On Our Way To Crazy

3:00 pm – leave work early because I can barely hold my head up

5:00 pm – go to sleep

9:00 pm – wake up, starving

9:30 pm – eat two egg rolls, because I’m sick and I can do what I want

10:00 pm – watch lame tv

12:00 am – go back to sleep

3:45 am – wake up in a start because Miles is convinced someone is in the house and has propelled himself off the bed barking his fool head off

3:46 am – lay flat on my face and try to catch my breath and get my heart rate down

3:48 am – Miles starts whining at the foot of the bed because he can’t get back up (he’s still on the DL)

3:48:30 am – Miles comes to the side of the bed and tries to jump up

3:48:31 am – Miles only gets half of his little body onto the bed and proceeds to fall off, hitting his head on the nightstand on the way down

3:49 am – completely out of it, I go to pick Miles up and put him on the bed

3:49:02 am – not realizing his head is under the bed, I knock his head on the bed frame

3:50 am – I decide to use the restroom, since I’m already awake

3:50:05 am – not realizing Miles has jumped down again and followed me into the bathroom, I push the door closed behind me and it smacks him in the face

3:52 am – I pick Miles up and put him on the bed, this time taking care not to give him a fourth head injury in less than ten minutes

4:00 am – Miles is sound asleep. I am wide awake, composing this entry in my head and wondering if Miles did in fact hear someone outside the door.

4:01 am – I turn over so that if they break in, I’ll be ready for them