Tonight we took communion, making me think of Christ’s death as I sang about his birth. The two stories are both so important in so many different ways. Tonight though, I think of his birth, not the happy picture a lot times we paint, but what really what went down that night in Bethlehem.

It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David’s town

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

by Andrew Peterson

Taking a short break (well, a long break I guess you could say) from my list of favorites to tell you about something that I find important.

Heard of World Vision? Maybe you have, maybe you havnt. I had heard of this organization before, but simply sound-bites from friends. I learned a lot about World Vision a lot this past week thanks for an exhibit called When I first heard of this event I was super excited. Just the idea of learning of the stories of four children and being a sponsor myself (through Compassion, but still a sponsor). Of course I jumped at the chance and told my church who also thinks very highly of World Vision. Im going to try and explain what this exhibit is and all about. I dont feel I do a very good job at describing it, so bare with me. Its an exhibit set up to tell stories for four different kids who live in Africa whos lives have been effected by AIDS. Now, I dont know much about AIDS. I probably should be more educate that I am. Thanks to World Vision, Im a step in the right direction to learn much more about it. My first experience was when I volunteered to help run the exhibit. The staff at World Vision wants all its volunteers to experience what they are helping be apart of. You are given an orange iPod shuffle and instructions by the narrator whos in your ears to become a child. The narrator tells you took the door with your name (the child you have been asked to become) on it. The first story I walked through was Babirye. She was my favorite of them all, since I got the chance to walk through them all over the weekend. Maybe it was Babirye beautiful face that I saw the moment I pulled the curtain to the first room. I listened to her story, how she is part of a twin set and of her sick mother. Alone, I walked through rooms that showed Babirye home, country, her clothes through photos and props. Some props matching what I saw in the photos. Next, I sat in the health clinic, waiting for my turn to find out wether I (B—) had AIDs. This was the only part of the exhibit where I was with other people. I place my hand out to get stamped and down came a red cross. I had the “big disease” and was asked to sit in the area of the clinic that was reserved for people who had AIDs. My heart feel for this little girl, who had suffered so much at such a young age. As much as it could at the moment, I let the heaviness of of Babirye story set in as I walked into the chapel. There were dozens of pictures, many who had passed away from AIDS. As I starred at the wall of children that people could support through World Vision, all effected by AIDs I wanted to grab all of their photos. I wanted to know every single one of their stories. As I walked out, putting my thoughts to process aside to volunteer, what I was there to do. I saw a lot of people come through the exhibit that I knew. One of my high schoolers parents came through and we talked a bit about the experience something was said that was sobering “The American church can not ignore this.” I could not agree more, but even now I cant tell you all that it means. Its a heavy statement but at the same time so very simple. How can the American church know about this and not set a side $35 dollars a month to send to a kid who doesnt have anything and we have more than enough? Why is it so hard to give up those thing we just cant give up for the sake of another? I dont have the answers, but Im thankful for the Step into Africa exhibit to be awareness to the church and the country. Im glad its raising questions and stirring hearts. I dont know where readers of this blog might be, but just in case Im posting the cities that this exhibit its going to be at with its dates. If its anywhere near you, make a point to go. Its free and open to the public, if its bit of a drive for you, stay and walk through more than one story, they about a half hour at the longest each. Its a really powerful and great experience that I highly recommend to everyone I know. Check it out.

9.6.08-9.14.08 Glen Ellyn IL
First Presbyterian Church of Glen Ellyn

9.12.08-9.15.08 Charlotte NC
St. Johns Episcopal Church

9.18.08-9.23.08
Turlock CA
New Life Christian Center

9.20.08-9.23.08
Jamestown NY
Jamestown Partnership

9.25.08-9.29.08
Dallas GA
West Ridge Church

9.30.08-10.3.08
Loveland CO
Crossroads Church

10.3.08-10.6.08
Sewickley PA
St. Stephens Church and Chippewa Evangelical Free Church

10.9.08-10.13.08
Ft. Collins CO
Colorado State University

10.10.08-10.13.08
Bethlehem PA
First Presbyterian Church of Bethlehem

10.18.08-10.20.08
Fargo ND
Atonement Lutheran Church

10.23.08-10.27.08
Chelmsford MA
Grace Community Church

10.24.08-10.27.08
Otsego MN
Elk River Community

10.31.08-11.3.08
Edina MN
Colonial Church of Edina and Christ Presbyterian Church

11.7.08-11.10.08
Cedar Falls IA
Orchard Hill Church

11.14.08-11.18.08
Bethpage NY
Shelter Rock Church & Arumdaum Presbyterian Church

11.20.08-11.24.08
Bellingham WA
Bellingham Initiative

12.4.08-12.8.08
Richland WA
Bethel Church

12.12.08-12.15.08
Redmond WA
Overlake Christian Church

514 had its first morning service today. It was wonderful to be back in the 514 community knowing it wasn’t becasue it was a holiday off from the youth. I meant to take a photo of it, so bare with me as I try and describe this. A friend of mine drew this amazing modern arty looking tree – or more so an outline of a tree and leaves, with falling leaves around it on a huge canvas of white paper. We (the community) were asked to come up and color in a leaf or part of the tree as the service was going on. Part of me wanted the tree to just be shades of green or fall colors, so I was surprised on my turn to color in part of the tree, to find a whole rainbow of colors. Our tree has blue, pink, purple, and other non-tree colors on it. It bothered my orderly side at first but by the end of the time of our community adding its own touch to it, I loved it. I cant wait to see it completely filled in and someday being on the wall of our own building.
This weekend has been filled of my heart and mind dealing with some things. It was wonderful to be in mist of a Christ-filled morning to help calm and comfort my thoughts. To be reminded that Jesus is bigger than anything and everything. There is so much meaning behind that, but for me, it reminded me of His power. And if I truly believe that He is bigger than it all, that power is stronger than anything. Also, Jimmy (my pastor) said something I just loved. He asked us “Has the gospel messed you up so much that you act differently?” I love looking it like that, the gospel should mess us up. It should tear us to pieces – thats how amazing and powerful it is.
Our Blocs (sort of our churches version of a small group, but they are not at all like any sort of small group you’d think of, so I hate even comparing it to that) had sign ups today, which went well. Im on the Bloc Leadership Team, and it was nice to see the kick off all our planning finally come together. Next week we are having a church wide baby shower for Kai (or more so his parents, Greg and Angie) who is the second 514 baby to come along (Emma being the first). We are having an old fashion picnic themed shower, which Im looking forward to. As much as my Sundays are going to be very full, I feel beyond blessed to be able to be apart of two things that hold my heart so much. I love being with the high schoolers, and I miss them when we take weeks off. But it was bittersweet since I got to be apart of this community who has grown very close to me over the past year. Now, I get the joy of being apart of both.

This weekend is Super Bowl Sunday. The youth group is meeting early so they can be out to watch the big game. I had to walk into John’s (my boss) office and ask who was even in the Super Bowl (Im a college ball girl, Go Tide!). Planning this week’s youth night has been a lot of fun. Maybe because I let myself get too stressed over the last one, this one is more fun for me. Im hopefully going to create the yard lines on the floor of the room and the end zone where John with teach from. I love stuff like this, which is one of the many reasons I love my job.

Thankfully, John isn’t going to be cheesy and teach about God being at the end zone or the game of life. He’s teaching, or more so explaining what Ash Wednesday is all about. I couldn’t believe its become Lent season already. In the mist of planning this Super Bowl Sunday night along with finding references to ashes in a media way, I’ve been trying to think about Lent. Beyond just what to give up, and more about sacrifice. Whatever I decide to give up for lent wont even begin to touch the sacrifice others make everyday. Or what Christ has done and continues to do for me. I probably would think until next years lent thinking of that if I was disciplined enough.

There’s the hope in me that I will keep perspective beyond my sacrifice. To regain the knowledge of others and Jesus’ sacrifice and take it into my daily life after lent has passed. I love how God works in the small things. Even though at times in this upcoming Lent season I know it wont feel small.

Been struggling this week with my season of church. It was such a hard decision to accept my job that I love knowing it meant I couldnt be at the church that I love on a weekly basis. Last week I cried durning the end of the service. I hadnt been there in a month and I deeply missed it. I know I see a lot of my church community outside of Sundays but it isnt the same. Im sure some people frown upon me not going to a Sunday morning service when I have the morning free to do so. The church I work at is massive and Id love to go to see how the chaos functions, but that really isnt the point of going now is it? The going to church part of my faith is about fellowships and worshiping with other believers. I feel as thought I do those things weekly it just looks completely different. I have to try harder, as in schedule in a time durning the week for an actual bible study. Its the only way I seem to make time for things I find important. So while my church life looks so different than it ever has before, I have the most peace in my life than Ive had in a long time. Its a sea of mixed feelings since I dont miss my church when Im in the mist of kids who I love being around. I missed the kids when I was on vacation for two weeks missing out on things like Christmas get together and last youth group night of 2007. Through it all, I know God has me here, otherwise I dont think Id feel this much peace about it all. Its reshaping my thoughts of church and what Ive known it to be.

“Just as I am, you rush in without a warning
I didn`t think that you would want to come to this place
and make it feel like a sunday morning. ”
-Sandra McCracken

“Look how pretty the sky is, Jason.”

He might be sick of me saying this. Whenever there is clouds after a rain storm or a wonderful sunset filling the sky full of colors like tonight, it makes me stop. Ive always loved the sky. Growing up in near the beach, I looked forward going away to camps to see the stars. Here in North Carolina, I think the sky is just clearer to see them, yet how often I forget to look up. Its evening like tonight I can help but be amazed at this huge sky. It helps me to be comforted in how big God is. Big sky. Big God. I dont know where that connection is made, but its a comforting thought to me.

My church was talking about living simply last night. This could be about a few couples getting together and buying bulk at Costco together. It could be about managing your time better. Could be about just being instead of being busy all the time. Simple isnt so simple to me. I think being simple takes a lot of planning which at times can be far from simple. Maybe it just takes practice for it to become simple. I have a stack of Real Simple magazines and time managing websites bookmark to help me to simple. But then I find myself managing my time, then not leaving room for the spirit to just be. Usually those simple things happened when they are unplanned. Do you plan to go love on your neighbor? Do you plan to help someone out in a time of need? I cant think of a time I have planned for those things to happen. They just do, in a wonderfully unplanned matter.

Last week I had a meeting at my new job and was given the history and low-down of the current state of the youth group. My friend and boss came from the same church to where we are now. We both felt that our past church was good about just being – but thats it. There was no vision most of the time because we kept waiting to be sure it was Jesus calling us to do this thing. Where at this church, theres a lot of doing and not much waiting. Is there a balance to all of that? Id like to fool you all that I find the happy medium ground between doing and waiting on God’s voice on things in my life. Truthfully, I dont. I want to be that very organized girl who has her time managed well and does thing God has told me to and doing it well. Most of the time I just do things I think God is saying to do but not out of waiting on Him. Do I take the time to simply ask? Sometimes but not all times. Not in the daily things. Because well that takes time which we seem to run short on a lot of times. Excuses that make a wall to keep me boxed into this westernized Christian culture that frustrates me to no end.

Maybe planning a day of just being. Wait, a day of rest. This isnt a new idea of course. Its what God did after creating the world. One of my favorite books talks all about taking time out of the week, to plan around that day, of resting. Hard is it for us to do that. Really hard. We are called to such a life as Christ followers though. We called to stop, be still and listen. Jesus isnt going to shout at us, as much as I wish he would most of the time. I do think the road down this life of being simple will be in small steps. Instead of great leaps I think we want to take. Its sorta madding how those steps are easy at first then get hard in the middle of the journey. Or to feel defeated in if a few steps are backwards rather than forward. Im thankful for a Savior who is there, with open arms at all times. In the celebrating times and in the hard times of this not so simple of life we have created for ourselves.

I just tracked my new Harvey Seat Belt bag and its on the truck. I should be receiving it today!

Clean floors. I spent most of the morning cleaning my floors and the crown modeling that goes along with my great old house. AND the cleaning supplies I used both came from the dollar store. Cheap and clean.

Lunch at Boba House today with my friend Kelly. Bubble tea! Great vegetarian food! Perfect summer treat. Oh Kelly brought me a hippo cookie at work last night, which was such a great surprise.

Refinding my church in California podcast. Im currently listening to the Women bible study series and my friend Jenna is sharing.

My roommate Dana is currently in Thailand and I love everytime I receive an email from her hearing about the work she is doing. She recently posted some photos and its so neat to see becasue I’ve been where she is.

My new friend, Greg let me borrow a really great lens of his to shot the wedding on Saturday giving me a little more confidence.

And started to reread some of my favorite Elisabeth Elliot books and thought Id share some quotes I partially like:

“Be still, and know that I am God.”If we have once shut up long enough to know this, we have, at least in that moment, been ready to obey. But it is the being still that is so hard for us. It often takes illness, loss, suffering of some kind, isolation and loneliness. Only when we have come to the end our own resources, when few distractions are left to us, does it become possible to be quiet.

The quality of our lives is transformed not only by our initial response to thirst but also by the daily answer of faith to whatever a day holds. If we have, perhaps through some small incident, come to a new knowledge of our own sin, we then recognize him as Savior. In our sorrow we learn that he is the Comforter. In perplexity he shows himself as our Counselor. Our weakness gives us occasion to call on him as the Might God, Strength, Fortress, Deliverer and Refuge.

Heres an interesting idea, meeting someone on the internet is like meeting Jesus. Now bare with me that you think I’m sorta crazy. Well, my handful of friends who I have met on the internet in some fashion who read this might not think I’m so far fetched (or maybe you do). The others of you who are thinking I’m off my rocker who do have a relationship with Jesus – have you met him? This thought process came from me listening to a sermon from my church back home and Mark asked the congregation to think what they believe it will be like to met Jesus. My train of thought went to, well I have conversations with him and close to him but I imagine that when we met it will be a much different sort of relationship, more intimate. Like meeting someone on the internet, you share emails and maybe even phone calls before meeting them. You know them but not the full extent you can know a person. Id have to think that God would allow such technology happen for reason only He really knows. I have made great friendships that started differently than a typical relationship does, just like ours with Jesus. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I thought it was an interesting connection my mind made. You are welcome to tell me Im crazy but I want proof why.

In the secret of His presence how my soul delights to hide.
Oh, how precious are the lessons which I learn at Jesus’ side.
Earthly cares can never vex me, neither trials lay me low;
For when Satan comes to tempt me, to the secret place I go,
To the secret place I go.

Would you like to know the sweetness of the secret of the Lord?
Go and hide beneath His shadow: this shall then be your reward;
And whene’er you leave the silence of that happy meeting place,
You must mind and bear the image of the Master in your face,
Of the Master in your face.

This song was written by a women name, Ellen Lakshmi Goreh. I know it well thanks to Sandra McCracken redoing the music and setting these lyrics that was originally a poem to a beautifully slow banjo piece. So many of these lines grab me, but today I just get lost in the whole song. “You hide them in the protection of Your presence” Psalm 31:20

Lately, I haven’t really missed home. Maybe that’s because I have June to look forward to with my parents coming for almost a week. But the other day my coworker, who also goes to the same church as I do, asked if I was going to the sunrise service. I gave a very quick, almost laughable response of “Oh no.” Whats really interesting about that to me is that for the past 5 years that I lived in California I did go to the sunrise service. My church is huge, 5 services huge, and the idea of getting most of us on a beach near by the church is really ridiculous but really great at the same time. We all buddled up in our sweats, blankets and grabbed chairs for the untraditional service. I saw folks I don’t normally get to see going to different services. The sound system would always go out in the middle of the sermon. Some seagull fly over head and poo on some poor person’s head. Last year towards the end of the service I tuned out as I watch whales swim past our little set up. I think even my pastor would of been distracted had he known what was taking place behind him. I missed that this year, even though I really enjoyed being at church today. Jason played music with a great group of people I’m getting to know and it sounded wonderful (even if I didn’t like most of the songs). The high schoolers just returned from a week in the Dominic Republic and was sharing about their time there (Jr High and High School in one room together). Rekindled that place in my heart for missions, and recalled in my mind of times in Thailand and Hungry years ago. I sat up in the balcony today and looked over the sea of people and smiled at the thought I knew more than dozen people whom I consider a friend and would say the same of me. It surprises me how much of a community I have been blessed with in such a short time at this church.

In a relationship, you have a pretty good chance of getting hurt. We may not mean too, but since we are sinners we are going to fail the other person in some way. Its when you become comfortable and vulnerable with someone that there’s really a chance to be hurt but if you never opened up in the first place it be hard to have a true relationship. Most of the time this hurts the most with the person you share a romantic relationship with. I know sometimes I find myself a little taken by how much Jason does know me. You really know the person, becasue you usually are most intimate with them. Sometimes they can hurt you with them just being, well them, and other times its to actually help.
The very things that person is trying to sharpen you with (though it takes time to know its actually sharping and not pointing things out that are wrong with you) is what Jesus saved me from. Jesus saved me from these bad things that makes up the ugly side of me. When I sin, I’m basically saying, I don’t need your sacrifice. That’s a hard thought to sallow, it really is. I think its something everyday I have to chose to believe and then act upon. I hope these Easter thoughts stay with me, as I learn to grow more in God’s grace that he showers over me more than I will ever understand.

Spring time seems to be approaching just as the groundhog said it would. It was a big chilly this morning, which is actually fine with me. I wouldn’t mind another snow before the leaves and flowers start to appear. Though I am looking forward getting back into the routine of walking, I miss that a lot in the cold.

Tomorrow will been a week into lent. It hasn’t been the longest week, but it hasn’t been the shortest ether. Interesting process I’m already seeing how lent has effected me. I didn’t think it would hit this soon I was giving up something. But then again, if I gave up something that didn’t effect much then what would really be the point, right?

I’ve been thinking about youth ministry and my role in it. Not how I was this time a year ago, doubting my place in it. The community that I have found myself in that really “Came in without notice and settle all around my heart. Took up residence in all the places
That were vacant and dark.” We’ve been talking about ashes (in relation to lent) with the idea of God bringing beauty from ashes. I love watching the kids heads spin as they keep thinking dead people when they see ashes to the amazing thing God has really done in their life. I was asked to “share my story” with the kids soon, so I will be working on that up to the Sunday I will have to speak. I cant think of a group of kids Id rather share my story with.

Today we talked about ashes and how Ash Wednesday is right around the corner. I didn’t grow up practicing lent, but I did know about it. Its not as though the churches my family attended through the years didn’t teach or celebrate lent, but I don’t remember giving anything up. I thought about taking part of Lent last year but didn’t commit to it past a mere thought. This year its more in the for front of my mind and have been thinking about what to give up for my first year of Lent. I know its traditionally a Catholic practice, but I wanted to reread one of my favorite books, Muddhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner this year. Nevermind its about what she misses about Judaism, I think it will be a good Lent book (though it will be hard for me to space it for 40 days). I know 40 days shows up a handful of times in the bible, but I always think of Noah when I hear 40 days. Maybe I should read and study Noah’s story again during lent as well. I’m looking forward to celebrating my first year of real Lent.

I love when God speaks really loudly to me. Or maybe its just I’m actually listening. I’ve been thinking a lot about community and art as of late. Those will be saved for another time of sharing but two things are near and dear to me right now. Art, as something I find to do alone as an expression of so many things. As part of worship or capturing a moment that you could no other way or simply making art for the beauty of it. Community, which to me is harder to describe. Its a scene of belonging, a safe place found in a group of people who have a common ground shared between them. Now to me, this what I think of when you pull these two things together, a photo blog shared between two women who live thousands of miles away from each other. Amazing photography mixed with the art of a friendship. I don’t know anything about these women other than what I just told you, but the idea is brilliant if you ask me. So check out their site 3191 (via Alissa .)

Nevermind the fact that my Advent calendar has Santa across the front of it, I’m trying to keep the purpose of it on Jesus and not forming a chocolate habit. (Though I bet you if chocolate was around in the days when Jesus walked the earth, He so would of had some.) Due to a last minute decision to see Tara Leigh into the late hours of Saturday night, I slept in. Meaning, I only made it to middle school group and not big church. I’m unsure if my new church does much for Advent but John teached out of Luke when Mary was spoken to by the Angel. John asked the kids to close their eyes while he read the verse again. They were to think of the feelings that would be going on in that room. Scared. Overwhelm. Shock. Amazement. Then John reminded them that Mary was a Jr. Higher when she was give the news about baby Jesus.

Next to the story of Adam and Eve, the Christmas story is one I really can never get tired of hearing or reading. I think mainly because the more I grow up, the more I learn from the women in those stories. This time of course being Mary. Lets look what she has going for her; she is unmarried and now pregnant in a culture where her rights are really, are none. She trusts in God’s promise to her and with Joseph goes to the town of David to give birth to this baby. Things are already been really tough for Mary, but now in this town where God told her to go, there are no inns for her to have the Son of God in. Poor girl cant catch a brake now can she? You’d think that God would open some doors for her, like on in a nice inn. Of course God knew better than us all, and Mary may never had this mind set. Though when I read this story, putting myself in her shoes, Id be wondering what the heck God was doing. At the same time, its comforting to know that God uses people who don’t have it all together. She was out of the norm (so it really seemed to everyone else she didn’t have it together) for her culture and no home to give birth to this baby in. Yet, God provided this setting for his Son to be born in. Makes me take a back the not all together parts of my life and if I look, really look, usually after the fact, God is using that for His greater glory.

After a long over due trip to Chapel Hill to visit Dawn and a quick walk on Franklin Street (that I did not know existed before yesterday) I drove home in the rain. I’m sure some folks around here thinks the cold and the rain is a little premature. It was perfect weather for the first day of September as some of the leaves start to turn sweet shades of yellow within the sea of greens. Dawn directed me to a smaller back country highway to avoid some nasty traffic on the 40. As I turned onto the highway I switched on my ipod and let it pick what soundtrack I should have for my drive on the 54. I was excited to take a new way back; another place to explore in my new state.

I’ve rediscovered the many things I love about the song “Let Go”. Its a perfect song to listen to while driving and raining. The commotion of the rain drops splashing against the windshield as a background bass almost to emotional songs, there are not many things like it. Classics in my book, such as “On Your Way” or “When You Come Back Down” where seen in a new light to me, driving songs (both about going somewhere). I never did get caught by Chris Mason’s second album as much as his first, but his song “Just Enough” reminded me of why I really do enjoy his work. Its also where the line for this entry’s title came from. “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” came on right when this red car was literally, holding up 15 cars (including myself) behind it. 54 is not the best highway to pass other cars on, with its curvy bends and hills to ride on. So for the entire song, this line of cars and I weaved between our lane trying to see our next move to mass slow poke. And the Decemberist write long songs, that one is no exception. 8 minutes. Somehow, I related to this song for a moment as I was stuck behind this line of traffic. “Tied to the Nineties” and “Mess” were fun upbeat songs to drive to, you need some of those in every mix. “Laugh Out Loud” was that familar song that I dont know why I dont listen to more often. “A Joyful Noise” was almost a slow dance song for the scenery that passed by too quickly. The farms and fields that tempted me to stop and take dozen of photos in the rain.

I couldn’t tell you of all the thoughts that those songs and I shared. It was really unplanned time that turned into a wonderful time of comfort and wonder of the glories around me. Usually I don’t think much of letting the shuffle button, but as each song came on, my thoughts just got further lost in the colors that painted my drive. Whether in the melodies or rain drops or dotted yellow lines, I soaked them all in. It was my sunday morning…

Let Go – Frou Frou
On Your Way – eastmountainsouth
Just Enough – Chris Mason
The Mariner’s Revenge Song – The Decemberists
Tied to the Nineties – Travis
Laugh Out Loud – Popular Genius
When You Come Back Down – Nickel Creek
A Joyful Noise – Glen Phillips
Mess – Ben Folds Five

I love the word, Creation. If I was that sort of person, Id name one of my kids that someday. But I’m not, so I simply will just state how much I like the word. It was rolling around in my head, what it means to me as I stared at the amazing moon we had tonight. This bright deep orange color; a harvest moon almost. The clouds looked like they were a lighting bolt through the moon, just a neat sight to keep me awake on my late night home tonight (first time closing my new store). Its very humid out tonight but yet I didn’t see any fireflies which I thought went hand in hand, I guess not. I’m glad I believe in a God who made such an amazing earth. That I have someone to talk to in thankfulness for all that He has made. Not only that but to know He made it for me, is truly amazing. Even if some of His creation I am not so thankful for (read: rule customers at work tonight) its the simple pleasures of creation, such as the moon, that can bring me back to the small things I forget so easily.

Yesterday at church, I found a verse that brought me comfort to the prayer of hope I’ve been wanting:
Ephesians 1:18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints..
Mind you, he wasn’t teaching on this verse or even passage but I have the bad habit of reading ahead of what we are actually studying while in church. But it was the confirmation I needed to know I wasn’t asking to much. More so, its the reminder that God has called me to such a place I desire to be. I really loved being in a service filled of familiar worship songs with good music accompanying it. A pastor who has a firey passion behind what he says and friends to sit beside to share it all with.

Update with the car, I asked Eddie on Saturday if I could get a rental car since he wanted to keep Gwen till Monday or Tuesday. I should of asked when I dropped her off, but this morning I got the good news that yes I do get a rental car. I’m so happy to hear this news, not having others have to drive me around taking them away from their days even though they are happy to do it. It will be a bit easier to get to know my new city with wheels to do so.

(there are more on my flickr)

Those are images of my daily drive around town (especially on my drive to work). As much as I love my town in the spring time with the mustard flowers and poppies popping up everywhere, I keep thinking back to the cherry blossoms in North Carolina. And the amazing colors the leaves turn and dance in the wind during the fall. Of course in exchange I will have the heat and the cold instead of my constant 70 degrees. But in the mist of piles and boxes, I feel like it all will be worth it.

There has been a bit more changes going on in my family, hopefully that will be for the better. My dad has accepted a new job with a whole sale nursery, which is more the speed he is used too. His retail job was just wearing on him and effecting our family extremely. Mom is still going to work for the time being, but I want to see how long it lasts. My brother is moving out with a couple friends of his June 1st. That means 12 whole days without him then I’m off and my parents will really be empty nested. At work, I’m going through the “Coffee Masters” program, learning even more about coffee. When I finish the program I get to wear a black apron is really the reason I’m doing it, tee hee.

So, I’m doing a little better these days, even if Id rather redo this year over again. That’s probably my main lack of posting, things seem to get a little better but then something will get me down again. I am thankful for the constant relationships in my life I can find comfort and support in. I only with I had more desire to see this hard time as a time to grow closer to Jesus. Where as I fear what He might want to teach me instead. But even still, I have people who point my straight back to Him with a gentle nudge. And then I have the others who are just simply there to listen to my tears and just let me be.