On Our Way To Crazy

As you may have noticed from my flickr page, we got Guitar Hero 3 for Christmas. Well, technically, Aaron did. We’ve played it several times – with our families, at a New Year’s party, with the youth group as part of my plan to turn them into an army of robots. But I’d never played it by myself.

A bit of a primer for those who may not have played before. In career mode, you name your band and play through the songs in order. Every four songs, you get to play an encore. If you succeed at playing the encore (usually a song much harder than the ones you’ve been playing), you move up in the music world – from a backyard party to a club, from shooting a music video to playing in a prison. On each level the songs get harder.

(I realize that the more I talk about this the more lame I sound. I wish I could say I am cooler than I am coming across, but that would be a lie.)

Guitar Hero 3 added a new twist to the career mode. Every few levels you have to battle. It’s like playing against the computer, if the computer is random guys from rock bands. I beat Tom Morello with no issues. He’s a wimp. A weenie. I smoked him with the guitar I bought that’s shaped like a leg.

But y’all? I cannot beat Slash. i just can’t. He’s too good. I hate him. The more I battle him, the worse I get. He is draining all my Guitar Hero powers, and also possibly my will to live.

I fear I will be stuck on this level forever, doomed to replay La Grange to the prison guys over and over for the rest of my life. My flippin’ sweet band, Lechuga, will never make it to the arena shows. There will be no Grammys, no breaking up over creative differences, no VH1 Behind the Music.

Poor Lechuga. Stupid Slash.