On Our Way To Crazy

Well, here we are again. Awesome.

Last time I spoke up. I stood up for myself and my family. And you know what? It sucked. It sucked a lot.

This time my hand is being forced a bit. I am being asked not to get involved, not to participate, not to speak up. So I’m not.

But, oh, how I want to.

It amazes me how easily selfishness comes for you. How you don’t even see what you’re doing or how badly it’s hurting the people who should be closest to you. How those people are cutting their emotional ties to you to keep from being hurt. It amazes me how you can take something that is meant to be sweet and meaningful and fun and make it ugly and awkward and unpleasant.

But this time my attitude is different. If you’re okay with ugly, then so am I. I’m not fighting for peace anymore. I’m not going to be the mediator. I’m not going to work with everyone to make everyone happy and put a ton of stress and pressure on myself. No one else cares. So neither do I.

That’s a lie, of course. I do care. We care. But we have to stop letting you hurt us. The difference between expectations and reality is disappointment, and this time I refuse to be disappointed. So instead I will lower my expectations. To none.

Maybe you will surprise me. But I doubt it.