Top Six! Only one hour! Yay!

PERFORMANCE SHOW

Cat looks pretty good today. Great hair and a disco-ish dress, nothing too insane.

Guest judge tonight is Adam Shankman, who is excessively less crazy than Toni Basil, thank goodness. I like this guy as a judge, he seems to really like all of the dancers and has good criticisms. You know, unlike the other two judges who blatantly hate certain dancers and only give gimmicky criticisms.

First up, Courtney and Mark. They pull a Viennese waltz and Courtney complains a lot about Mark touching her boob. I find her completely annoying.

Aw, this is really pretty, even if they are making us listen to David Cook sing. They look great together. It’s very graceful and simple and sweet and flowy. I love the costumes and the lighting and the mood. The whole thing is really nice.

Adam thought it was really beautiful and says Mark is the best waltzer so far this season. Mary screams about the choreography (GAH) and calls them effortless. Who dresses her, y’all? Seriously. Nigel calls it romantic and says they started the evening really well. Yay!

Our first solo is Chelsie. Ballroom solos are tough, man. She could be doing all kinds of crazy things up there, but it all just looks like walking.

Twitch solos next to a song called Midas Touch with lots of gold accents. He puts on a gold grill and big gold glasses and it’s all pretty cute. I’m glad he’s not wearing another Twitch shirt, even though he was wearing one during the intros. Shameless self-promotion, party of one.

Next up are Katee and Joshua, which Cat tells us happened because the girls pulled their partners out of a hat. I bet. I was really hoping to see Katee dance with Mark. They’re doing a contemporary with Tyce that he says is a Romeo and Juliet/West Side Story type of thing.

All By Myself? Seriously? Joshua appears to just be there to catch and lift her. Not much else coming from him. At one point she jumps up in a split in the air and he catches her by the legs and keeps her in position. It’s pretty awesome. It’s also really dark on the stage, so I probably miss a lot. Really, though, it’s just a lot of jumps and lifts. And lame music.

Adam calls it the best thing Tyce has done all season, which, no, and then spends about 20 minutes talking about how he and Tyce know each other and that Paula Abdul is there. He calls them two of the most exciting dancers ever on the stage, which, again, no. Mary calls it passionate and strong and the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen on the show. WHAT? Insane. Y’all. The judges are STANDING UP for this routine. I am dying over here. Nigel talks a lot about choreography, AGAIN, and how this other famous choreographer is there. Fascinating. He also can’t believe Joshua has no classical training, which not only do I think is not entirely true but also… he just caught her. That’s all. I know it’s hard, but it’s not the amazing dancing they want me to think it is. NO.

Twitch and Chelsie are bringing us the mambo. They tell us how the counting is tricky in the mambo and Twitch has trouble with some of the moves because his pants are too baggy. This should be interesting.

Chelsie looks great in a bright red feathery thing and some seriously awesome shoes. She is all over this routine, shaking and kicking and hipping it up all over the place. Twitch does okay, I think… he seems pretty awkward but I think he keeps it together. He might as well not even be there, though. She is outshining him like crazy.

Adam says Chelsie was on fire and burned up the stage. He thought Twitch was a good partner but could have sold it better. Mary says Twitch did a pretty good job of staying on beat in what is apparently a pretty difficult counting situation. She says Chelsie was tremendous and fabulous and no one can touch her in latin styles. Nigel praises Chelsie to high heaven and says Twitch kind of lost it in the middle.

Katee is up next with her solo and it is not good. She’s just not really doing anything. Remember last week, when we all gave Comfort a hard time for being great in choreography but not so great in solos? I think, yet again, Katee needs to hear that speech. At least this one didn’t have any slow motion reaching.

I hate that Olive Garden commercial where the dad is all, “I love our family tradition where I totally boost my kids’ food because it looks better than mine!” Hey, Dad? It’s the Olive Garden. None of that food is good.

Joshua’s solo is the best one so far, I think. It has lots of tricks and is fun to watch. That guy can jump crazy high.

Courtney and Mark’s second routine is jazz with Sonya of the crazy hair. It’s a French burlesque battle of the sexes. I don’t know entirely what that means, but I think Sonya is awesome so I am excited.

Ok. I love this. It’s dark and weird and jumpy and awesome. The whole thing is kind of crazy, with lots of posing and lifting and crazy walking. They have great emotion and musicality (my new favorite word) throughout the whole thing. It’s the only one I rewound to watch again just because I liked it so much. This is really the perfect kind of routine for Mark, and he is great in it, but Courtney is great too, which I didn’t entirely expect. They are awesome. I love it.

Adam is freaking out about how awesome it was. Yay! He calls it sick and says they are unbelievable together. Mary calls it crazy, raw, interesting and weird. Which, yes. And she screams about loving it. Nigel loved it and says it was perfect for Mark and Courtney was great. He calls it a highlight of tonight. Yes!

Katee and Joshua pulled the pasa doble for their second routine. Should be good.

Hey! Joshua is actually dancing! This is good. I don’t usually like pasa dobles very much… they always feel so forced. But they both do a good job. The routine has some cool tricks and they both pull of the emotion of it completely. Except… aren’t pasa dobles supposed to have some anger and hardness to them? I’m not seeing that, particularly from Katee. But overall, very cool.

Adam can’t believe Joshua has no training and can do what he does. He loved it. Mary, I think, is going to scream. She calls them true magic. And… there’s the scream. Nigel specifically talks about their footwork and says Joshua is stealing the show. Mary is standing up again. What the heck.

Courtney is back with a slow motion reaching solo.

Does your local Fox news report on American Idol like it’s actual news? During the show the teasers are always about how got kicked off that week, and just now we had a news promo about how auditions are going on. NOT. NEWS.

Mark has the last solo. It’s fine. Nothing he hasn’t really done before. I would totally make out with him, though.

Chelsie and Twitch’s second routine is a NapTab hip hop routine about conductors battling over the stick. Isn’t it called a baton? Do I know anything about conducting? No I do not.

Fun! This one is really cute. They really are battling over the stick throughout the routine. The one who has it appears to have the ability to ‘conduct’ the moves of the other person, which is really cool. They seem to hit it equally hard, or as hard as you can in a NapTab routine. I don’t think Twitch was much better than her. They were both totally in character and I thought it was really fun.

Adam blah blah blahs about the choreography, then calls Twitch hot and says they can’t find anything Chelsie can’t do. Mary says Twitch is awesome always, which he is not. She says Chelsie kept up and was unbelievable. Nigel praises their ability to entertain and says whoever is cut tomorrow is just as good as whoever stays. Interesting.

My favorite: Mark and Courtney’s jazz
Least favorite: all the solos

RESULTS SHOW

Cat’s dress hot streak is over. This teal sequin-y fringe-y off the shoulder thing is no good. Her hair looks fabulous, though.

Group routine! I just paused it at the beginning, so all I can see is that the song is “The Rose” by Bette Midler. I do not have a good feeling about this. It starts with a Chelsie spotlighted solo, then the other two girls join in before the boys join them. And… it’s all mopey and slow and boring. Boo to the whole thing. Mandy Moore! This was not your best work.

Voting voting blah blah blah. Also, Adam Shankman is offering the winner of the show a role in one of his movies. Not a starring role, but a role. That could be cool. Also it could be lame.

Before we proceed with the eliminating, the judges would like to talk. This should be good.

Nigel tells them they will face rejection in their dancing careers and they can’t let that get them down. Also, five of them will be rejected by the end of this show in front of millions of people. Uplifting! Then he tells them that they all got over a million votes after last night’s show. Is that a lot? Did one of them get one million and one of them get ten million? We have no idea. Twitch and his glasses think that is a lot of votes. Mary thought they were dignifed and classy in the opening number and they have all grown and matured throughout the show. She will be proud of the winner. Not the rest of them, though. Adam’s comments reference a David Cook song. He lost me after that.

All six of them will be dancing solos tonight. Courtney is first and gets points for dancing to A Fine Frenzy. She is still a pretty generic contemporary solo girl, but I do think she’s gotten better as the season has gone on. Mark is next and starts off with some pretty cool suspender work. Here’s what I have decided about Mark’s solos - they are weird, and I don’t always get them, but if you had a bunch of people on stage doing that choreography together it would look awesome. Katee starts off with reaching, so we can pretty much see where this is going. Spin, reach, spin, reach, writhe, reach. Meh.

After the break Cat tells us that there were 11 million votes last night, so that gives some perspective. If they all got at least one million… I guess someone could have gotten the other five all to themselves, but I bet it was pretty even across the board. Interesting.

Joshua does some cool popping (?) moves to a song that keeps changing tempo. At the end he kind of bounces into the splits and that is pretty cool. Also, he got his braces off. Chelsie is somehow ballrooming to Travis Tritt. It’s actually really cute - she’s laying off the latin twisty steps and doing some cool kicks and spins. It’s probably the best solo she’s had so far. Twitch is dancing in another Twitch t-shirt. Ugh. There is very little dancing involved in this, but a lot of “Hey! Look how adorable I am!”

Next we have this little kid breaker who is cooler and has better moves than most of the guys on the show this season. Dang, y’all. He’s awesome.

OK. I’m not saying I want to see House Bunny. I’m just saying when she does that demon voice to remember people’s names, that’s funny stuff.

Elimination time! The girls are up first. We watch clips of everything they each did last night and listen to the judges rave about all three of them. The first safe person is… Katee. Well, duh. Who will be joining her in the finale? We’ll find out after we send a guy to safety. We go through the same motions - clips of last night and judges praising them - before sending to safety… Joshua. Again, duh.

Someone named Lady GaGa is performing. What is happening here? She has about 25 people onstage dancing with her. The song is called “Let’s Dance”, so at least it’s related to the show. At one point they do the kid’n'play! That’s my go-to move.

OK! Now we’re eliminating for real. The girls are back on stage. Which one is going home? Chelsie. Whoa. I loved her all season, but honestly here at the end Courtney started growing on me. Her dancing, not her personality. Mark and Twitch are next. I am nervous! And the person going home is… Mark. Nooooooooo! Blast. I hate that. The only good thing about this is now we get to watch Mark’s clip reel. I love him so much. Way to get rid of the only interesting person on the show, AMERICA.

Well, that’s that. Get ready for a boring finale. I hate that I feel like this, but I’m glad it’s over next week. This season has been so meh.

I love our neighborhood. I love our house, I love our street, I love our big trees and downtown proximity. But there are some weird things going down in this place.

The couple across the street from us has lived in that house for 45 years. They are super nice and have a grandson who stays with them who is always, always, ALWAYS wearing a cowboy hat, boots, and a cape. He’s awesome. But here’s the weird part - she mows the lawn every day. EVERY DAY. I’ve been paying attention, and I think I’ve got it figured out. As best as I can tell, she’s got the yard divided into seven chunks. (I was going to say seven quadrants, but I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. I don’t know my geometry, or even if that would be qualified as geometry, but I do know my prefixes!) Each day she mows a different chunk, and by the end of the week she’s mowed the whole thing. Then she just starts over.

There’s a guy who lives kind of caddy-cornered to us who is a gardener. Usually, it’s really nice when your neighbor is a gardener. They always have pretty, well-kept grass and flowers. BUT. It’s a little different when they are growing corn. In the front yard. It’s pretty awesome, really… there was grass, then there was black tarp everywhere, and now there are cornstalks that are taller than I am.

But my personal favorite is the lady a few houses down. She runs a daycare out of her house, and she keeps a few kids from all over the neighborhood. At the end of the day, when it’s time for the kids to go home, their parents don’t pick them up. Instead, the daycare lady takes them home. On her riding lawnmower. So several times a day I see her driving down the street, racing past my house at two miles an hour, with a couple of kids and a dog in her lap. Sometimes she’s alone and talking on the phone. Because we all need a little downtime.

I wonder if those people think we’re the weird ones? They sit and blog about their new neighbors who pay a guy to mow their lawn, just grow bushes and flowers, and use their cars to get around town. Or maybe it’s about how they have a bunch of teenagers over all the time, sleep late and wear their pajamas outside every morning to let the dog out. Crazy people.

I had to get a shot on Friday. A SHOT. I do not do needles. At all. Or doctors, really, for that matter. She asked me when I had my last tetanus shot and I was all, “Oh, I got one before college! I am awesome at medical upkeep!” And that’s when she told me that if it had been ten years, I was due for another one. Not cool. But I have been milking the sore-arm-can’t-do-anything-for-myself thing for all it’s worth.

Since it’s been ten years since I was getting ready for college, that also means it’s been ten years since I graduated high school. My class set up this website where people can upload pictures and fill out a little thing about themselves, and I am OBSESSED with it. I check it all the time. I don’t know why, but I am always so surprised when people married other people from our class. Does that happen a lot? I don’t think any of our married friends went to high school together.

The website has taught me something about myself: I have a terrible memory. The main page has a list of recently updated profiles, and I very rarely have any idea who these people are. The name will sound vaguely familiar, and I’ll think I know, and then I click the name and the picture comes up and one of two things will happen. I either know the face, but it’s not the one I thought went with the name, or I have never seen that person before in my life. What is wrong with me?

Relatedly, my high school reunion is in September. I am going, and I am scared. What does one wear to a high school reunion? Ours is at a bar, thankfully, and not some random hotel ballroom that would require fancy dressing. Can I wear jeans? I have some really nice super dark rinse jeans and an excellent pair of strappy wedges that I love. Can I wear that with a cool top? I don’t know what to do. I need an outfit that says, “Look at me! I am so much cooler than I was in high school and my life is completely awesome. Which you can totally tell by how my outfit looks great on me but does not at all look like I’m trying too hard. Don’t you wish we were friends?”

I have a problem with shopping for big events. I always seem to buy something that I think I really love, wear it on that one occasion, and then never wear it again. What is that all about? These are the pieces I spend the most money on and am most photographed in, but I do not love them. I think I get shopping paralysis and just buy the first thing that might kind of work. I am overwhelmed by the pressure to be fabulous!

I would write more, but I can’t. My arm totally hurts. Will you get me a glass of tea?

Six years! How on earth did we get here?

It all started a couple of weeks before we left for camp. I got up and began my usual morning house wake up process - opening the doors and blinds, things like that. I looked outside and saw something weird on my car. I went to get it and spent a while finding the perfect place for it. I finally decided that the microwave door was the perfect place to display my first flamingo gift from one of the kids.

Later that week there was a little wrapped package on my desk when I got to work. I opened it up to find the most beautiful necklace in all the land, courtesy of our children’s minister.

Then, the best one. One of my girls went on a cruise to Mexico and came back with my most awesomeest flamingo gift. Not only is it hand-carved and painted, it’s a pen! So fancy. You know you’re jealous.

Three flamingo gifts in two weeks! I am a lucky girl. If I had known doing flamingo fundraiser was going to be so lucrative, I would have done it ages ago. Next year I’m hoping for a flamingo all expenses paid vacation, or maybe a flamingo new car. The possibilities are endless.

Hi friends! I am alive!

The past two weeks have pretty much been a blur. Last Monday at 5:00am we loaded up 32 kids and adults and drove to Ridgecrest, NC for youth camp. It was an amazing week that pretty much stressed out every muscle in my body and every wave in my brain, and I am only now beginning to emerge back into the real world.

Camp was an interesting experience this year. Last year, everything was crazy high energy and emotional and big and loud. And this year… wasn’t. I don’t know if it was the staff, or the schedule, or just excessively high expectations, but everything just felt slower and more mellow.

And it was awesome.

At first the kids were struggling with it. They were expecting the insanity we experienced last year. When they got teambuilding instead of competition and parables and discussion instead of naptime disguised as bible study, they didn’t quite know what to do. But by the end of the week I think they were glad for it. All that intense competition and those big emotional nights are gratifying while they’re happening, but they’re hard to translate into everyday life.

We had several kids who were taking their first trip with our group (and some taking their first non-parent trip EVER), and there’s no better way to get to know people than to ride on a crowded van for 12 hours and sleep in a bed with them. The trick now will be figuring out how to walk alongside all these new relationships and support them when real life claws its way back in.

We made it through 99% of the week injury-free… and ended the week with a midnight dash to the emergency room. The night before we left one of our sixth grade boys got his finger slammed in a heavy door. I will spare you the really gross details and instead tell you that he handled it like a champ and we all survived, even those of us who had to drive home the next morning on three hours sleep.

I love camp so much. I love the crazy games and the morning services and the funny videos and the inside jokes and the late night dance parties and the puff painted tshirts and the teambuilding games and the new people and the bonding and the church group time. I can’t think of much better than to have a job where I get paid to do camp. I would do it for free in a heartbeat.

Top 12! Next week it all gets mixed up. Hopefully without Thayne.

PERFORMANCE SHOW

OK, seriously. Where do they find these dresses for Cat? This one is much better than last week, but still. Y’all. I know there are better dresses out there.

Jidges! Our guest judge this week is Mia Michaels in a Debbie Gibson hat. Mary is 80’s drag queening it up, as per usual.

Here we go!

Chelsie and Mark. First up they get the salsa, which should be good for Chelsie.

Dudes, I think Mark is my overall favorite. He can sell these things. They look great, even though Chelsie is a little more smiley, less sexy. They do this intense spinning combo where they keep linking arms on opposite sides and Chelsie is just spinning around and around and around Mark. It’s very cool. They end with her up on his shoulders and then they do this sweeping dismount where Chelsie just about busts her teeth on the floor.

Nigel thought they were great but Mark could have relaxed a bit and is, again, skeevy about Chelsie’s outfit. Mary compliments Mark’s partnering ability and says he is strong and passionate. She calls Chelsie phenomenal and says she is ‘beautiful dynamite’. Mary says they were smokin’ hot and they danced it really well. She calls Mark a star and an actor, which I have been saying for weeks. I should totally be a judge on this show.

Their second routine is broadway. This should be fun! Mark calls her ‘hot and stuff’. Love him.

They are dancing to that song that says “I’m a woman, W-O-M-A-N”. She’s dancing all mad because she has to do his socks and pay the bills and make a man out of him, and he’s kind of following her around begging her to love him. But who wouldn’t love him? I mean. Really. It’s fun, with lots of character and big expressive movements. The routine kind of loses steam in the middle, I think, but overall I really like it.

Nigel says it was hotter than the 110 degrees it was in Vegas when he was there last week. Fascinating. He calls Chelsie all legs and says they were great. Mary calls them sultry, sexy, bluesy. Mia thought it was fun and entertaining, and that even though it showed Mark’s lack of technique he performed amazingly. She deems it ‘cool’.

Comfort and Thayne. They get hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon. So it’s not so much hip hop as it is ‘hip hop’. Got it. Thayne says he doesn’t want to go out there and be like this goofy white guy trying to do hip hop. Um… sorry Thayne. It’s way too late.

She is good at this, which she should be, but I wasn’t sure if she would be, honestly. Thayne is… not. He’s about a half beat behind her the whole time. I think he’s supposed to be hitting on her and she is avoiding him, but neither of them are selling that story at all. There are a couple of beats in the music that are supposed to hit hard, and they just don’t. Not so much with this one.

Nigel talks about how awesome the choreography is, again, blah, meh. He says they didn’t pull the emotions off and they will be in the bottom three. Mary agrees and says they weren’t connecting at all and it was ‘just good’. Mia thought it was a little bit more than good, but it went downhill as the routine progressed. She really likes Comfort but she isn’t getting better with the show like she should. She also says she loves Thayne, which makes me question everything I’ve ever thought about Mia.

I got excited when I saw Mandy Moore in the audience earlier, but she’s choreographing their second routine. That makes me nervous. Mandy says she thinks Comfort can step it up and she’s giving them a difficult contemporary routine.

I just do not buy Comfort as a dancer, really, at all. Thayne is good in this… it’s perfect for his style of contemporary and he lays off the big smiles. But Comfort looks like she’s really struggling. I can’t really get into it. Plus the music is George Michael, which, no.

Nigel says the choreography was great but he would have preferred to see a different couple dance it. They are just not connecting. Mary agrees and says they just don’t have it. Mia tells Comfort she can only fake so much and criticizes their technique. She also says if they had performance value and connection it would have been a lot better. She praises Thayne again. Boo.

Jessica and Will. They’ve got a Tyce Diorio contemporary. I don’t think I knew he did that! They both feel really strongly about the piece and are totally trying to sell the ‘we are partners, 50-50’ thing. I hope that’s true!

Will is barely dressed, which I am totally in favor of. Hello, muscles. The routine is really beautiful… they do a lot of interesting tricks and it’s all so graceful and dynamic. There is barely music at all, just a girl kind of singing and breathing. It’s great.

Nigel says Jessica caught up with Will this week and they were great. (He also talks about the choreography but I’m not recapping that anymore. Just assume it happened.) Mary calls it one of the most amazing pieces she’s ever seen on the show. Mary calls it: body art, alive, a painting, a breath… and probably more crunchy words I can’t remember. She loved it.

Next up they draw a quickstep. This could go either way. The quickstep is a scary one.

It opens with Will tumbling across the stage, which is pretty awesome but not so ballroomy, I don’t think. The routine is super cute – it has a 50’s feel and lots of personality. I have no idea if they do the steps well, but it’s fun to watch. It has a lot of non-ballroom stuff that is great, but the ballroom stuff just seems okay, I think. I like it.

Nigel says all the non-quickstep parts were great, but the quickstep was not. Then! Mary says that she’s calling the fashion police on Will’s jacket! Mary! Who dresses like an extra on Dallas. She was not impressed. Mia brings her bitch out big time, talking about how Will looks like he’s tired of carrying Jessica and he needs a new partner. Wow.

Courtney and Gev. They pull a cha-cha with Anya and Pasha! I love Pasha. He’s my backup SYTYCD boyfriend. There’s a cute exchange where Anya, Pasha and Gev are all speaking Russian and Courtney has no idea what’s going on.

This? Is great. Really. They totally pull it off. Gev is the Dominic (or Sarah, really) of this season. He can do everything. They are sexy and fast and together and it all looks great. The choreography is very cool. The whole thing is just awesome.

Nigel says they are one of the best couples on the show as far as how well they work together. He thought the routine was fantastic. Mary screams that it was magic and praises Gev for being committed and passionate. Then she says hot-cha-cha! I say that all the time. She took my word. Then she screams about the hot tamale train and I am so over that. Mia calls it ‘fabulosity at its best’. Stop saying crazy things! She says they are not the best dancers on the show but their performance quality is amazing.

Next up they get a jazz routine with Mandy Moore. Fun!

They are dressed like they’re on safari and the whole routine is them fighting over a map and who knows how to get where they’re going. It’s really cute and Gev gets to pull out some breaker moves, and they are awesome. I think they do a lot of tricky lifts and moves and stuff, but you can hardly tell because it all looks so easy. It’s cute.

Nigel says it was fun but didn’t really have much substance. Mary disagrees and says there were some complicated things going on there. I knew it! Mia calls them one of her favorites and says they were great. I think we are close to running out of time because the judging keeps getting shorter.

Twitch and Kherington. They are krumping with Lil C. She is not going to be good at this. Get ready for the white girl hip hop face.

Hey! A hip hop routine that looks like hip hop! So exciting. I have found, as a general rule, that I watch the girls more than the guys during the routines. But this one is all about Twitch, and not just because I like him so much. His movements are bigger and harder and stronger. She’s good, though. I think they pull it off for the most part. They’re not always together and she is weaker, but overall I like it.

Nigel says they were good and Kherington was great until the last 16 bars. I don’t know a lot about keeping time in music, but in a 90 second piece, wouldn’t 16 bars be kind of a long time? He doesn’t think so, choosing instead to just pretend they didn’t happen. That’s fair. Mary says this is the first time she’s believed in this ‘krumping’ thing. What? The judges are on my nerves with this routine. She says Kherington was brilliant (no) and calls her GANGSTER. Because she knows. Mary calls it dirty and real and scary and says Twitch was amazing and Kherington did really well.

Their second routine is a smooth tango. Is that a thing? I didn’t know that.

I feel like this should be dramatic and interesting, but I am pretty bored by it. They seem bored, too… they have these weird faces on and I am not buying it at all. They’re supposed to be fighting, I think, but it doesn’t look like it. It doesn’t really look like anything.

Nigel says Twitch looked uncomfortable and his performance was dishonest. Mary liked the beginning and end but hated the middle. Mia gives us a dance philosophy lesson and says they didn’t have personality or commitment.

Katee and Joshua. Their first routine is the Viennese waltz where Joshua is a ghost and Katee is dancing with him but can’t see him.

Again! So good! I don’t usually love these slower ballroom routines, but this one is really nice. There are some great moments where he is reaching for her and she goes right past him. Because he’s a ghost! Why do I like that so much? I am lame. They’re not totally together the whole time, but they pull of some cool lifts and, I think, really pull off the emotions of it. I like it a lot.

Nigel calls Joshua ‘bouncy’, but that was the only thing he didn’t like. He compliments Katee’s movements and lines. Mary says the routine and the lifts were great but the dancing and technique were weak. Mia says Joshua was clumsy and rough, but that Katee is a gift to dance. Whoa.

Last dance! Finally! It’s a… Bollywood routine? What? Is that an actual style of dance? Or does it just mean ‘loosely based on Indian culture’?

Their costumes are AMAZING. Katee has beads and gold all over her and she looks beautiful. I’m not sure about this at first, but by the end I am totally sold. It’s so cool. They are bouncing around all over the place and at the same time doing these really intricate hand movements and poses. It’s great.

Nigel talks about how he’s wanted this style on the show for three years, but somehow, as the executive producer, he couldn’t make it happen. Lame. Then he talks about how the world needs to come together in dance instead of ‘what we’re doing at the moment’. Thanks for the life lesson there, Nige. Mary screams and yells and loved it. Mia thought it was fun and a great piece and talks a lot about world dance. Awesome.

My favorites: Courtney and Gev’s chacha, Katee and Joshua’s Bollywood
Least favorites: Comfort and Thayne’s everything, Twitch and Kherington’s tango

RESULTS SHOW

Wow, Cat’s hair looks terrible. Seriously. Is she sleeping when they dress her? Surely she is allowed to speak up for herself.

Group dance! Hip hop! This is mostly cool. Their jackets have glow in the dark stripes on them, and they turn out the lights for some of the routine. That part is less cool. I like it overall, though… there are a lot of sections where they are all in a bunch together and doing the exact same choreography and it’s really fun. I like it a lot. Thanks NapTab!

First two couples out are Comfort and Thayne and Katee and Joshua. Comfort and Thayne did a terrible hip hop routine and an even worse contemporary. Katee and Joshua danced a beautiful waltz and a really interesting Bollywood routine. Obviously Comfort and Thayne are in the bottom three. Am I right? Of course I am. Thanks for the fake drama, show.

Next two: Jessica and Will and Mark and Chelsie. Jessica and Will danced a contemporary that involved lots of Will, so, you know. Yes. Then they danced a quickstep that was really fun but not very quicksteppy. Mark and Chelsie did a muy caliente salsa and sultry dramatic broadway routine. Who’s in the bottom three? Will and Jessica. Dude, I bet they send her home. That is so wrong.

Last up we have Gev and Courtney and Twitch and Kherington. Gev and Courtney danced a super hot chacha and a super cute jazz routine. Twitch and Kherington krumped and tangoed and it was all very meh for me. And the couple in the bottom three is… Twitch and Kherington! Whoa. They were definitely worse, but I did not see that coming. Wow.

Our Very Special Dancers this week are from the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. I honestly don’t have the words to describe this to y’all. It’s so beautiful. If you’re not familiar with them, YouTube is your friend. For real.

Solo time. Comfort comes out first and runes around a lot. I don’t know y’all, I just don’t see it. She’s fine, I guess. Thayne is next and… well, he’s really good. It’s graceful and interesting and strong. I don’t like him, but his solo is good. Next up we have Jessica. Let’s see… floaty shirt, black tight shorts, rolling around on the floor, high kicks… yup, it’s a female contemporary solo. Better than Comfort, for sure, but boring. Will comes out shirtless. Smart move. He is all muscles and leaps and flips. The last girl out is Kherington. She has all the same elements as Jessica, but less compelling. Meh. Last up is Twitch, bringing us the only solo tonight that actually feels choreographed and planned in advance. But it ends with what looks like a failed shirt ripping, so that’s not so good.

Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. And WOW, she is a bad performer.

Elimination time. They pull Kherington up first and call her brilliant. What? Really? She was obviously safe, but brilliant she was not. They don’t really like Jessica or Comfort, but the keep Jessica because sometimes she’s not awful. So sweet. Later Comfort!

Time for the guys, where we watch the judges pretend they had trouble before sending Thayne packing. Twitch is pulled out first and they say they are glad he was in the bottom three so we could see his solo. He is obviously safe. They tell Will he is as good as the Alvin Ailey guys (which, not quite), and they can’t lose him. Thayne is out. Awesome. He has a bright future ahead of him in toothpaste commercials.

I love it when things work out like I want them to. Top ten next week!

Some friends and I are doing a mix CD circle. The theme of this mix is ‘music from where you’re from’, which is completely awesome, as I am from Texas. Where all the good music comes from. Everyone knows that.

So! Here’s the CD I made. It has a very klassy title.

SCREW YOU, WE’RE FROM TEXAS
made by Brandi (hometown: Mesquite, TX)

1. That’s Right (You’re Not From Texas) – Lyle Lovett (hometown: Klein, TX)
This is how we want you to think we feel about you.

2. Don’t You Evah – Spoon (hometown: Austin, TX)
So you’ll know it’s not just about country music.

3. Luckenbach, Texas – Waylon Jennings (hometown: Littlefield, TX)
Every frat boy in Texas has a Luckenbach t-shirt.

4. Pride and Joy – Stevie Ray Vaughn (hometown: Oak Cliff, TX)
Your state doesn’t have a guitar player like him.

5. Peggy Sue – Buddy Holly (hometown: Lubbock, TX)
Did you know he was only 22 when he died? Me either.

6. I’m My Own Grandpa – Willie Nelson (hometown: Abbott, TX)
Willie Nelson’s voice just sounds like Texas.

7. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Miranda Lambert (hometown: Lindale, TX)
Forget Carrie. This girl is what young country should sound like.

8. Three Days – Pat Green (hometown: San Antonio, TX)
He was a lot better before he ‘made it’. Damn you, Nashville!

9. How It Should Be (Sha Sha) – Ben Kweller (hometown: Greenville, TX)
I’ve spent a lot of time in Greenville. He’s the coolest thing about that place.

10. Opposite Way – Leeland (hometown: Baytown, TX)
This kid writes some beautiful songs. Seriously.

11. Murder (Or a Heart Attack) – Old 97’s (hometown: Dallas, TX)
I like this song because it’s about his dog.

12. Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin (hometown: Port Arthur, TX)
This is a song of great social and political import.

13. Same Kind of Crazy – Delbert McClinton (hometown: Lubbock, TX)
This is possibly the truest love song I have ever heard.

14. Streets of Bakersfield – Buck Owens (hometown: Sherman, TX) & Dwight Yoakam
I’m cheating a bit, since Dwight’s not from Texas. But he should be.

15. Away – Toadies (hometown: Fort Worth, TX)
I lived in the same dorm room as their bass player, ten years later.

16. Sin Wagon – Dixie Chicks (hometown: Dallas, TX)
I will buy every record they ever put out.

17. I Thank You – ZZ Top (hometown: Houston, TX)
Sometimes I wish I was a guy so I could grow a ZZ Top beard.

18. She’s No Lady – Lyle Lovett (hometown: Klein, TX)
I could have put 22 Lyle Lovett songs on here and been totally happy with it.

19. Waiting On the Sun – Sixpence None the Richer (hometown: New Braunfels, TX)
In my next life I want to sing like Leigh Nash.

20. The Road Goes On Forever – Robert Earl Keen (hometown: Houston, TX)
This is the quintessential Texas storyteller song.

21. Beer Run – Todd Snider ((musical) hometown: San Marcos, TX)
If you don’t own any Todd Snider, go out right now and buy everything you find.

22. Screw You, We’re From Texas – Ray Wylie Hubbard (hometown: Austin, TX)
This is how we actually feel about you.

Do you ever have one of those days that starts off rocky and just goes downhill from there? The kind where you just keep talking, even though you know you should stop and you are annoyed with yourself for saying the words but they keep falling out of your mouth? The kind where all the stuff you were feeling good about turns out to not be so good after all?

I had that kind of day yesterday. And I was feeling pretty blah. Then I got in the car to find a live Lisa Loeb show playing on the radio. Lisa Loeb, the singer of “Stay”, the song that every girl my age knows every single word to, and also probably the only Lisa Loeb song anyone knows. And what song did she start singing right after I started listening? Stay! I couldn’t believe my good luck. I am always finding myself flipping over to a station just in time to hear the end of a song I love. But not this time! I tuned in just in time for that familiar acoustic guitar intro and Lisa singing, “You say… I only hear what I want to…” I turned it up, rolled down the windows, and sang and sang and sang.

I’m not saying it fixed all my problems. I’m not saying it negated all the crappy stuff that went down yesterday. But it certainly lightened my mood and made me evening better. And sometimes that’s all you can ask for.