On Our Way To Crazy

Sorry to be so complain-y. But it’s been that kind of week.

SUCKY THING THE FIRST

The Hills! It’s so bad this season, y’all. Now I know what you are thinking – it has always been bad. And you are right. But it’s always been more awesomely bad than just bad. Now? Just bad. Boo.

SUCKY THING THE SECOND

Our church meets in an elementary school. (That’s not the sucky part.) We, the youth group, meet in the cafeteria of the school. Recently the school board decided not to let churches use the classrooms anymore. What that means for us is that we have to hand the cafeteria over to the babies and children, leaving us homeless. This Sunday is our last week, and I have exactly five days to figure out a whole new plan for our group. I want to believe that we can move what we do to a weeknight and keep up the amazing momentum we’ve been building. But the truth is, if there’s nothing going on for parents at the same time, it’s hard to get non-driving kids to youth. And that sucks.

SUCKY THING THE THIRD

I wanted to show you guys a picture of my whole family in their matching plaid shorts that Nanny made, but I can’t find it. This is the best I can do (sorry, mom). Please note the matching hats.

SUCKY THING THE FOURTH

One of my most favorite kids is moving. This sucks for more than just the obvious reasons. This is a kid who had a hard time in high school but made it though. A kid with whom I have put in a million hours this summer to get prepared and registered for community college. A kid who is working hard to separate herself from her old life and her old friends and find a new way to live. A kid whose parents gave up parenting her several years ago. And, now, a kid whose dad has recently decided to act the part by issuing her an ultimatum. Whose dad made that decision three days before she was set to begin college, and weeks too late to get her registered where he is. A kid who has a support system for the first time in her life and who now has to start over in a new place. It’s weeks like these that make me wish I had some kind of legal means to make decisions for these kids.

SUCKY THING THE FIFTH

We are out of lime popsicles. I blame Aaron.

Hello, internet. It’s been a while.

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. My grandma passed away last weekend after a two week stint in the hospital fighting a variety of infections and organ failures before her body just couldn’t take it anymore. So I spent all of last week at my parents’ house in Dallas, doing the family thing and working on a picture slideshow and walking my laptop all around the house hoping to pick up a wireless connection somewhere.

I am sad. Because, y’all? My Nanny was awesome. I feel like I need to write some kind of poignant tribute about her life, but I don’t have that in me. She was crazy and funny and full of life and a fighter. Sappy isn’t fitting.

This is the woman who made 12 pairs of matching plaid bermuda shorts for a family golf tournament. The one who gave Aaron a roll of green felt as a gift and refused to tell him why. The one who, every year until she physically couldn’t do it anymore, made eggs and ham and piles of Texas toast for us every Christmas morning. And by us, I mean her six kids, eleven grandkids and eleven great-grandkids. That’s not even counting the spouses and assorted friends and other people who always seemed to find their way to her house. That’s a lot of toast.

She had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. She had room for everyone, and she took care of all of us. At the funeral, the pastor, who was one of her past Sunday school students, said we are all ‘disciples’ of Nanny. And he was right. She showed us what unconditional love looks like. She gave us all a place and a home.

As I have gotten older I have started to see how lucky we are. Growing up, you think everyone else is like you. It was a long time before I realized that not everyone has family get-togethers that involve upwards of 50 people, oceans of Dr. Pepper and more than one chocolate pie per person. We may have a lot of drama and issues and volume, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

But we wouldn’t have been able to hold it together without Nanny. She was the driving force behind all of it, and the backbone behind all of us. We are sad, but we are good. We have each other.

And… I’m being sappy. Sorry! But I am sad. Also, I am sad for you, because chances are if you are reading this you didn’t know her. And that sucks for you. Because she was awesome.

Do you ever find yourself in a mood you can’t define? I have been feeling really random lately. Sad, kind of, and emotional. Not depressed. Hopeful. Wistful. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things.

I’ve been looking for some new music and not having much luck. I’ve tried a few different things but nothing has struck the right chord with me. (Like that? Chord? Music? I think our band should be called the Chordvettes, like chords in our music.)

Then my friend Scott posted about a show he went to last weekend. I have heard good things about Brook Fraser, but he seemed to like this William Fitzsimmons guy better, so I decided to give him a shot. Scott has yet to steer me wrong.

You guys. YOU GUYS. The mood I’m in? That’s exactly what this music sounds like. William Fitzsimmons is my new boyfriend. (I had to move on from SYTYCD Mark now that the show is over and he’s not in my living room every week.) The combination of the acoustic guitar and his voice and the beats behind it all are exactly how I am feeling right now. Excellent.

It’s the finale! Finally! Let’s get this thing over with.

PERFORMANCE SHOW

Cat looks extra fabulous tonight. They really get it right with her about half the time.

I am just bummed out this season, y’all. I don’t really have any affection for any of these people. I did love Mark, but other than that, meh. The top four are hugging and smiling and I should be happy and excited. But I’m not. Bummer.

Jidges! Mandy Moore is our guest judge, so no routine from her. I hope we get a Sonja. My money is on Mia choreographing Katee tonight… maybe with Courtney?

Our first couple tonight is Courtney and Twitch, choreographed by NapTab. They call it raw, and say it’s about a crazy girlfriend looking for her boyfriend at the club. Shockingly, the crazy girlfriend character comes easily for Courtney.

This one is pretty fun. They pull it off awesomely, of course. They are totally in character and they dance it well. He is seriously taller than her, though, and it kind of looks awkward. There’s not a ton of dancing passages where they have to really do much, and it’s a lot of running around and making faces and fake fighting. But it’s fun.

Mandy thinks they are awesome pulled off the characters really well. Mary squeals and yells. I was watching clips from past seasons, and it really showed how over the top she is now. Just last season she was calm and coherent and about two octaves lower than she is this season. I am so over it. Nigel calls it fun and perfect, but says they lost momentum in the middle. In a perfect way, I guess.

This week we’re getting a more in depth video with each contestant, talking about where they come from and how the show has been for them so far. They are long, and interesting, and I am not recapping them. I appreciate them, though. Good stuff.

Courtney solos first, in a shirt that I think is made of a vinyl table cloth. Spinny reachy rolly contemporary solo. Hopefully we’re done with those for the season. Also, the judges are critiquing solos, but I am not recapping that either. This thing is already going to be a million words.

Katee and Joshua are next with a Wade Robson routine. It’s a routine about a couple having a big fight and making up. I hate how much I am going to like this.

Well crap, y’all. This actually made me tear up. TEARS. What is wrong with me? It’s very un-Wade like. It’s really beautiful and emotional, and it really captures something true to life, I think. This isn’t some big blow out yelling fight. It’s the kind that has you up talking at 3am with puffy eyes and a brick in your stomach because you can’t see how it will ever get worked out. But you figure it out. They just danced that. Dang. Wade=awesome. Also, Katee=awesome. I hate her solos, but she is amazing in these contemporary routines.

Mandy calls it honest and says anyone could relate to the story they were telling. Mary thought it was beautiful and they are magical together. Nigel talks for about twenty minutes and basically says he liked it.

It’s Katee and Courtney time! They get broadway with Tyce. I hope this goes better than the Heidi and Donyelle fiasco from season two.

Oh, the costumes are really bad. They are supposed to be two girls who miss a trolley and then hang out together in floofy dresses and parasols. It’s very frolicky. They do some cool stuff with the parasols, throwing and catching and spinning them, and it’s pretty cute. It’s fine, but not amazing.

Mandy says they did a good job and it was fun to watch them dance together, but she is very unenthusiastic about it. Mary says umbrellas are difficult as props but they pulled it off and looked effortless. Nigel takes a moment to tell Courtney that Katee is better than her, but no one would have noticed if he hadn’t pointed it out. Nice.

Twitch’s solo is pretty fabulous. Definitely his best one of the season. I remember now why he’s on this show and why I was so excited when he made it. I don’t think he should be top four, especially over Will and Mark, but this is really great.

Joshua and Twitch are next, and the audience goes nuts. And… they are doing a Russian trepak, which is that dance where someone is squatted down and bouncing and kicking. Whoa. I was totally expecting hip hop. This should be interesting.

There’s a girl standing behind Cat on the tower holding a sign proposing to Twitch. That’s gonna get annoying.

Joshua does about a million toe touches about ten million miles in the air. Twitch… walks around. Joshua does a backflip, Twitch walks on his knees. Joshua spins around in the air a bunch of times, Twitch jumps around. Seriously, Joshua blows Twitch out of the water in this one.

Mandy praises their athletic ability and lets them trash talk a lot. Then we have a jumping contest that Joshua totally wins. Mary calls them fabulous entertainers and talks about how glad she is that we have two hip hop dancers in the finals, like they would have had it any other way. Nigel says it was a routine that will be remembered for years to come. Hmmm.

Katee jerks and flails around to Imogen Heap. I know I have said this a million times already, but she is not good in solos. Her routines are great, her solos are bad.

Katee and Twitch are doing a foxtrot and they have a hard time with the frame and footwork. They are supposed to be romantic together. Katee is glad to finally get a routine where she gets the boy at the end instead of chasing them around all the time.

This is pretty good, I think. Katee is all ruffles and fringe and Twitch does a good job lifting her up. They don’t actually do a whole lot of partner dancing, and when they do it’s kind of awkward. Overall I think it goes okay, though.

Mandy praises the lift and says they were beautiful. Mary calls Twitch smooth and controlled and says they blew her away. Nigel says Katee has been great in everything they’ve asked her to do and says they were fantastic.

Joshua pops and locks his way all around the studio and does most of his solo up on the judges platform. He is good. I think he is going to win. They are certainly selling him to us.

Courtney and Joshua are paired up for the jive. It looks like it’s fast and tricky and fun. We will see.

Um, Courtney is wearing some kind of red leotard fringe thing with knee high boots, and Joshua is wearing jeans and a brown leather jacket. What is happening here? These costumes do not go together at all. The routine is fun… it’s really fast with lots of tricks and they do a good job. I am just so distracted by what they are wearing.

Mandy was impressed by how easy they made the whole thing look. Mary says the routine was hard enough on it’s own without all the tricks the had to do on top of it and they did an amazing job. Nigel says it didn’t have the feel a jive should have, it wasn’t bouncy and fun enough. He says they were tired and not great and he wants to be honest so they will learn. Lame.

Our last routine is all four dancers working together on a Mia Michaels contemporary. Will this be as memorable as the model dance? I think not. I don’t even remember what the top four routine was last year.

They come out pulling this seriously enormous purple satin sheet around the stage. Then they run around and jump a lot, all in plaid dresses and kilts. It’s really kind of insane. There are some weird moves and some cool lifts, but when they are all doing the same movements they are not together. It’s fine, but it’s no model dance. Have I mentioned the model dance? It was pretty awesome. You should watch it.

Mandy says they are super tired but as a dancer you have to learn to deal with that and they did a good job. She calls them amazing. Mary specifically praises Twitch and Katee and tells Courtney she fell short. Nice. Nigel, AGAIN, talks about how the guys are untrained. WE KNOW. WE KNOW YOU WANT A HIP HOP GUY TO WIN. WE GET IT. I don’t even care what else he says. I am so over this.

My favorite: Joshua and Katee’s contemporary

RESULTS SHOW

So… it’s Sunday, and you guys all know who won, but I don’t, so I am still going to recap this, but it’s gonna be much less detailed and interesting than usual. I really just want to be done. I don’t think I totally knew what I was getting into with this idea! It has taken over my life. Unless somehow there was a coup and Mark managed to win, I just don’t care that much.

The whole top 20 come out for the intros. Man, I really liked Kourtni and Matt. I wish they had lasted longer. Also, Will or Mark should have been top four over Twitch for sure, and maybe over Joshua. Did you guys know I thought that? I can’t remember if I mentioned it.

There are six judges on the panel, but sadly the awesome Sonja isn’t one of them. Adam talks again about how the winner gets a role in his next movie, which is Step Up 3D. Interesting. I will definitely not be seeing that.

Season recap! Fun. I liked this season more than I thought.

Top 20 routine. Shane Sparks! Get out! I didn’t think he could do this show. The routine is pretty great and has a sweet Gev feature where he kind of bounces across the floor and all the girls jump over him. At the end the top four are left standing while everyone else falls to the floor. Cool.

We are now in the portion of the show where the judges pick their favorite routines from the season. I am not going to rerecap this stuff, so I will just list them for you.

Nigel picks Bollywood with Katee and Joshua. Mary picks Courtney and Gev’s rumba.

Next we have that dance battle between weird popper guys Robert and Philip they alluded to early in the season. I am fast forwarding this… it looks a lot cooler sped up. Plus I can’t really see what they’re doing because apparently it’s really important that I know that 41 people voted for Barry Barlow in the school district elections. Awesome.

Adam picks Twitch and Comfort’s hip hop. Lil C picks Mark and Chelsea’s hip hop (yay!).

And… now Mary is dancing with Dimitri. What is happening here? She is wearing a super short fringy red dress. Yikes. This is awkward. And no one is talking about it afterward. It just happened and went away. Weird.

Mia picks Katee and Will’s pas de deux. Ok, seriously y’all. How can anyone watch this and think Joshua or Twitch should be the winner of this show? That guy is unreal.

Adam is up again and he picks Courtney and Mark’s jazz routine with Sonja. I love this one. I think it might be my favorite of the whole season.

Results time! The pull all four on stage and let us know that…Courtney is not America’s favorite dancer. Well, yeah.

The top five guys come out and reprise their “Five Guys Named Moe” routine, which I really liked even if it was choreographed by Nigel.

Next up we have the cast of a show that has Chris Angel in the title, so I am definitely not interested. Except it’s choreographed by Wade Robson, so maybe I am a little. It’s an ‘homage to innocent rabbits killed by incompetent magicians’, and it’s a bunch of creepy people dancing around in rabbit costumes Seriously. Creepy.

Results again! The next person out of the competition is… Katee. Well, there you go. They got their hip hop guy winner. Hey, at least she gets fifty thousand dollars.

The Debbie Allen Dance Academy comes out and dances. They are cute. Nigel participates. It is not cute.

Mary picks Twitch and Katee’s contemporary with the door. Meh.

The Jonas Brothers perform. I am not recapping this.

Debbie picks Twitch and Kherington’s… waltz? They don’t tell us what it is. It looks waltzy. Oh! This is the one that was for Tony’s daughter. Right.

Nigel picks Katee and Joshua’s hip hop from the first episode. It is good.

Video montage of past contestants! Allison does not look good. Donyell is getting married! We don’t hear from Danny or Pasha! Sad. I still heart Travis.

Ok. Sitting through this whole show was totally worth it for this. It’s a bunch of people from past seasons! Dancing! Travis! Anya with Dimitri! Oh, this brings me joy. See how good it used to be?

And it’s time for the winner. FINALLY. My money’s on Joshua. Am I right?

The winner is… JOSHUA! I am awesome. I’m glad it was him over Twitch for sure.

So there it is! We made it through the season. Yay.

Yesterday we took our youth group to Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana. And yes, it is just as awesome as it sounds. I planted myself in the water park and spent the whole day going down giant slides in tubes and playing in the wave pool. It was an excellent day.

On the way home, the kids started casting the movie of our youth group. It’s a stellar cast: Owen and Luke Wilson, Queen Latifah, Micheal Cera, Jessicas Alba, Biel and Simpson, the girl who plays Juno, Dakota Fanning, the Olsen twins, most of the cast of Gossip Girl, the Target lady from SNL and John C. Reilly. You know you want to see it when it comes out.

It took them a while to decide who should play me and Aaron. There was much discussion on all three vans. Here’s what they decided.

The role of Aaron will be played by Seth Rogen. This is because he is cute in a nontraditional way, very funny, slightly inappropriate but good-natured and fun.

The role of Brandi will be played by Lorelai Gilmore. Not Lauren Graham, Lorelai. This is because she understands teenage girls, will tell you when you’re being stupid and talks really fast about books and movies no one else has read or seen.

What do you think? I think they make a pretty good couple. Here they are, making the same faces we usually make while talking to the kids.

I know, I know. You’ve been sitting there at your desk all day, pretending to work. You’ve got a spreadsheet minimized so you can pull it up when your boss walks by so she can’t see what you’re really doing. But! No worries! You can stop pouring over the internet looking for the perfect birthday gift for me. I am here to tell you what to buy.

These are the things that would make me oh so very happy on Sunday. I am, of course, working within the confines of your unlimited Brandi budget.

I think this dress would be perfect for my upcoming high school reunion, don’t you? Maybe with these shoes?

Perfect. Thanks. I will send you a thank you text with the new phone I know you are dying to buy for me. I’m sure you are tired of my annoying whining about how my current phone freezes and dies all the time. This is really a gift for both of us, you know?

What’s that? You’d prefer to get something for the house? No problem. How about something of the handmade variety? Say, from etsy?

I have had this print in my favorites for ages:

This one would look great on my bookshelf.

I am also, in case you didn’t know, a big fan of jewelry. You know, like these perfect earrings to wear with jeans and a black tank top:

Or this super cute necklace:

So there you go! I have solved your dilemma. I know it’s hard to shop for someone as important to you as I am, but I have no shame in telling you what to get.

I am not, as a general rule, one to just post song lyrics and call it a day. But the last couple of days have been tough, and I don’t want to write about it, so I’m cheating a little bit today. And since the other, significantly cooler Brandi is much better with the words than I am, I am letting her write for me today.

DOWNPOUR
by Brandi Carlile

I’m like the rain in a downpour
I wash away what you long for
And I wave goodbye with the sun in my eyes
I wish I could be there tonight

I’m like the wind in the canyon
I’m there then I’m gone in a second
You’re growing older in peace where you’re at
I wish I could be there for that
But I’ve moved on
Like a rolling stone
In a crowded room
I’m alone

I’m like the rain in a downpour
I wash away what you long for
And I wave goodbye with the sun in my eyes
I wish I could be there tonight

You’re like the tide in the deep blue
Cause you’re always there when I need you
And when you need someone to carry you through
I’m gonna be there for you
I’m gonna be there for you

July 1 – My friend Julie came to visit and my sister got a new apartment!
July 2 – We took the kids rock climbing and it was SO FUN.
July 3 – Fun night out with some new friends and some delicious flatlander enchiladas.
July 4 – Sounds game! Fireworks and beer!
July 5 – I bought a little wooden carved figure of a mexican wrestler named TORTURA.
July 6 – I heard Lisa Loeb on the radio. It was kind of a rough day.
July 7 – I had a great talk with a new parent.
July 8 – I finally figured out the camp rooming conundrum I had been in for two weeks.
July 9 – We had a t-shirt making party at the church where two kids made me what is possibly the ugliest shirt of all time.
July 10 – Took a few girls out to lunch along with a brand new girl to try and help her get more comfortable in the group.
July 11 – The loser boyfriend of one of my girls’ mom got arrested and is potentially out of their lives. This is very good.
July 12 – Last minute camp shopping trip. I love that shopping trip.
July 13 – Fun lunch with our care group people.
July 14 – We took 32 people to camp at 5am and no one died!
July 15 – A girl who has probably said three words in two years finally opened up and poured her heart out to me.
July 16 – I played Angelina Jolie in a youth pastor skit and I think people were laughing with me, not at me.
July 17 – In our church group time the high schoolers got all emotional about how thankful they are for our group and how we provide a safe place for them to be.
July 18 – We all wore our ugly green puff painted shirts to service and no one laughed at us.
July 19 – We brought 32 people home from camp and no one died!
July 20 – We took some of our kids to see an excellent Jackson Waters show.
July 21 – I finally got all the camp pictures uploaded and organized.
July 22 – Two of my favorite girls gave me a super early and super awesome birthday present.
July 23 – Pool party! With duplex cookies! And lots of Dr. Pepper! And noodle guns!
July 24 – A new friend had a baby and I got to hang out with them at the hospital.
July 25 – After spending several weeks trying, we finally got a kid registered for college. Now we just have to get her to go.
July 26 – We made it to six years of marriage and we’re still alive! And we ate amazing italian food from the most random hole in the wall place.
July 27 – Five. Hour. Nap.
July 28 – We stayed in a fancy hotel and played in a fancy pool and hung out on a fancy balcony and ate decidedly non-fancy ribs.
July 29 – I spent the evening talking books with one of my very non-bookish kids.
July 30 – I visited a kid in the hospital with lots of needles and medicine and sickness and not only is he going to be okay but I didn’t pass out! Big day.
July 31 – I had blood drawn! And didn’t die!