On Our Way To Crazy

I keep meaning to post. I do. But I feel so scattered that I can’t figure out what to write about.

The past couple of weeks have been kind of discouraging. I feel stuck in a holding pattern with no way out for at least a few months.

I am kind of tired of people. I think I am over them. Which would be cool if mine and Aaron’s jobs didn’t totally revolve around them.

Things aren’t all bad these days. They are actually mostly good. The leaves are changing and the hills near our house look like they’re on fire. The good parts of our jobs are really good. It’s sweater and ballet flats season. I bought a new and awesome bright blue coat. We finally finished all the leftover candy from Aaron’s party. Miles is still extra cute.

But I just feel down. I feel stuck in a rut. I have the itch for change that I had hoped was going to go away once we settled into this new good life. But it’s back.

I want to redecorate. I want to buy all new clothes. I want a new haircut. I want to add on to our house. I want to go out of town.

I want to have one full day, 24 blissful hours, in which no drama from any people anywhere have any affect on me or Aaron or our sanity. I want to worry about my own sanity for a minute. Not someone else’s.

The holidays are here. Did y’all know that? It’s the middle of November. I don’t really know how that happened.

I need to plan an orphan Thanksgiving. Are you in Nashville? Is your family far away? Do you want to come over? Can you bring a pumpkin pie?

We decided to fly home for Christmas this year. It’s possibly the best decision we have made in the history of our marriage. We’ll be in Texas for a week and we won’t have to drive for 26 hours to make it happen.

That’s good.

My new free ipod is freaking awesome. I have so much joy in my life and in my car these days. Radio? What? I don’t need no stinking radio. I can listen to Band of Horses and Dwight Yoakam and Eef Barzalay and Counting Crows at the touch of my finger. It is what heaven will be like.

That’s good too.

Things are good. And the discouraging things will pass. Some of them have already started. They’ve just been overwhelming me lately, so instead of opening up the big empty white box and trying to fill it up I have been choosing Real Simple magazine and 90210 reruns.

Not that those are bad things. They are awesome things, actually. But I want to do more with my brain. I want to be creative and informed and interesting and artsy. Or at least articulate.

We’ll see what happens.