On Our Way To Crazy

I almost had a heart attack the other day. And Ticketmaster is to blame.

I got word that Flight of the Conchords had a show coming up at the Ryman. Flight of the Conchords! At the Ryman! Could anything be more perfect? Ever? No. It could not.

I started digging around. I got the presale password. I was online at 9:50 before the tickets went on sale at 10:00. Everything was ready to go.

Then! I got tickets! In the balcony! I took them, clicked purchase, and was on my way.

That’s when things got ugly. Apparently the card I usually use on Ticketmaster had expired and I needed to update my info. No problem, right?

WRONG. There was nowhere to update my card, and then my time ran out. Boo.

But hope was not lost. That was just the presale, right? I could totally still get tickets when they went on sale to the general public.

I updated all my card info and was ready to go. I knew I had to be on top of my ticket-buying-internet-wielding-card-charging game. I knew I had to take whatever tickets they gave me. There would be no second chances. My ticket selling brother-in-law had informed me that this was the hottest ticket in the country. (He, of course, did not see that coming and could not help me out.)

10:00. I am in. I have seats. They are terrible, but I am buying them. I click purchase. I check my purchase info. Everything is good. I confirm.

And then. THEN. Ticketmaster asked me to re-enter my personal info. Which I did. Then it asked me to do it again. So I did it again. And again. And again. I am confirming my name and address over and over and over and over… and then my five minutes ran out. My tickets were gone. The show was sold out.

I don’t know what Ticketmaster has against me. I have been a faithful customer for ages, paying exorbitant services fees for tickets to shows all over the country. So why, for this one FREAKING AMAZING show, did it turn on me? Why did it decide to break my sweet little heart? Why don’t I get to hang out at the Ryman with my friends Bret and Jemaine? I know they would like me. We need to be friends. I know all the words to Hippopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous!

I wish I could quit you, Ticketmaster. But you know I’ll be back. Ben Folds is coming in April. You have won the battle, but you will not win the war!