On Our Way To Crazy

Remember our crazy neighbor, the guy who grows corn in his front yard? Along with, we learned a while back, all kinds of assorted vegetables all around his house? We found out last week that one of our other neighbors is fed up with living in the middle of a farm and decided to do something about it. So they offered to pay corn-growing guy whatever amount of money he saves by growing his own food in exchange for him not making crop circles on the corner.

Corn-growing guy? Declined.

We leave for camp in fifteen days and I am seriously stressing out. I think God protects me from myself by making me forget how much freaking work goes into this business. I am really excited, though – we are going to a new place and taking a ton of new kids and I think it’s going to be great. I hope so, anyway. It’s been a rough year and we need something good and group-building to come our way.

I have recently developed an obsession with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I eat them all the time. I think it might be the stress. It’s hard to be stressed when you’re eating PB&J.

I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Michael Jackson. I am unclear on whether or not my imaginary friend was ACTUALLY Michael Jackson or if that was just his name, but we spent a lot of time together.

It’s so weird to me that he has passed away. I was a huge fan in the 80′s. It’s such a weird dichotomy – how are we supposed to feel? Do you just celebrate the good and ignore the bad? That’s what I’m going with. He was an icon. He was a tragic figure. By the end he was a caricature of himself. But he gave us the moonwalk and Thriller and Rockin’ Robin. And for that I am grateful.

I’ve found myself with a new kind of youth dilemma these past few weeks – the graduates. Not what to do with them, exactly… we have a slowly developing college program and most of them are doing well wherever they are. But what is our relationship supposed to look like now? I can’t be the every day support I used to be. I have a new group and a whole different dynamic to manage now. But I don’t want to just disappear from their lives, either. The transition has been tougher than I expected and has created some definitely unnecessary drama. Ugh.

I have finally fully committed to the summer dress-wearing plan I have been trying so hard to implement over the past few years. The oppressive thousand-degree weather we’ve been having combined with some great sales has provided me all the motivation I need. Goodbye, jeans.

I want a boat. And a lake house. And a screened-in porch. And one of those floats that’s mesh in the middle so you can just kind of sit in the water. And then happiness will be mine.

I am obsessed with strawberries these days. I am going through them like nobody’s business. So the other day when I needed a dessert for a meeting, I immediately thought of strawberries. Then I thought of cupcakes. Then I googled a bit and looked in the pantry and concocted a strawberry cupcake recipe based on what I could find.

I was pretty nervous – I am a by-the-book baker for sure. I don’t trust myself to make substitutions or change measurements or differ from what’s written down AT ALL. But I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted, so I decided to wing it. And they were delicious. I was so impressed with myself.

STRAWBERRY CUPCAKES

Ingredients:
1-1/2 cup strawberries
1-1/2 cups flour, sifted
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup buttermilk
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 stick unsalted butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs

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8 oz. cream cheese, room temp
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp
3 cups powdered sugar

Directions for cupcakes:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add strawberries to food processor or blender and blend until pureed. Wisk together flour, salt and baking powder in medium bowl. In a small bowl, mix together buttermilk, strawberries and vanilla.

In another bowl (or stand mixer), cream butter until light and fluffy. Add sugar slowly and continue to beat until well combined. Add the eggs one at a time until just combined.

Add half the flour mixture and mix until combined. Add half the milk mixture until combined. Repeat, scraping down sides with a spatula, until everything is mixed together.

Divide batter into prepared muffin cups and bake 10-13 minutes (for mini cupcakes) or 20-25 minutes (for regular cupcakes) or until a toothpick comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely before icing.

Directions for icing:

Cream together cream cheese and butter until creamy. Slowly add powdered sugar, mixing until combined.

I think Miles is kind of depressed. Possibly because someone stuck a stick up his butt this afternoon.

I took Miles to the vet today. Holy pajamas, y’all, that is an experience. The problem is this – Miles hates the car. HATES the car. But I don’t think he knows he hates the car. I open the carrier? He hops right in. I put him in the car? He’s totally fine. The car moves? END OF THE WORLD.

So we’re in the car. I am driving and singing along with Ben Folds and trying really hard to drown out the wailing and gnashing of teeth that’s going on in the backseat. We drive the thousand miles to the vet (that we unfortunately LOVE, which sucks because it’s not all that close to the house) and I put the leash on Miles and get him out of the car and into the building. I’m trying to talk to the girl at the desk and get checked in. Miles is shaking from head to toe and plotting his escape.

The exam goes mostly okay. Miles, contrary to his general demeanor, is pretty mild-mannered at the vet. She gives him shots, pokes around his ears and face, and sticks the aforementioned stick where the sun don’t shine. We were almost done. And then I made my tragic mistake.

See, Miles has been a little limpy lately. Nothing crazy, but he favors his front left paw every now and then and lets his right just kind of hang there when he’s running. So I asked about it. Which prompted an in depth leg exam, including shaving some fur from between the pads on the bottom of his feet. And that’s where it got ugly. My mellow, laid-back, cooperative dog started flopping around like a fish out of water and snapping at the assistant. Snapping at her! Granted, he doesn’t have any teeth and can’t hurt her, but still. Unacceptable.

We managed to get everything checked out and fixed up, finally, her giving me instructions on what to look for and me apologizing profusely. Then I paid them ten bazillion dollars and we were on our way.

I will tell you one thing – if you want a dog to calm the heck down on the drive back home, just hold him down on a table for a bit while someone pokes and prods him and pulls on his feet. He will be THRILLED to get back in that carrier where no one can get to him. Then, when you get home, give him a treat. And give yourself one, too. Like a hugemongous glass of wine.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

I am thankful that I grew up in a music house. Even though I never really learned any instruments (SORRY!), there was always music. We listened to America’s Country Coundown on Sunday mornings while we ate breakfast. Stevie Ray Vaughn was always on ACL on the television. You were always playing Crosby Stills Nash & Young songs on the guitar in your chair.

I remember one day I was sitting at the table doing my homework and singing “Landslide” under my breath, a song I thought was by the Smashing Pumpkins. After a confusing conversation about why I was singing an old Fleetwood Mac song, you made me get up, go to the gameroom and listen to the ‘real’ version. Which, as we all now know, is usually the best version.

They may not have stuck, but for a while there I had all kinds of musical talents. I could play the intro to “Wanted Dead of Alive” on the keyboard, the intro to “Daytripper” on the guitar, the marimba solo to “Margaritaville” on my little bells set from the junior high band. I don’t know a lot of other dads who were teaching their kids that stuff.

You taught me a lot of stuff, Dad – not to follow the crowds, to think for myself, that white gravy is delicious on eggs. But today I am most thankful for the music. The desire to find new bands, to see my favorite bands live, to amass as many individual songs onto my ipod as possible.

I don’t understand the non-music people. I blame you for that.

Thank you.

In the past couple of weeks we have scored tickets to both WICKED and Counting Crows at the Ryman. WICKED! Counting Crows at the Ryman! Are you kidding me? I am dying of excitement and the shows aren’t for months.

Remedy Drive’s song, “All Along”, is still number one at radio. That’s FIVE WEEKS straight. This is very exciting.

We had a junior high girls sleepover on Friday night at the church. That is my most favorite group. (Don’t tell the other kids.) They are just so much fun, I can’t even stand it. We did a video scavenger hunt (one group got a cop to draw a chalk line around a girl in front of a crowded movie theater), played the wii, made up stories and flamingoed the senior pastor’s house. It was a good night.

I have been rereading the Harry Potter books over the past several weeks. Have you read Harry Potter? You should read Harry Potter. Aaron came in the other day and said that, for having read something ten thousand times, I was concentrating awfully hard. I had to explain to him that it was because I didn’t want to miss anything. That they are so awesome that you are completely engaged and enamored with that world every time. That I would move to Hogwarts if I could. I don’t think he gets it.

So You Think You Can Dance is back on! Happy day! I am not kidding when I say it’s the best show on TV. I love everything about it. I didn’t even know I loved dance until I started watching it; now I am the kind of person who will sit all day watching an America’s Best Dance Crew marathon. It’s just so joyful and fun. LOVE.

This afternoon Aaron went to play disc golf with some of the youth group boys. I decided to check out some open houses in the neighborhood, because I really love our neighborhood and also because I am nosy. I was standing in the kitchen of one house when I heard a familiar voice. I came around the corner to find DON AND LORI CHAFFER of Waterdeep in the living room. Waterdeep! My favorite favorite! It was very exciting. We run into people we love every now and then in town, but I am always to scared to look like an idiot so I don’t say anything. But this time I did! I am so impressed with myself. I stopped Lori in the driveway as we were walking out and introduced myself and told her I am a big fan of them and I would be mad at myself if I didn’t say anything. Then we had a conversation about the neighborhood (they just moved to Nashville) and soon we will be BFFs. Get pumped.

I love this commercial. I want to hire that guy to be my personal driver. And we will just drive around singing Biz Markie songs all day long.

Next time you need to take snacks to a party or an appetizer for an event, you have to make these. There is nothing healthy about them at all. You may have a heart attack after the first one. But it will be worth it.

PIONEER WOMAN’S HOLIDAY BACON APPETIZERS

Club crackers
Grated parmesan cheese (the stuff in the green can)
Bacon (one package will make about 28 pieces)

Lay crackers (as many as you want) on a cookie sheet.

Spoon a heaping quarter teaspoon of parmesan onto each cracker. (PW says to use a teaspoon, but I found that to be WAY too much.)

Cut the package of bacon in half. Carefully, so the cheese doesn’t fall off, wrap half a piece of bacon snugly around each cracker.

Place crackers on cooling rack on a baking sheet.

Bake at 250. PW says two hours, but mine were done at an hour and a half. Just watch them once you get close to the end – the bacon should cook through but not burn.

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During a trip to Trader Joe’s with my parents, the lady at the sample counter handed us these little bowls of berries with sauce on them. She made us taste it before telling us what it was, which was smart, because it sounds pretty gross. But it turned out to be fantastic, and I have consumed a ridiculous amount in the past few days.

TRADER JOE’S FRUIT DIP

1 16oz container of sour cream (I like fat free, the texture is perfect)
1/2 cup of brown sugar

Combine. That’s it. Dip some berries in. It’s delicious.

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A while back, my dad started experimenting with making pies. When we were shopping for our cookout this past weekend, he came across some key limes and decided to make a pie. He decided to go with regular limes, though, because key limes are a lot of work.

BRANDI’S DAD’S REGULAR LIME PIE, BECAUSE KEY LIMES ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT

3 egg yolks
1 14oz can condensed milk
1/2 cup lime juice (the juice of 4 to 6 limes)
3 tbsp water
graham cracker crust

1 cup whipping cream
2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla

Beat egg yolks with a wire whisk or fork. Gradually whisk in condensed milk. Add in lime juice and water. Mix well. (Mixture will thicken.)

Chill a metal bowl and the beaters on mixer.

Spoon filling into pie crust. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for one hour. Cover and chill for 3 to 4 hours. Meanwhile, beat the whipping cream, vanilla and sugar until soft peaks form. Spread onto pie and serve.

Sometime back in April, Southwest was doing these one-day half-price sales to different locations. Each sale was only available for 24 hours. One day I woke up and, thanks to Twitter, learned that the location for that day was Nashville. I called my parents, they said they would look into it, and I didn’t give it another thought.

Now you may not know this about me and my family, but we are kind of last minute people. I have gotten better after seven years with Aaron the thinker-aheader, but my roots are still there. So it came as no surprise when, at 11:45 that night, my mom called me in a panic because she couldn’t get the website to work.

After some panicking, a few phone calls to the airline and several attempts to sign up for a rewards account, we booked the tickets. And this past weekend, my parents made the trip.

I picked them up at the airport on Thursday morning and took them straight to Noshville, home of the dancing pickle and the best breakfast in town. After a good long nap and a brief incident with a busted tire, we had dinner at Kalamata’s (where they know our names and give us free dessert) and headed home to bed.

Friday was a long but awesome day. We started out with a trip to Trader Joe’s, where my parents experienced the awesomeness of ginger cat cookies, caramel clouds and chipotle pepper hummus. Then we loaded up the Jeep, made a quick flamingo stop, and headed down to Lynchburg where we toured the Jack Daniels distillery.

We’ve talked about going there for ages, but just never made it. We were missing out. It was really really fun. I had no idea. I don’t even like whiskey, but it made me want to drink some. The whole process of how they make that stuff is crazy, and it was really entertaining to see.

After the tour we had dinner at the freaking awesome BBQ Caboose in downtown Lynchburg because the internet told us to. All we knew was that it was a small place with a live ‘classic country’ band. So when we walked in and they asked for our reservation, we were a little surprised. Lucky for us, the Andersons were out of town, so we were able to sit at their table. We ate our barbecue chicken, potato salad, red beans and rice and DELICIOUS peach cobbler and ice cream and listened to the musical stylings of Mama Tried. And even though Aaron and I were the youngest people there by about 40 years, we had a great time.

Saturday we ran all over town all day and threw together a cookout for a bunch of our friends. We had a great evening in the backyard playing bocce ball, pitching washers, drinking blueberry beer and eating my dad’s from-scratch (non key) lime pie. Recipe to come.

Sunday was slow and relaxing, which was perfect, because we needed to rest up for Monday. Because Monday? We took the NASH TRASH TOUR. You guys. Oh my gosh. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Singing, dancing, swingers jokes, passed crackers and spray cheese, extremely old country star gossip… it was hilarious. At one point they were just pointing out random people on the street and calling them celebrities. We saw Boyz II Men, the Village People (who had put on a little weight), Emmylou Harris, Garth Brooks, Vince Gill, the list goes on and on. It was so much fun.

After the tour I took my parents to a new burger place I’d read about that turned out to be really delicious, took a quick shopping trip with my mom and we headed to the airport.

It was a great weekend, as always, and it was hard to say goodbye, as always. I know it’s the right thing for us to live in Nashville, and I wouldn’t trade our life here for the world. I just wish Nashville and Dallas were a bit closer.

May 1 – We took advantage of a rainy night and stayed in watching movies.
May 2 – Delicious crepes and fabulous pedicure with Susan.
May 3 – My junior high girls really got into a discussion about the fruits of the spirit.
May 4 – Good bonding time at a youth leader cookout.
May 5 – I finally booked the Nash Trash tour for my parents’ visit.
May 6 – Our junior high group helped the elementary kids with a service project and didn’t whine or complain at all.
May 7 – Lunch out with some friends I hadn’t seen in ages.
May 8 – I was greeted by a million pink flamingos when I walked into my office.
May 9 – Fun night with friends and the band.
May 10 – My junior high girls did announcements in main service and rocked it.
May 11 – We grilled fajitas and made homemade guacamole.
May 12 – A big stress was finally relieved for me.
May 13 – I treated a friend to a fun, wine-filled lunch for her birthday.
May 14 – I started my Harry Potter reread.
May 15 – Great girls night out with our small group girls.
May 16 – We treated ourselves to a long, lazy dinner out. It helped.
May 17 – We had a sad but joyful going away party for our music pastor.
May 18 – Tough but good college discussion with a senior.
May 19 – Late night flamingoing with a couple of kids.
May 20 – We had a good meeting with our new music pastor and the whole team.
May 21 – So You Think You Can Dance started! Get pumped!
May 22 – Aaron and I almost got mauled by a dog while flamingoing but got away just in time using our catlike speed and reflexes.
May 23 – Graduations! Graduations! Graduations!
May 24 – Unexpectedly good discussion in youth group.
May 25 – Delicious Memorial Day picnic for two.
May 26 – LONG overdue lunch with my first Nashville friend.
May 27 – We got freaking awesome tickets for Counting Crows at the Ryman! The day after my birthday!
May 28 – Aaron went out of town and I watched movies all night.
May 29 – Oh my gosh, y’all. Super Target. I want one.
May 30 – I had a great afternoon babysitting some staff kids.
May 31 – A difficult morning was made better by an afternoon in the backyard with Goblet of Fire and a bowl of strawberries.