On Our Way To Crazy

So I haven’t been blogging much lately. I mean, obviously. But I didn’t really realize it until I looked at this site and saw that there are multiple “Good Things” posts on the front page. I only posted five times in February. I don’t like that.

It’s been tricky for me this year, though. This blogging thing. I don’t want to be all lists and bullet points and memes. But those are easy. Real posts are hard. And I am tired of hard.

The truth is that 2009 has kind of sucked for me so far. It’s getting better, exponentially better, and I am glad for that. But it feels weird to just start writing about the good stuff and ignoring the fact that January and February were really, really hard.

Nothing major happened. No disease, no death, no long-term job loss. But lots of little things happened. I got down about my relationships here in Nashville. I got really homesick and started shopping for houses in Dallas. The budget for the youth building pretty much disappeared. I felt like I was doing a lot of work to try and hold people together and be supportive and make things happen in the different groups I operate within, but no one was doing those things for me. I curled way up inside my own head and before I knew it I had convinced myself that everyone had turned on me and I was all alone in the world. And Aaron was dealing with a lot of the same stuff, turning our house into one big grey cloud.

But things are getting better. Aaron and I have both seen some success professionally that has helped re-validate our living here. I got to go home and visit my family and friends, which refreshed me and also reminded me that I don’t really want to buy a house in Dallas. (Sorry, Mom.) Progress is slowly being made on the youth building, and while it won’t be ready on time, I am almost okay with that. A few out-of-nowhere gifts (a homemade card with a goofy picture from college! Gorgeous tulips! A BEDAZZLED SNUGGIE!) from friends helped me see that I do have people who care about and are thinking of me. It finally warmed up outside.

We are on the upswing. I have a lot to be excited about this year. My perspective is changing. The sun is breaking through.

Hopefully that will translate into more writing around here. I want to have a better record of my life and thoughts. I don’t want to look back at 2009 and have no real idea of what was going on. I’m good at keeping up with the good stuff, but the bad stuff matters, too. I need to remember it all.