Charleston. We found Travis here! Did you know I love Travis? I wasn’t sure if I mentioned it.
• Sheila, 18. She has on the black stretchy contemporary shorts and a hoodie she bought at Forever 21. But she is also adorable and really graceful and the judges send her straight to Vegas.
• Erin, 30, and John, 23. They are pretty sure they are ballroom dancers, and I am pretty sure they are awful. You guys, they do the running man and the cabbage patch. ON PURPOSE. They are so so bad and they go home. Yikes.
• Jeremiah, 19. He is awkwardly philosophical. He is… good? I don’t know. He flops around a bit and almost falls down a couple of times. The judges really like him, though, and send him straight to Vegas.
• Syidah, 25. When you were younger, did you ever wear two pairs of socks layered so that one color stuck out over the other one? She is doing that, but with four different colors. My 9-year-old self is so jealous. She does a handful of moves she saw on music videos and is generally uninterested in being normal. She takes her attitude and goes home.
• Shamika, 28. She, I am pretty sure, tries to have sex with the floor. Goes home.
• Anthony and Antwain, 20, identical twins. Anthony goes first, jumps around a lot, gets sent home. Antwain goes second, does a lot of flips and a few more interesting moves than his brother. But he also puts himself on the line for him a little bit and the judges ask them both to come up and do a routine together, which the completely knock out of the park. I think, even in the routine, that Antwain is still better… his movements are a lot bigger and he is more expressive. But they both get through to the choreography.
• Choreography! Travis! In: Antwain, Anthony.
• Abigail, 18. She is really cute and teaches swim lessons to kids and is an awful, awful dancer. Seriously. She is terrible. But she is still so adorable. Tyce tells her she was “horrifying” and she says, “Oh. Crap.” She goes home.
• BJ, 23. He works at a performing arts school and the kids and teachers there donated money to get him to the audition. He has lots of tricks and is pretty amazing to watch. He goes to choreography.
• Courtney, 19. Question: do you think the producers want us to think Nygel is skeevy? We always get creepy old man shots of him when cute girls are dancing. Anyway, Courtney is adorable and has a lot of personality and goes straight to Vegas.
• Jason/Betty, 21. He is a transvestite and he is dancing to Paula Abdul and he is wearing hot pink stretch pants and he is just scary. Again, why are we wasting our time on these people? We do get a good quote out of Nygel, though: “You are not only a disgrace to dancers, you are a disgrace to transvestites.” That’s kind of awesome. He sucks and he goes home. Here’s what annoys me, though, even more than JBet. The judges spend a lot of time telling him he’s awful and disrespectful to the people who are there for real and blah blah blah. It’s all very high and mighty, but they give him five minutes of TV time, so obviously they are kind of ok with it.
• Next we get a bad dancer montage that is so awesome it makes Aaron crylaugh really hard and we have to go back and watch it again.
• Claire, 20. She auditioned two seasons ago but got hurt in Vegas. She is freakishly thin and has Steel Magnolias hair and I don’t think she is good at all. They send her to choreography.
• Choreography! Travis! In: Claire.Out: BJ.
Washington DC! I… have nothing interesting to say about that.
• Megan, 18. She is dancing to that Alicia Keys “no one no one no one” song, which I hate, so I am already meh on her. She is cute and seems to be pretty good… she has really strong movements but she flips her hair all over the place. This is her first audition ever and they send her straight to Vegas.
• Derrick, 23. Oh, awesome. This guy is a crackhead who auditioned last year, was terrible, and ended up hyperventilating. This year he thinks he has a better shot because he’s been taking an African dance class where, apparently, they teach the fishing pole, die throwing and golfing. WOW. He is lame. He goes home.
• Markus, 23. He is wearing a t-shirt with his late mother’s face airbrushed on it. His routine is kind of a mix of hip hop and contemporary, and it is really cool to watch. They praise his choreography and his musicality and… send him to choreography. WHY? He was great. He should have gone to Vegas. This is insane.
• Markus, 25, and Deonna, 23. They are DC swing dancers, which appears to be a mix of swing, hip hop, disco… all kind of stuff. It’s really fun to watch. At one point they do this funky spin move where he slides out of his jacket and she slides into it. I watched it in slow motion and I still have no idea how they did it. They go to choreography.
• Choreography! Travis! In: Markus the contemporary. Out: Deonna and Markus the swinger.
• Brandon, 18. He is amazing, y’all. He is really strong and powerful and moves really gracefully. He even gets a Mary scream. He is fantastic and they send him straight to Vegas Must be the stretchy black shorts. He kind of ruins the impression, though, when he SCAMPERS off stage. Scampering is not cool.
• Phucdat, 25. He is wearing goggles. Why we gotta waste his flava? I don’t think he is good at all, but he does do some cool tricks. The judges seem to like him and he goes to choreography.
• Maria. Y’all! She has a Get In Shape Girl ribbon! That is amazing. I wish I had known I could take my mad ribbon dancing skills to the stage. She is not good and goes home.
• Anthony, 23. He is wearing fatigues and dancing to, I think, Trans Siberian Orchestra. It is weird and kind of scary. We already saw him walking down the street cursing the camera, so I imagine this isn’t going to go well. But! They send him to choreography. Hmmm.
• Choreography! Travis! Out: Anthony (and his breakdown) and Phucdat. Which, by the way, is pronounced awesomely.
One more week of auditions. Then! Vegas! V-E-A-G-S!