelia’s work, this book would be a great one to read. But then again I’m wanting to reread “PS I Love You” after this.

Tonight I drove down to San Diego (longest drive for Gwen yet) with my friend Hayley to see Don Miller. This is the second time I have gotten to see him speak/read, I snuck (crashed, which ever way you wish to view it) into a conference he spoke at Christmas time a year or so ago. I really enjoying putting a person to all these writings I had been captured by. Hayley and I both bought copies of Don’s newest book “To Own a Dragon” which released for sale today (or so we were told. Jace got his from amazon.com a few days ago). We chatted a bit until both of us wanted to dive in a little into the book. I went straight to the chapter on girls where Hayley took the more practical step of the first chapter. While we sat next to each other and read silently waiting for 8 o’clock to roll around I was tapped on the shoulder. A girl who was reviewing the evening said that had heard we didn’t attend this school (we were at Point Loma. I must say, felt strange to be on a college campus again. It for sure has a vibe I haven’t felt in a long time) and would like to interview us. That was fun because the last time I was interviewed for a paper was for Carla, which I don’t know if she counts since we lived together after all. I gave donmillerfans.net a little exposure and voiced my love for Don’s books.

Nothing Don said shocked me, even if I did think “I cant believe he just said that”. But half the time, its what a lot of people are thinking and just don’t say. Its one of the qualities a lot of people like about his writing. His honesty in still asking questions about a faith he has called his own for many years. Apparently a couple weeks ago he was at this same college guest speaking of sorts for the writing department. I thought how cool would that be to talk with Don about writing. That’s really what makes or brakes a book for me: a voice. Not just any voice, but a relatable and strong voice. This is what I’ve read and been told in the author circles I keep. You need to have a voice, whatever kind of voice that is and have passion behind it. Don has hit that nail right on the head for me which is the main draw for me, along side the deep honesty. His witty humor is quite helpful too. I like laughing during heavy stuff. He also talked about an authors view point of the whole Million Pieces incident, which is interesting to hear from someone on the inside book loop and all. I liked that he used the word “bookdom”. That’s an awesome word.

To me, its like spending a short time with a friend almost, though I know lots about him and he very little about me. That must be very strange for someone who writes about their life. At least it would be for me, which in part could happen on this blog (all you lurkers, show yourself!). I look forward to reading “To Own a Dragon” soon. I noted how thin this book was compared to his others which kind of sadness me, so I hope another one is around the corner. Don said something about the next book being about Adam and Eve mostly which excites me cause my favorite chapter of “Search For…” was on them. Both of the times I have met Don, there is just this joyful presence that you cant ignore or help to take with you. And of course his books to remind us of a different way to look at faith we far too often take for granted.

“You are supposed to be enough,” I tell the icon. “That you came to Earth is supposed to be enough. Even if I never go to New England again, even if I never plan another trip with somebody, even if I never feel happy for one more mintue, that you came to Earth is supposed to be enough.” I glare at my icon.
“And,” I say after a mintue, “it is enough. It actucally is. If this is all I ever have, this glimmer of knowledge that you were born in a manager, that really will sustain me.”
“But”, I add, “I really hope it doesnt have to sustain me.” I really dont want it to be just me and the icons for all these Christmases forever.

Now, I know she is more dealing with being lonely there, but she actucally vented her hurts to God. I have a big hurt right now that I feel I havnt broughten before God enough. Reading that, I wondered maybe I should scream at God, but then again Im not made at Him. Im mad at myself for somehow screwing up so dang badly. I told Jason all of this and he asked me:

“What if God told you that you are not in fact screwing up?”

Me:”Then Id counter that with the question of “Then do something about it. Or at least show me how to do something about it. Becasue I feel like Im failing at this aftermath.”

Funny thing though, I knew I would. I knew the moment this all went down that Id fail in how to handle it. Im not suprised at where Im at, but yet I dont know how to deal with it. Or make the outcome better as my Dad keeps asking me to do. Sitting here trying to find the positive side of the hurt is very hard for me to do. I have to move one stone at a time and the first one seems rather heavy.

“So much for celebrating Jesus’ birthday. I am more like the child who spends Mother’s Day demanding to know why there is no Children’s Day, not understanding that Children’s Day is every other day of the year.”

On a lighter note, I am being very cross-culture this afternoon. For lunch I am baking some orange chicken (Chinses) while snacking on some chips and salsa (Mexican) waiting for the chicken to be ready. I think its a good meal to help prepare me for one more closing shift for my so needed day off, dont you?

Do not be miss lead. This is not the final cover! This is why I am here, to help guide all of you. The colors are close but do not go out searching for a cute chick with a handbag.
Well, I have yet to see the actually on the book on a shelf to whether or not know whether the correct cover is out. Just the same, you are to look for this cover:

Good thing my only day off is on the day the book is released. Knitting will have to be on hold while I consume it over the next few days. If only it was cold enough to build a fire and sit in front of it with a warm drink and read. Its October and I want my fall!