I just want to eat my damn salad. February 19, 2008
Dear fellow Baja Burrito patrons,
Baja is a small restaurant with a long line. The burritos and fish tacos and salads and fruit tea are definitely worth the wait. Clearly, you think so too, or you wouldn’t have brought your six kids to wait in a line that’s out the door on such a cold day.
But here’s the thing – all the people who are currently seated and eating will not be here all day. By the time you get through the line, most of them will have finished their lunch and left. So there is no reason for you to send your kids out ahead of you guys to hold a table while you wait in line.
Let me list all the ways your family is annoying to the rest of us.
One. Your kids aren’t old enough to take care of themselves once they sit down while you’re in line. So we have to listen to you yell across the restaurant at them to stop playing with the napkins, stop pouring salt on the table, stop stealing people’s chips.
Two. You didn’t ask them what they wanted and you don’t want to squash their individuality by ordering for them, so you get to the front of the line and start snapping your fingers to get your kids’ attention. “What do you want? Tacos? What? Do you want cheese? CHEESE? What? You want a quesadilla? QUESADILLA? Sit down! Do you want salsa on it? SALSA? Are you sure? It’s hot! HOT! *fans mouth to demonstrate* HOT! Sit down!”
Three. Some of us are in line ahead of you. Pretty far ahead of you. We have gone through the line, paid for our food, and are currently standing here with our trays full of burritos and salads and pineapple salsas. But there’s nowhere for us to go! Why? BECAUSE YOUR CHILDREN ARE EVERYWHERE. Sprawled across tables THAT DON’T HAVE ANY FOOD ON THEM because you are still at the back of the line.
Four. I don’t like your face. And I hate what you’re wearing.
Please. People. Just follow the rules. If you don’t want to wait in line with all your kids and take a chance on finding a table for you all to fit around, there’s a Wendy’s across the street. They have plenty of room. And I won’t have to sit outside because of you.
GAH.
Brandi
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Number 4 is my favorite. Hand’s down.
Four is awesome.
I mean, I get that having kids changes your life and everything, but it shouldn’t change mine. I hate it when parents assume we are all okay with being inconvenienced for their kids.
all i could think of while reading this was “Get off the shed!!”
i love 4 also, but i like 2 the best. what is it with parents and the yelling out orders across the restaurant? is it really that inconvenient to WRITE DOWN THEIR ORDER or KNOW YOUR OWN CHILDREN WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT?
I wish they had tried to steal YOUR chips.
Three is my favorite because of the sheer absurdity of it all.
One of our favorite restaurants here, Taqueria del Sol, has a strict “no saving seats” policy for just that reason. They’ve even got a huge sign that says don’t do it. But people try to anyway (and they always get all mad and huffy when the staff politely points to the sign and asks them to get up).
Joe. What is get off the shed?
Kari, I wish they had been stealing my chips, too, because that would have meant I was sitting at a table eating my lunch. Which I was not.
Being a mom I can see both sides. Sometimes I have left restaurants early with my kids because they were being obnoxious and I wanted the other people their to eat in peace. And there have been other days when I just need to be out because I can’t handle lunch and the boys. But with six kids I’m thinking a place that has a playground might be more beneficial. If you guys ever have kids you will see sometimes it’s not that easy.
“Hey, why don’t you be a buddy and GET OFF…. THE SHED!”
I hope as our kids get older we don’t embarrass ourselves in public. I’m sure we will at some time.
If they had been stealing your chips, you would have given them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Oh I needed to read this today. So funny yet so frustrating. I read your blog via Trim and Fashionable. I read about your love for Texas Football aka FNL. Send NBC an e-mail because they are bound and determined to not bring it back for another season. *sighs* I love that show and it was just getting really good.
oh, so I just realized that I didn’t answer your question.
http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/766/SNL-_Get_Off_the_Shed
that’s the only place i could find the video.
will ferrell actually did this for his SNL audition. you can see it on his best of dvd.