On Our Way To Crazy

Sorry to write the third concert-related post in a row, but I have to tell y’all this story. It is insane.

Monday night, as part of GMA week, we got passes to go see Jars of Clay and Switchfoot. Jars of Clay is one of my most favoritest bands, so I was pretty excited. Switchfoot I could take or leave… I like a lot of their stuff, and the show was good, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them again.

(Third Day was on the show, too, but as I am pretty sure they don’t only play songs from their first two albums in their shows, I wasn’t too interested.)

The show was at the Wildhorse Saloon, which is this huge country bar place that has a giant dance floor with tables all around. We were standing on the left side of the floor, kind of near the edge. Jars of Clay came out and put on a pretty good show… they did a lot of new stuff, which I liked a lot, but they seemed kind of out of it and it was weird to see them in an opening spot.

So then Switchfoot comes out, and everything is all fine and good, they’re doing fun songs and the crowd is really into it and Jon Foreman touched Julie’s hand. We are in roughly the same spot, and there is a table kind of behind us. At that table is a guy we’ll call Big Crazy Dude.

Now I am assuming, as a general rule, that you have been to a concert before. You are aware of the fact that, especially in a general admission show, people move around. They shift and adjust and the people you start out next to are probably not the people you’ll end up next to. It’s just how it goes. It’s live music – people clap and bounce and dance a little. It’s not a motionless event.

I don’t think Big Crazy Dude was aware of that. Clearly this was his first concert, and possibly his first time out in public. About halfway through Switchfoot’s set, Aaron gets a push in the back. He turns around, and the conversation goes like this:

Aaron: What?
BCD: Get out of the way.
Aaron: Huh?
BCD: You’ve been moving in front of us for three songs.
Aaron: Are you serious? *looks around* Where am I supposed to go?
BCD: I already asked you nicely.
Aaron: What? It’s a concert, man. People move.

So he turns around and we exchange that ‘what is up with this guy?’ look with each other and with the people around us. A few minutes later, and I swear I am not making this up, BCD comes up around the side of Aaron and stands directly in front of him. As in, it would not surprise me if he was standing on Aaron’s toes. Now, Aaron is a big guy, and this guy easily had six inches on him in all directions. And he is literally standing right in front of him. The conversation goes like this:

Aaron: Dude, what are you doing?
BCD: I asked you to move.
Aaron: Are you serious?
BCD: You kept sliding over in front of us until we couldn’t see.
Aaron: It’s a CONCERT. With music. That people move to. What did you expect?
BCD: I asked you nicely to move and you didn’t. You brought this on yourself.

Sidenote: This guy was easily in his late thirties and was wearing a Third Day t-shirt with a Bible verse on the back. Also, around this time in the show Jon Foreman started moving out into the crowd and BCD started rotating AROUND Aaron to stay in his line of vision.

Aaron: You can’t come in here and sit at a table and expect to have a perfect view.
BCD: You got in my way, now I’m getting in your way.
Brandi: *laughing* Is this a joke?
BCD: Nope. Just giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Brandi: Right. Because that is totally what Jesus would do.

At this point Aaron turned around and took the stool BCD had been sitting on and sat down. BCD was just about sitting in his lap.

Aaron: Hey, man, you’re right. I’m sorry I came to a show to see a band I like. I’m sorry I didn’t stand still through all the songs. I’m sorry I sought you out and deliberately stood directly in front of you. I’m such a jerk. You have taught me a valuable lesson.
BCD: Funny.

It went on like that for a while. Clearly BCD had no intentions of leaving. It was insane. All the people around us were moving and shifting and trying to give Aaron a better view. The girl in front of me told BCD that she teaches 5th graders and they behave better than he did.

Then they started singing Radiohead’s “High and Dry”. Aaron taps BCD on the shoulder.

Aaron: Hey man, do you know this song?
BCD: No.
Aaron: Really? Is it because it’s not by Third Day?
BCD: What?
Aaron: It’s by a band called Radiohead. You should check them out.
BCD: Whatever.

That’s right, y’all. Aaron decides that the way to win this battle is with MUSIC SNOBBERY. Genius.

No lie, BCD stood directly in front of Aaron for at least 30 minutes. He finally started moving back around the table when Switchfoot finished their set… but then they came out for an encore. And he came back! You guys! He came back! It was so awesome. He was determined to make Aaron miss Switchfoot’s set, and he would not rest until he did it. Insane.

We left when the encore was over, and Aaron gave him a nice “Enjoy Third Day” on the way out. Neither he nor his wife looked at us when we walked by.

It was one of the most crazy things I have ever seen. Seriously! Who does that? Is this typical behavior from Third Day fans? Christian music fans? GMA attendees? Nashville tourists? I have no idea. But let me warn all of those people… don’t mess with Aaron. He will break you down with his music knowledge. I know you’re scared.

Oh my gosh, you guys. YOU GUYS. I am going to say this, and it is going to sound a little extreme, but it is absolutely true: Yesterday was one of the very best days I have ever had. Seriously.

Yesterday morning was a great one for the youth. We had four kids get baptized yesterday. Four! It was crazy. Over the last few weeks they all approached me separately to talk about it and it all came together yesterday. It was really special – just knowing these kids’ stories and how they got to where they are… it was a big thing, y’all.

(Also, and it feels weird to even type this but I wanted to get it in print for the days that really really suck – our senior pastor told the WHOLE CHURCH yesterday morning that I am one of the best things about GracePointe. He was probably just trying to be nice, but still. Whoa.)

Yesterday afternoon Aaron had a lot of errands to run, so I was on my own. It was an amazing beautiful day, and I spent about three hours laying on a blanket outside reading. Fabulous.

Yesterday evening was a really big one for us, Aaron in particular. This week is a big industry week for him, full of conferences and lunches and showcases and meetings. A couple of months ago, in preparation, he was trying to figure out the best way to showcase his two bands, Remedy Drive and Jackson Waters. Their labels weren’t putting anything together, so Aaron decided to just do it himself. He got himself a sponsor, a club, some supporting acts and a fancy invitation and before we knew it, we were putting on a show.

I don’t know that I can make it clear how big of a deal this was for Aaron. It was like a coming out party for his company. He started this business for these two bands, and last night was his first opportunity to show people what he’s got. Failure wasn’t really an option.

As it got closer, Aaron was getting visibly more nervous. All of our conversations centered around it. How many people would come? Did we remember to invite everyone? What songs should they do? Do we open the bar? Charge admission? How long should the sets be? WHAT IF NO ONE COMES?!!?!?!

Last week Aaron had taken to saying that 75-100 people would be awesome. The club is split into two levels, and that number would fill the bottom half really well. It’s important for the place to feel full, you know? So that was kind of the plan… block off the stairs and fill up the bottom level.

Y’all. When I got there at 8:30 (the show started at 9), there were easily 100 people there. By the time Remedy Drive went onstage, there were 250. When Jackson Waters went on, there were people everywhere. Both levels full, every stool taken, the stairs packed with people. They were spilling out into the courtyard and the bar area. There were people EVERYWHERE.

Who are these people? Where did they come from? How did they know about the show? I have no idea. There were about 20 of our friends there, plus the label people and some festival and booking people. But seriously, between the two of us, we maybe knew 100 of those people. I don’t know who everyone else was or where they came from, but they were there in droves. It was unreal.

It was such a huge night for Aaron. It could not have been bigger or more successful. Both of his bands put on amazing shows and there were tons of people there to see them. I have never been so proud as I was last night watching lines of people wait to talk to him after the show. It’s like he (and his company) are legitimate now, if that makes any sense. He went out on his own, he has two great bands, and he put on a great showcase. Because he is awesome.

Last week we drove to Murray, Kentucky to see Ben Folds at Murray State University.

First thing first – do not go to Murray, Kentucky unless you absolutely have to. But! If Ben Folds is playing there, you have to. So we did.

I love Ben Folds so much. This is not news. So when those freakishly accurately targeted Facebook ads told me he was coming within two hours of town, I was in. (We won’t talk about how he LIVES IN NASHVILLE but rarely plays here.) Aaron and I drove up with our friend Becka and grabbed a super delicious and oh so fancy dinner at KFC before heading over to the campus.

The opener was Eef Barzelay, who you should know about if you don’t already. I had not heard of him, but late in his set he mentioned that his band is called Clem Snide, who I did know about, thanks to Mike and Kari. (That was a terrible sentence.) He? Was great. So interesting to watch and such good songs. We really enjoyed him as he played… and played… and played. It was seriously the longest opening set I have ever seen. Becka leaned over to me and said, “Maybe something happened to Ben Folds and there’s a guy in the wings doing the ‘keep going’ hand motion and whispering ‘One more!’”

It was funny until we realized she was right.

After Eef left the stage some kind of campus activities guy came out and said that Ben Folds was stuck in someplace called Beaver Creek and would be there as soon as he could. Everyone started groaning, except for us because we had no idea where Beaver Creek is. We asked the guy behind us who told us it was ‘down past the river, over the bluffs, on the other side of Hillbilly Junction but before Roadkill Bluff.’ (It’s possible that I am making some of that up.) When we asked him to clarify, he informed us that Beaver Creek was about two hours away. TWO HOURS. The promoter guy was telling everyone to head back to their dorms and come back an hour or so.

What the heck.

So we kind of sit there for a minute, because surely this is not real. We drove two hours to be here on a Monday evening. As much as I enjoyed Eef Barzelay, we did not make that trip to see him. We decided to go outside and try to find something to drink. We were just off the front steps of the auditorium when the promoter guy came back out and yelled, “They just got here! The show will start in 20 minutes.”

What the heck.

How he went from being two hours away to being 20 minutes away we will never know. If we had left when they told us to we would have missed the show completely. Instead, we got to move down to the front row of the half-full balcony and enjoy the show with no one sitting next to us. Pretty sweet.

I have to say, as much as I love Ben Folds and his shows, I am pretty much over his audiences. I have written about this before, and nothing has changed. He has a wide appeal among lame frat guys, and those guys turn out in droves for these shows. I think I’m kind of over it. He put on a great show with lots of new stuff, AND he played The Luckiest, but I just don’t know if I can sit through it again. They yell for the rap songs during the slow songs, talk through the ones they don’t know, and just generally make me insane. For the next Ben Folds show I go to I would like to handpick the crowd, pleaseandthankyou.

Overall it was a fun trip… the drive up was pretty and we had a good time hanging out. I’ve been listening to some Eef this week, which I love, and I bought a sweet t-shirt that I can’t find online. But, sadly, I don’t think I’ll be road-tripping it for a Ben Folds show again. If he wants to come to my house and play (it’s right around the corner!), though, I would totally be up for that.

Shamlessly stealing my post title from a fabulous blog, here are some things I’ve bought lately that I love.

1. L’Oreal Color Juice in Candy Apple

I have a hard time with lip gloss. If it’s not too shiny, it’s too sticky or too thick or involves glitter of some kind. I bought this on a whim at Target a couple of weeks ago, and it’s not too anything. It’s not thick at all, it goes on sheer and non-sticky and it smells (but does not taste) like candy. It gives you that lip stain thing that’s a little fancier than chapstick but not so ‘done’ as lipstick. Perfect.

2. Bermuda Shorts from Old Navy

I didn’t actually buy bermuda shorts on purpose. I thought I was buying a pair of navy chino capris at the Old Navy, but when I got home they were about eight inches too short. So I tried them on, and I loved them, so I kept them. I haven’t worn shorts in years and years and years, but these are really great. I love the length, and it’s really weird how much of a difference it makes to not have your knees covered up with fabric. I think they will be great this summer. Now I really want these plaid ones… what do you think?

3. Stacy’s Simply Naked Pita Chips

I probably eat an apple with cheddar cheese and hummus with pita chips for lunch at least three days a week. I especially love the roasted red pepper hummus (Kroger store brand!). But the flavor was too strong with the parmesan pita chips I usually buy. I picked up these naked pita chips at Whole Foods the other day and I am never going back. They are so good, but they don’t have any strong seasoning on them at all. Perfect for my super peppery hummus. I love them so much.

4. Loop Maui Wallet from Urban Outfitters

I’ve always had one of those big shiny leather tri-fold wallets that you have to like flip open to get to all your stuff. I don’t really mind them, but they are pretty bulky and kind of a pain, and the one I was using was pink and getting dingy and gross. So I ordered this one from Urban Outfitters, and it is perfect. You just have to snap it open and everything is right there! Excellent. And I love the purple beachy print. Makes me feel like I’m on vacation.

5. Baggu Reusable Tote Bags

My mom bought me three of these fabulous tote bags for Christmas. I keep them in my purse (they fold up into these little three square inch pouches) and use them at the grocery store, Target, the library, everywhere. They hold so much more than plastic grocery bags and keep me from bringing home 20 bags that then have to be recycled or stored somewhere. They are super sturdy and come in tons of fun colors. Two thumbs up!

How about you? Bought anything good lately?

This is a post about two dumbassy and totally embarrassing things I did yesterday.

EMBARRASSING THING THE FIRST

Aaron and I were leaving Chile Burrito, our new favorite place to eat because they are crazy cheap and have excellent fish tacos and salsa and the good kind of queso, even though the guacamole is kind of salty and the only have brisket sometimes. It was… dusk, I guess, but it hadn’t really gotten dark yet. We were turning out of the parking lot at the same time as this couple was coming out of the sushi place next door.

It was one of those awkward things where we were already kind of in the road, but they started walking across anyway, so we stopped, then they stopped, then they started going around us, etc. It wasn’t really a big deal, until the guy looked us and did that thing where you point your two fingers at your own eyes and then at someone else, like you’re saying, “I’M WATCHING YOU, BUDDY” in some kind of weird quasi-street-gang sign language.

Now, y’all may not know this about me, but I kind of hate people. They, as a general rule, drive me crazy. I love the people I know and most people are perfectly fine on a one-on-one basis. I don’t hate people, I hate people, like the general public that gets in your way at the grocery store and runs red lights and cuts you off in their giant yellow hummer forcing you to yell at them, putting your husband in the awkward position of possibly having to fight someone in the middle of the street while simultaneously fighting the urge to just let you out of the car and take off (that only happened once, I swear.)

(The potential fighting part, not the leaving me on the street part. That never happened.)

ANYWAY. So this guy is doing the two-fingered eye point, which I do not appreciate very much. So I, in the graceful and ladylike manner in which I do all things, returned his two-fingered eye point, only faster and with more wrist action. He can’t mess with us! I took self-defense!

The guy kind of gave me a funny look and yelled out, “Turn your lights on!” Oops. Maybe I should stop trying to start fights from the safety of the passenger seat.

(Although, in my defense… who uses the two-fingered eye point to tell someone to turn their lights on? How were we supposed to get that? AND. It wasn’t even dark yet. It wasn’t a dire emergency that we turn our headlights on. I blame him for the whole incident.)

EMBARRASSING THING THE SECOND

I went to get a haircut, and my girl wasn’t quite finished with the appointment before me, so she asked someone else to shampoo me. I have written before about how I have a few neuroses about getting my hair done. I love my hair girl now because she is also a friend of mine, so the whole thing is fun and low stress and there is no awkward scalp massaging involved.

So I go over to the sinks with this girl I do not know. (Please note that I also have eye-closing issues with the shampoo area… I don’t want to look like I am either a) ignoring the girl washing my hair; or b) too into it. But they lay you back so that you’re looking straight up into the lights! Not good.) We are kind of talking but not really, and she starts the shampoo. The shampoo she’s using smells kind of natural and green tea-ish, which I really like. So I say, “Mmmm… that smells really good!”

No big deal, right? It’s a perfectly normal thing to say.

Or it would be, at least, if she hadn’t leaned across me at the exact same time so that her armpit and my nose were in the same vicinity.

“Mmmm… I love the smell of your armpit! Now I will lay back and close my eyes whilst you massage my head!”

GAH. Clearly I just need to start doing my own haircuts. Just give me a bowl.

This is the console table in my living room.

I love everything about it except for that picture of grass, although I do love how the hippo and rhino kind of look like they’re frolicking in it. But it’s not working for me there… I think it’s too dark and that side of the room needs some color. I have decided on this poster from sfgirlbybay on etsy, but we are a house divided when it comes to color.

One of us likes the gold:

And the other likes the blue:

For reference, the rest of the room looks like this (later you can help me shop for throw pillows!):

So help us decide. Just know that choosing my color will bring you a lifetime of joy and happiness. choosing Aaron’s color will bring you a lifetime of pancake worms.

Which do you like – the gold or the blue?

Friday night our new friends Jacob and Katie came over and hung out. At one point I asked Aaron what time it was, and he made me guess. I went with eleven, but it was actually 1:30, so they went home. I like new friends that you can sit and talk with for six hours without realizing it.

During that talk I told a story about how Aaron, Susan and I had gone to IHOP once after a concert and I ordered pancakes because I love pancakes. I mean, I really really love pancakes. I would eat them for every meal if I could. They are so delicious. Anyway, not only do I love pancakes, but I love playing with the food that’s left on my plate after I finish eating. I cut it into tiny pieces, or draw lines in it with my knife, or build little castles with it. It’s a problem. So after I had finished eating my pancakes, I still had some left. I took the straw from my water glass and stuck it in my pancake to make a circle. When I picked up the straw, the little bit of pancake stuck inside it. So I started making holes all over the pancakes and the straw started filling up with little pieces of pancake.

I thought this was pretty cool. Aaron thought it was pretty gross. I am unsure of what Susan thought.

Once the straw was totally full of pancake pieces, I held it with one hand and used the other to squeeze the pancake pieces out of the straw. This is where things got awesome. The pancake pieces came out in one long strand, making a giant pancake worm. It was the ultimate playing-with-your-food discovery. Pancake worms! Who knew!

I like to tell this story because I think it is funny and it makes me want to eat pancakes. Aaron does not like for me to tell this story because it grosses him out but also somehow makes him want to eat pancakes.

Saturday morning we slept in pretty good. Aaron got up before I did, but he closed the door behind him and left Miles in the bedroom with me. Miles hates that because if he doesn’t have easy access to both of us at all times he starts freaking out. It’s a hard life. So I got up to let Miles out of the room and found Aaron in the kitchen. Making me pancakes. From scratch. Scratch!

How awesome is that? To show my appreciation, I refrained from making pancake worms out of them. But I sure wanted to. Because I love pancakes. And pancake worms.

Dear Target,

I love you. This is no secret. A ridiculous percentage of my clothes and shoes come from you, and almost all of my jewelry. You make me, so, very happy. Usually.

It does not make me happy that you regularly show clothes in your commercials that you don’t actually sell. I’m glad that girl gets to dance with paper towels and dog food in an funky plaid dress, I really am. But why does she get to have all the fun? I want to buy some Pringles and then juggle them in an adorable purple skirt, but alas, I cannot. Because you don’t sell that skirt.

You are a store that sells clothes. I don’t watch a Best Buy commercial and then go into the store hoping to buy one of those blue polo shirts. But I do watch a Target commercial and think I can actually buy the things you show in the ad. This is confusing. And also? It is mean.

Overloaded in t-shirts,
Brandi

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Dear Kroger,

I come to your store in Brentwood specifically because you sell a lot of organic and gluten-free products. You have saved me many a special trip to Wild Oats. But why, why, why can’t you sell Vitamin Water for a dollar a piece? At Target? A dollar. At Walmart? A dollar. At Publix? A dollar. But no, you have to sell it for $1.39, leaving me to decide between spending a few extra dollars or making a special trip to the store. This is not the kind of choice I like to make.

Shelling out the extra 40 cents,
Brandi

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Dear people who drive on the same roads I do,

Please, for the love of guacamole, get control of your windshield wipers. It is one of my biggest (and, admittedly, weirdest and most petty) pet peeves when the speed of someone’s windshield wipers is too fast for the level of rain. Doesn’t that scrapy rubbery sound drive you crazy? Doesn’t the insane speed with which you’re wiping away the sprinkles make you go a little cross-eyed? It’s not difficult! Just turn that little knob down a notch or two. There you go. Now we can all breathe easier.

(Sidenote to the Saturn people: I love your stupid little plastic cars. But don’t try to tell me I have nine speed options on my wipers when I really only have three – excessively slow, moderately slow, and seven settings of freakishly frantic. I keep turning the knob, but they’re not slowing down. I don’t think you understand how much this stresses me out.)

Squinting through the drops,
Brandi

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Dear baseball card shop down the street,

Are you open 24 hours? Ready to provide assistance for any 4am collectible card emergencies? Does the card business really get to booming after dark? No? Then why is your neon “OPEN” sign lit up at all hours of the night? Someday some kid is going to desperately need a Willie Mays Hayes rookie card at midnight and you won’t be able to help him. Way to crush a dream, baseball card shop down the street.

More of a Wild Thing fan herself,
Brandi

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Dear Counting Crows,

Oh, Counting Crows. I love you. You have been one of my favorite bands for years. But seriously, we need to talk.

What is up with these co-headlining tours? I did not want to hear an hour of Goo Goo Dolls, and I definitely don’t want to hear an hour of Maroon 5. Is it that hard to play a full set? Really? You don’t tour that often. You have a ton of songs. You have a new album. PLAY A WHOLE CONCERT. I want to see you live, I really do. But I don’t think I can justify a road trip for a one hour set. Why do you hate me?

Time and time again,
Brandi