Forgive me for those of you who have the belief that all things Christmas do not come before the day after Thanksgiving. As Ive said before, Im in the Christmas mood early thing year, which comes from being ahead in Christmas cards and Christmas list. This photo, however, has more to do with bittersweet memories than actual Christmas. My cat Rizzo hasnt come home to my parents in a very long time, my parents think he is gone. He is an old guy and has been going crazy for quite a while now. Its easier to not being there when he isnt around, but its hard to grasp that next time I go home he wont be there. He always drank out of the Christmas tree’s water every Christmas.
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My parents for a long time said once our pets passed on that they’d be done with animals. Esp. with my brother and I both out of the house. I think the empty nest got to them a little too much since they started sending me photos of kitties they wanted to adopt. They looked a lot like our other cat we had to put down last year, an awesome black and white cat named Oreo. So they of course sent me black and white cats. I told them to pick the one who looked the least like Oreo. It was just creepy to me that they’d get another cat that looked really close to Oreo. When they went to look at one of these black and white cats and came home with two tabbys.

I wonder if my parents new kittens, Lola and Lucy, who its strange I havnt met yet and wont for a while since I wont be going to California for Christmas this year. I wonder if they will drink out of the Christmas tree’s water. Im happy my parents have some cats to keep them busy. When I saw the LOLcat, that looks like my parents new kitty doing something one of our old cats is famous for doing, it brought forth some bittersweet memories. Hope you enjoy your first Christmas Lola and Lucy.

Why do I always set myself up for failure? I think Im going to have loads of time on my hand over the next two weeks! I can blog every day about the exciting adventures to have while in California. There wasn’t loads of time nor was there that exciting of adventures to share with you all. For future referance though, usually I always make time to load on my flickr . Im at least good about documenting my time off through a lens of a camera if nothing else. Let me recap for you through those photos my trip to California:

This is Sarah and Ilise. Sarah is the reason we flew out so early before Christmas. She got married on the 15th and we were flown out to help with her wedding that took place in her parents backyard.

You can see all of the photos I took day of the blessed event on flickr. Even on the work side of this wedding, it was a wonderful day. Perfect weather. Good to see old friends of mine from my first Starbucks.

After the chaos of the wedding, Jason and I went up to LA to see the Getty and visit Dunder Mufflin. This is a view of the 405 from the tram up to the Getty. Who knew a freeway could be so pretty?

We saw this guy. Hes on most every TV show we watch as an random character. I knew him from Friends, as a cook in Moncia’s kitchen. His New York accent is very real. We know since he chatted the whole ride down the tram.

This me (with a cold smile since it was raining. It never rains in California and of course it does when we want to see DM!) in front of Dunder Mifflin. I still cant believe we found it since it is in the middle of no where LA down this random street with business all around. They probably were laughing at us, but I don’t care! I saw The Office!

After driving around LA for a bit, we met up with my oldest friend, Laura. By oldest, we’ve known each other since were 10. That’s 15 years folks! Crazy!

Couple days later Jason and I got birthday presents early from my parents and went to Disneyland! We got free ears, which was so fun for me since I wasn’t willing to shell out the money for them. That’s a photo of Jason on the tea cups. Doesn’t he look like hes having so much fun? Tee hee. It was a perfect day to go, we walked onto most rides, which has only made us spoiled for any theme park in the future.

My friends David and Rebecca has a baby this past year and I finally got to met Penny at 10 months old. Shes one happy baby and a delight to be around. David is one of my favorite photography friends and we took a photo walk with his wife and our friend Jessica at Hotel Del. He taught me a lot while I was there, which Im forever greatful.

That is the pretty sunset blue sky with the Hotel Del. Other photo is taken by Jason of David, Penny and me. Penny is taking two to three steps at a time. At 10 months old! David calls her a genius baby, which she just might be.

Jason on Chaz. Enjoying an evening with my family at the house. We watch a lot of movies. Muppets Christmas. Last Pirates movie. New National Treasure and Juno.

This is my family in front of the tree. Aren’t we cute?

Jason and I waiting to open presents. We can be cute sometimes too.

Opening presents on Christmas Eve! Its because we got to my grandparents on Christmas Day. I don’t mind spreading Christmas out at all!

My cute Grandma watching her kids and grandkids opening presents.

Spending time with family does that to a person. Tee hee My aunt Cindy showing us how its done.

Last but not least, our Christmas tree. My mom left it for my to decorate the day I flew it. It was fun, but we normally do it as a family. As nice as the time was, alone takes a very long time.
Well, theres our visit in a nutshell. There are more photos on flickr of course if you care to check those out. Hope you all had a happy Christmas. Now its time to celebrate the New Year!

My mom brought what she said was going to be my birthday present. She told me to close my eyes while she set it up so I got the full effect. This is what I opened my eyes to:

What? You dont understand the full effect? Whats the big deal about that?

IT TURNS! And its hard to tell here but it lights up! In a rainbow of colors.

Isnt this the best present ever? I might have to put it in my office.

So, I had all the intention in the world to share with you all everyday all the fun filled activities that I did with my parents this past week. The days were so fun filled that there was little time or energy in the evening to post about it. Though I did post the photos from each day before moving onto the next. Usually if Im not over here blogging, Im uploading on flickr, which is part of the reason I started to post photo of the day here. All of that is beside the point of this blog post, which is to share with you the past fun filled days with my parents!

Day 2: Biltmore! SO. GREAT. I mean, I didn’t think it wasn’t going to be great, I just really enjoyed it. My parents loved the gardens (the was a game all week – pointing out flowers and their names and origins…). We took the behind the scenes tour, which was great. See, I cant stop saying great. If you haven’t been to the Biltmore, go!

Day 3: After a long but really fun day in Ashville, we took it easy and stuck around town exploring the parks. It was neat to explore places I had been too but haven’t really taken the time to get to know. Id love to go back and just sit in those parks, taking photos, reading or people watching. My dad was very much into getting to know the history of the Guilford Courthouse Park – which actually was neat. Love the history my city holds.

Day 4: We hung out in downtown for a little bit, bought some gifts for people back home. Then headed over to Replacements, LTD and checked out all the amazing dishes they have. Dad took a little nap in a chair while mom and I explored. I got a neat old coffee pot which I will have to take a photo and post. I hope to find more information on it sometime. I cant believe that is only 2% of their inventory. 2%! We later went to Mike and Kari’s for good old fashion North Carolina BBQ. It was so good as always and it was fun to introduce my parents to my friends here.

All and all it was a really good time that went by really fast. It was sad to see them go, which talking with friends who lives states away from their family whom they are close to never gets easy to leave. Im trying not end on a sad note, but its hard since they left early this morning. Im so thankful that I was able to show them my new city and why I love it here.

They actually landed last night, but we just had a few salads and a late night of walking around downtown. I didn’t bring my photos for the tour of downtown sadly. Today we went to church this morning to which my parent got introduced to many people. Fun to show them off, feel like I know a lot of people when I really don’t. After church I drove my parents around town showing them some nice houses that were twice as big as their home and half the price. They just might think of moving here after seeing that (not really but thought about it). Then we went to a Grasshoppers game and then got some desert at the Melting Pot. Enjoy some photos from the game!

My parents are coming tomorrow! And there is a 20-30% its going to rain a few days while they’re here. That’s not my idea of a good time, but Im gonna look on the bright side that it wont be too warm for them. Im looking forward to being a tourist around town. Showing them my town and my favorite places and people that make me love it here. Also checking out those restaurants and places I just haven’t checked out becasue I do live here, now I really have an excusable reason.

Scott made me a few years ago Ed on DVD. For whatever lame-crazy reason NBC wont release Ed on DVD. I have made up with they them a little since bringing into my life, The Office. Last few days Ive been watching Ed while Ive been home getting ready for my parents to come. Why is it they always cancel the best shows? I mean, Ed had a great few seasons and the story really couldn’t go on forever, but of course we all wish we it could. Ive missed Mike and Nancy, Carol, Molly, Warren, Phil and of course, Ed. Im a sucker for a show in a small town I guess. Just really been enjoying Ed now that Gilmore Girls are gone (forever) and Office is gone for the summer.

Summer is officially here. I went to a graduation. Humidity is a live and well. The bright crisp colors of spring have toned down a bit. I hope this summer will be good, by that I mean, zero car issues. Im all for a tune up or oil change but no more of this leaving me on the side of many of roads like Gwen did last summer. Jason and my three year anniversary will be coming up soon too. With my parents coming, all planning has been focused on that, so we haven’t really talked about what we want to do to celebrate. Surprisingly, Im happy summer is here and look forward to what it might bring.

He spent another night in the hospital last night but came home today! During his trip he got 2 x-rays, fluid therapy, and an iv. They know something is wrong with his liver but not sure what (which you isn’t completely comforting). He was sent home with three prescriptions to take along with prescription food. My mom hopes he likes it, but if not she’s sure Rizzo, our other cat will like it. Apparently while Oreo was away Rizzo was taking his spots on the bed and being more cuddly – wanting to be an only syndrome maybe? Oreo is apparently sleeping off his drugs from the hospital on a pillow on the couch. Thanks to you who was concerned and prayed for the little guy. Really hope the machine he’s on heals his little liver. (And one more photo for good measure).

Heres the deal, I feel silly posting this, but at the same time I feel sad. My mom just called me and you know a conversation is never good when it starts “not to alarm you but…”. Oreo, my kitty, is in the hospital right now. He’s been moping around the house for a week or so my mom told me last we talked. Cats do that though, it wasn’t anything to really think twice about, you know? Apparently he moped enough to alarm my parents to take Oreo to the doctor. They have done blood work, urine test and x-rays. They think something effect his liver or kidney, my mom didn’t remember all the facts (she must be upset too). She wanted to know how big of a wedding I want someday since the budget has a little bit of a dent in it. Apparently Oreo is dehydrated so they are giving him lots of fluids and think he’ll recover. Still, this makes me sad and worried for the little guy. All I want to do is hug my kitty and hear his little meow (that is always more of a conversation than simple word). Please pray for Oreo, he’s only 8 years old and its sad to hear he’s sick.

Not sure how to feel about this warmish weather we seem to be having here. I thought I was going to get on a plane in a few days glad to be leaving the chilly weather behind. Seems as though I will be trading one warm sky for another, just on different coasts.

Jason and I seem to have a full week ahead of us in California. It includes but is not limited to: lots of family time (including extended family Jason has not yet met), birthday dinner (my mom makes it every year for me…hmmm), WB Tour (ie GILMORE GIRLS SET! No, Im not excited AT ALL), eating at Food network guys restaurant (who again, Jace?), Hollywood walk of fame, checking out Christmas lights and watching Oreo play in the tissue of opened presents.

And yet, it doesn’t feel like I’m really getting on a plane in a few days.

Beneath my shying away from the cold wet rain, I wish I could stand in the middle of street with my arms stretched wide open. The practical side of who I am takes over, not wanting to deal with the consequences of wet clothing or hair. Instead I dash from shelter to shelter avoiding the rain that I love. At what point in life do we stop being that girl who wants to dance around in the rain, without a care in the world to the women who seems to always have an umbrella in the car? Sure it’s not an overnight thing, more so a gradual process of trading those childlike things for adulthood.

I’ve been thinking about growing up a lot lately. The sermon on Sunday was geared towards parents. Sitting in my seat wondering if Id remember this Sunday someday when I have kids of my own. Wondering if I really could simply just tell my parents how I thought they could make better parents. This past week, no reason in particular I’ve been missing my family greatly (so much in fact that a country song about a father and daughter made me cry). Anyone knows that their parents are humans so they will screw up in parenting. That is something else I realized I traded when becoming an adult. I no longer solely saw my parents as these two people who would never let me down. Children should have that idea and comfort in their parents. But the older I’ve become it would almost be too great of an expectation to place on my parents expecting them to be same as they were to me as a child. They will not say the right things or do the right things every single time. Even so, I will still turn to them for advice on life because of the trust they have built in my relationship with them.

Officially, we are adults at age 18. Do our parents (or to many of my friends, as parents) have only that short of time to help form who we will be when we are no longer under their care? That really is a very short amount of time, I never really thought about how short of time that is. Just thinking back on how the early 90s don’t seem that long ago to me, but it was almost twenty years ago. I believe parenting doesn’t ever really stop, but the most dominate time of influence you have your childs life is those first 18 years or so. 18 they start to go off to college or find themselves as an adult (I was the ladder). The role of the parents doesn’t lessen, rather, changes roles. My parents are still my parents, but I turn to them for different things than I did even a year ago. Those small windows of time have different seasons of your child being a small baby to toddler to a 5 year old going on 30 to a teenager and so on. All of those times seem to pass by in a blink of an eye (so Ive been told) and during those times of savoring this blessing you are to train up your child in hopes you can give them all you want to offer them.

To all the parents out there, kudos to you. To those of you trying to start a family, you are so brave. To parents of grown children, we still carry a part of the small little one you still think of us as, even if our mask looks like an adult. To my parents, thanks for the love and support I know I have to still grown up in.

This afternoon I told my mom about my exciting adventure in the ditch. She gave me a little sympathy because of all the crazy car trouble I’ve seem to be having since moving here (she believes its a sigh I should come back). The last part of our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: “Before getting stuck in the muddy ditch, I pulled over to take a picture of, what I called a spaceship-looking-farm building. Apparently its not common around here to not know what that’s called.”

Mom: “You mean a silo?”

Me: “Yes! Why did I not know what it was called?”

Mom: “There’s no way your blaming this on me.”

Me: “Well, its not like we lived anywhere that had them or anything.”

Mom: “Remember your Fisher Price farm with the little people?”

Me: “Like when I was in preschool?”

Mom: “Yeah. It had a silo on it and I remember you asking what it was and told you.”

Me: “I was like, 3? 4? MAYBE 5?”

Mom: “I just know at some point in your life I told you what it was. Its not the parents fault is all I’m saying.”

Blown headgasket is apparently what is wrong with Gwen. I’m glad they know whats wrong and gonna fix it. Not so glad that they’ve had my car two days now and I wont get her back till Monday or Tuesday. I asked for a rental car, but Eddie (my Honda contact here) cant get the okay to give me one till Monday morning. Goodie.

I’m in search of a tall bookshelves to put my many books that are still in boxes. Its one of the most unsettling feelings, living in boxes. Which doesn’t help bring the “this is home” feeling I’m wanting to come sooner than I should. But I know an organized room fully displayed with the comfort of familiar nick naks and friendly books would help. Hopefully tomorrow I can fine one and start making headway of getting boxes out of my life.

Had a little moment this afternoon. My mom called just to check in and see how things where going. I don’t know what I haven’t called my parents more but it made sense when I got off the phone. I miss them. A lot. I just stared out the car window as Jason and I drove down Wendover to try and control my sad thoughts. Jason asked what was wrong and I didn’t want to answer. But he just knew and asked “Do you miss your mom?” and I started crying. I didn’t realize how much I did till that moment but I do. I did my normal, “there are worst things going on, I shouldn’t be sad over this” routine. He only reassured me its okay to be sad over it and not to beat myself up over it.

I’ve gotten to hang out with some friends over the past couple of days. Kari and I spent the evening together braving the nasty storm we had last night. Apparently out here, a summer storm as they call it, which is 13 inches of rain that’s very heavy with hail, thunder and lighting is normal. Something else for me to get used to I guess. We had some great conversation over Barns and Noble, soup and Kari knitting. Then tonight Jace and I met up with an old friend of mine, Joe, from Newbury Park. I hadn’t seen the guy in like 5 years so it was great to catch up with him on his way home from the golf tour. Jason and him got to take turns picking on me all night over Mexican food and Buster’s ice cream. Delightful past couple of nights with friends that brought me comfort when I needed it.

Tomorrow I’m going to church at Grace to feel it out one more time. Hopefully start getting involved in the Jr High group and get to know those new 7th graders over the summer. I’m hoping to find a sense of community there, which I know I need and going to put myself out there sooner rather than later. Always scary though, meeting new people and going through the process of hoping they accept me for me. And growing older, trying not to close other people out due to past hurts in friendships, which I think is the bigger battle for me. My prayer is to really have open eyes and heart to what God has for me, as rocky as it has started, new season of my life.

I bought two balls of yarn on Sunday. I cant believe I bought two balls of yarn. Two more things I have to move right? But what really is two balls of yarn? I can put them in an air tight bag and they really are nothing. Plus they are so pretty, pink and brown. I’ll just be mad if I find them in Yarns, Etc in Greensboro.

My little brother is currently in the process of moving out for the first time. I have extended my help by sharing all the boxes I have brought home from work for myself. He doesn’t seem to have the same order of packing as I do. As in, he hasn’t put a single thing in a box to move yet. Sadly, in this decision to move out and sign a lease with a friend, he cant go travel with his band. He needs to keep his job, so he cant go on the road, so he had to quit the band and be a grown up. Lots of change at once going on for him. I hope he at least says good-bye before I leave the state.

One of my cats who is particular fond of me, Rizzo, has been having this problem of spraying areas of the house (yeah, ew). My mom says its because I’m moving and he’s upset. I reminder her that he does not know I am leaving, only that “his room” is full of boxes. In which my mom replies, same thing, his world is being turned upside down. I’m going to miss Oreo and Rizzo very much, despite the waking me up way too early or things of that nature.

I’m having to miss my 8th graders get promoted into high school. I will be somewhere in Texas during that time. I asked Hayley to call me so I can be on speaker phone when I hear my girls names called. They have been a very fun but challenging class over the past two years. At first, shy 7th graders who turned into loud, I don’t care what you think 8th graders. But I love them and their sweet hearts and amazing women I know they are starting to be.

Alright, before I get too emotional I’m just going to remind yall of my moving blog (which some can argue this entry should be on) since it seems many of you don’t know of it. www.ventiadventures.blogspot.com I got it mainly for when Carla and I are on the road, they have a cool audio blog option. So while I’m on the road that will be the best way to keep in the know of my life.

Apparently I have now have a reputation to take photos of the things I cook. I don’t cook as often as I wish so maybe I’m a little to proud of when something turns out really good. Like my Easter dinner I cooked for my family last night. My most prized piece was the tart that I was worried during the filling making part I had somehow screwed up. But I didn’t and it turned out wonderfully. I’m eating a leftover piece of it as I type. You just get to enjoy a picture (the rest of the Easter dinner can be found at flickr .)

Apparently the weather reads my blog. It rained today instead of being sunny, even though I did say Easter afternoon is when I was going to spend time in the sun with a book. Still was enjoying this lovely weather but of course it rained on my sunny parade (pun intended).

I wrote my last post to turn to my frustrations (there was a pile of them last night, some still remain) to something no so consequential (or something that cant flight back). I read my current book “Cooking with Mr. Latte” to cheer myself up a bit. My mom asked if Id cook Easter dinner since she has to work I don’t. I’d said I would. Discussing the menu last night turned into a very frustrating conversation that had me close to just not wanting to do it at all (Lovely attitude, I know). As silly as this is, the book helped take me to a better cooking place. Love the comfort that books can bring me; even in the smallest ways.

On my way to work this morning I put in Andrew Peterson’s news offering “Appendix A” (demos and remixes and live songs). It started off with one my favorite of his songs “Land of the Free” and when it gets to the part of the song where it goes “because I’m feeling pretty good in Tennessee” then it brakes off to clips of different recordings of Andy singing the different towns he had played that song live in. He said “becasue Im feeling pretty good in Tuscaloosa” and tears swelled up in my eyes. I’ve been missing what part of my heart calls home lately, more so the relationships I dearly miss. Just hearing the name had me on the edge of tears, bringing feelings forward I didn’t know I had. Then I went on to listen to “The Things About Airplanes” to which the line “I’m sitting next to this over dressed man but I only want to be sitting next to you” and I think about how I miss Jason. Then my thoughts carried to my dad had mention wanting to listen to this new cd (he’s Andrew Peterson’s newest biggest fan) and how he doesn’t get to take plane trips with his new job. His new job is different of course (whole sale vs retail) but it doesn’t seem to be liking it as much as any of us thought. And my mom had to get a part time job too because of the pay cut. I think of the changes my family has had to go through the past few months and how this are still adjusting. My mom probably would of been a bit more understanding with my suggestions of dinner items. Most of her arguments about not sticking to traditional dishes was the practicality of the costs and dishes. She’s more tired with a job on her feet all day, making it very different to come home to a well rested mom instead of the calm housewife. I’m in tears trying to pull myself together before I reach my parking lot having to head into work. But I’m thankful for the tears because I don’t know if I would known of my feelings without them. Lets just hope Andy doesn’t make me cry every time I listen to his cd or else I’m just gonna be a teary mess.

I remembering sitting in Red Lobster with my parents. I don’t believe we got lobster or why that was the restaurant I had chosen, but I remember what we talked about. My parents where giving me what has been known in the Christian circle as a “purity ring”. It was a small silver ring my mom and I had picked out at the Christian bookstore a few weeks back for this night. My mom had typed out on pretty paper a commitment to go along with the ring. The understand of what purity means in God’s eyes, what the symbol of this ring was to me and how it can be a helpful reminder to me. I was thirteen and three years away from the legal age (according to my parents) that I was allowed to entertain young men as boyfriends. Safer to get before me those silly week long or summer camp romantics turned into something real I suppose.

Getting a purity ring seemed to be the thing to do in my youth group. I remember being one or the first in my circle of friends. We had the same ring and it was a topic in the youth group. Our small group leader would ask us how we are sticking to our commitments, which for most of us was rather easy since we weren’t allowed to date. After the hype of it fell, I remember wanting a new ring. Not because I didn’t like the one I had or had changed my mind on this whole purity thing. With so many of my friends “into it” and having the same ring, some of what made it special was gone to me. I don’t remember when exactly, but I bought myself a new ring (my parents were only willing to pay for one that they thought was the first was still just as good) and sealed the deal again with a Frappuncino (I was like 14, the right age for drinking a Frappuncino). Somewhere over the years, I lost that ring I had bough, probably because it was a 6 and way too big for my finger but was that was the only size they had. So, in high school I searched again for the right size and a fitting ring for me. My original purity ring sat (and still sits) in my small jewelry box too small for my finger. It wasn’t till I was near the end of high school or out of it I found a circle of hearts I wanted as my third purity ring (sounds so wrong). It was again a little big, so it stayed on my middle finger to help not lose it. And I still to this day have it, but a couple of days ago it had to be taken off my finger.

This past week when I was at work in the afternoon I was doing a very common afternoon cleaning of the cold beverage station. Part of that is moving the blender, cleaning behind and under and the actual blender. Well, when I was putting the blender down from moving it, slammed down on my finger. I saw it happened but I didn’t feel anything but then my finger started to feel tighter. I realized my ring had caught the blow instead of my finger. But being not the most expensive ring, it smashed into a flat shape cutting off the flow to my finger. I started to pull it off and reshape it so it wouldn’t hurt, but it wouldn’t move. It started to hurt and turn my finger colors and panic started to come over me. I tell my manager what is happening and she says “just put butter on it and it will slide right off”. I put butter all over it, which didn’t make it budge at all. My finger,now covered in butter, has now turned to a dark shade of red/purple color. I ask my manger for something, anything to get this off my finger. She finally finds a pair of pliers and squished back into a circle shape and off my finger it came. One of my coworkers, totally oblivious to my panic asked why my finger was all red. His reply? “I hope it wasn’t a ring you really liked” I told him “Well, I did like the ring, but I like my finger more.”

So here I am once again without a purity ring. Wonder if workman’s comp covers such things?

Last night was a mix of emotions for me at youth group. Some parts of the leadership group have made me grown weary of even being a part of the group at all over this past year. A long over due meeting was held and lots of ideas shared. I felt feeling accomplished of it all and prayed the thoughts that were put down on paper would be followed through. I saw a week come and go and nothing. But last night there was a step forward in helping the leadership grow to help one another to care for the kids with support, encouragement and accountability. I hope it continues or else I can see the ministry just getting torn and us leaders holding onto threads again.

The kids just piled on top of my heart last night with heartache after heartache they are going through. Just seemed to come all last night. Like finally, they these group of girls feel close enough to Hayley and I to share their struggles, their sadness, their real stuff. Not that hadn’t at all before, but it would be like pulling teeth to get them to talk about anything deeper than “Jesus bible God”. We wanted these girls to think for themselves instead of the “right” church answer. To support them in their questioning of the faith they find themselves believing and hating all at the same time. Why would God let their families get ripped apart? Questions like those they almost seemed to afraid to say outloud. But if your new hair cut wasn’t up to their standard, they had no problem letting you know. What I love about them, bluntly honest when it comes down to it.

The stories of their last week lives they were sharing made me sad and angry. Sad because I wish I could do more to help them feel like someone cares about them. Angry because so many of their parents seem to take little interest in their own kids. I don’t say that flippantly. I say that as a constant stream of downward I have seen these girls go through this past year. I don’t view their parents like I do because of the kids point of view. In fact, their personal struggles never mention their parents. To me, the lack of care given to these kids is right where I see a parents love and support to step in. I guess I’m tainted having grown up in a house with parents who love each other, love my brother and I no matter what. Not to say its an easy thing to raise kid (especially some of the kids in my youth group) but you have the kids, lets try to do best you can.

I’ve been having a constant theme ringing in my ears this past week of being selfless. Looking to others needs before your own. In church, in my relationship with Jason, with my family and the kids. So to me, the first gut reaction to hearing the pains of my girls stories was “Why are their parents so selfish?” I know a lot of these kids comes from broken homes and so their parents are going through a lot of stuff themselves they have to deal with. But that doesn’t mean they can toss aside the needs of their kids. I don’t know if I even have right to say any of this not being a mother myself. I cant being to understand what a parent goes through and I’m not claiming to. For a handful of my friends, lives right now is babies. They share this love they never understood before. So between my not so screwed up family and friends sharing deep love towards their children, I cant find the missing connection for my youth group girls.

So its been a very cold day here at my house. This big storm that was going to come this weekend is here today. Its really dark and wet outside. At the moment its not raining but clouds are still very present. Today is also the day we got our carpets clean! To get them to dry quicker we have all the doors open. All the while this is happening, I am trapped in the kitchen in hardwood floor land. I did not prepare for the weather conditions of the kitchen so I was quite cold most of the morning. Now my mom has closed all the doors and said the heater might help it dry quicker. Oh how I wish that was thought of earlier.

As you can probably tell, I’m not finishing my weekend stories from last weekend. The moment has really come and gone. We had a girls sleepover. We TPed two houses, a boy they swear none of them likes (sure…) and the youth pastor’s newly purchased house. There was very little sleep and lots of junk food. Good times where had by all (mostly). This past weekend was not busy at all compared to last weekend. It was more of a winding show sort of weekend which is good after a week that flew by without warning.

I may complain about the cold and the rain today, but I really do like this weather. San Diego needs some rain badly I’ve heard. But its been a little too toasty for February for me. Now everyone has to wear socks again to keep warm and a nice warm jacket. Drink a hot drink and some soup to warm up the insides. Perfect reading and writing day, which is exactly what I want to do on my day off.

Couple of weeks ago my dad held up two tickets to a concert asking “Want to go on a date with me?” We used to have breakfast dates a lot when I was in high school. We’d get up really early before he had to go to work or I had to go to school and head over to Denny’s. Looking at the tickets more closely I saw they were to a Phil Keaggy concert at our church. I told Jason later that my dad was taking me on a date to see Phil Keaggy and Jason’s reply was simply “Your dad can take me on a date.”

The concert was this past Friday and this past week I had gotten on a knitting kick again. This happened after I realized how much yarn I actually had in my knitting draw that I had not used. Plus, there’s a new yarn store I really want to visit but I cant bring myself to buy more yarn knowing how much I have at home. So, if I work on projects, using up my yarn at home I can justified buying more yarn (Do you follow me there? You girls know what I mean, right?). I was torn on weather to bring my knitting with me or not to the concert. I asked a few friends if they thought bringing knitting to a concert would be okay. In this circle of friends, Phil is the man. There is much respect for this great musician to who’s music I would apparently be disrespecting if I worked on knitting at his show. Their telling me that I shouldn’t only egged me on to bring my knitting, and so I did.

(Photo: What I completed durning the show.)

Yesterday, at a neighborhood Superbowl Party (to which I brought fresh salsa I made. I love fresh salsa and besides the smell of onions on my hands, I don’t know why I don’t make it more often)

I brought my knitting without really a second thought. After bringing it to a concert, what’s a football game, right? And so I did and there was much rejoicing… over the scarf not that the Steelers one. The gals that where their made comments during my progress “Oh that’s pretty yarn” or “Wow, that’s getting long!”. I think coming out with a scarf from a super bowl party is quite an accomplishment.

All of this to say, do not judge a women and her knitting. And if you do, watch for wrath of her needles.

(Also, there are photos from leader’s dinner in san diego a few weeks back and others on my flickr home page)

So I called my Grandma yesterday to tell her about my car and seeing if coming up on Thursday or Friday to knit with her would work. My Uncle, who is staying with her, told me that she had just stepped into the shower but he’d let her know I called. This afternoon I get a phone call back from my Grandma (a bit later than I had thought, I didn’t realize she was such a busy lady!) and told her about my car (she was very excited about the color). I asked her if shed like me to come up on said days. Her reply was “What about next week?” Next week? You cant squeeze me in your schedule before next week? I told her I didn’t have my work schedule for next week yet so I didn’t know. She said to call her when I did know. I got off the phone laughing a little that my 87 year old Grandma was too busy for me. Lets hope her and my schedule fit together next week.