On Our Way To Crazy

We get asked a lot of questions about Campbell’s name. Where did it come from? Is it a family name? What does it mean? And the answer is… nowhere. no. nothing.

OK, that’s not entirely true. Aaron watches a show called Damages that has an actor named Campbell Scott on it. He saw it on screen one day and it stuck with him. He was pretty sold on it right away, actually. I took longer to convince. We wanted something that sounded like it could be anything – a writer, a doctor, a stay-at-home mom, a bum on the street. You know, whatever she wanted to be.

(The part where it doesn’t mean anything isn’t entirely true, either. According to the baby sites, Campbell means ‘crooked mouth.’)

I have a bit of a hang up about names. See, I’ve never liked mine. (Sorry, mom.) I don’t feel like it suits me. It sounds cheerleader-y, ditzy, stripper-y. Seriously. Anytime there are a bunch of women on TV trying to, like, win the love of Bret Michaels, I guarantee three of them will be named Brandi. Brandy. Brandie. Brandee. (That one’s the worst.)

So naming our little girl was a daunting task for me. I didn’t want to saddle her with something she hated. I wanted her to have options. But mostly, I didn’t want people to have an idea of who she was before they actually met her.

The longer we talked about Campbell, the more it grew on me. It sounds solid to me, grounded. There aren’t any famous and also trashy people named Campbell. It’s unique, but not crazy. It’s a word people know and know how to spell. I was starting to feel it. Then Aaron brought in the big guns – the middle name. Louise. After my grandmother.

This is my grandmother, Louise. (And my mom, Nelda.) (And me.)

I loved the idea of using a family name, and Campbell Louise flows so well. I was excited to honor my Mawmaw, the lady who took care of her giant family and raised my mom and introduced us to chocolate pie. Plus, she’d had a great nickname – Tootsie. Toots. Totally cute for a baby girl.

Then my Mawmaw got sick. She had a stroke, and then another one. She lost use of the right side of her body. She started forgetting who people were. A blood clot. A broken hip. She started talking to people who had died years ago. She got a little better, then a little worse. She couldn’t swallow food. When asked, she would say her name was “Number 29″. It was rough on my family, especially my mom. It was hard for me to be so far away from them.

Mawmaw passed away on November first. Her body had just had enough. The service was scheduled for the following Saturday. My mom was freaking out that Campbell would come sometime that week. I spent a lot of time talking to my stomach, asking her to please just hold out. Stay in there until after the funeral. The service was at 11am on Saturday. I started having contractions at noon.

The original Toots and Toots the Second missed each other on earth by just a few days. But I like to think they’ve got a connection.

So. Blogging. I miss it.

I spent most of 2011 growing the cutest baby there has ever been. It was also my busiest and biggest year professionally. I decided about halfway through that I wasn’t going to feel bad about not keeping this thing up. I was writing, just not anything I wanted to share. So I kept up my good things lists and called it good.

I’d like to get back in the habit, though. I want to make a point to record what’s happening around here and what’s going on in my head. I’m already two months in to this mothering thing and I want to remember how it’s going. So far it’s a blur of waking up at all hours and Brothers and Sisters reruns and baby cheeks and coffee ice cream.

So we’ll see.

I am really excited about this year. Life with our little girl has been pretty amazing so far. She’s so awesome. Lots of fun things are on the horizon personally and professionally. I’m learning how to be a mom and a pastor at the same time. I’m trying to figure out how to still be me and not just be Campbell’s mom.

Does WordPress have an app? Can I blog from my phone at 3am? That might help me make this happen.

Dec 1 – Ran errands with CeeLo and we both survived.
Dec 2 – I discovered disco baby pants.
Dec 3 – Took Campbell to meet Santa.
Dec 4 – Really beautiful music in church.
Dec 5 – Restful day at home with Campbell watching Gilmore Girls reruns.
Dec 6 – Delicious and trashy Taco Bell dinner.
Dec 7 – Rocked out all our Christmas shopping online during one baby nap.
Dec 8 – I discovered kids consignment stores.
Dec 9 – Successful trip to the mall with the kid, including a feeding.
Dec 10 – Sushi lunch with a friend.
Dec 11 – Really lovely Christmas music service at church.
Dec 12 – Youth Christmas service. So much fun.
Dec 13 – Went to staff meeting for the first time in two months, didn’t die.
Dec 14 – Fun youth staff dinner.
Dec 15 – Big lock in shopping trip with Aaron and Campbell.
Dec 16 – First ever youth group lock in! Nerf tag in the worship center and a high school only room, win.
Dec 17 – Lock in is over! Everyone survived! Adults are tired but want to do it again!
Dec 18 – Lunch after church with our home from college kids.
Dec 19 – Fun leadership party followed by packing CeeLo up for her first ever overnight drive to Texas.
Dec 20 – Survived the drive, hung out with my family, so restful and fun.
Dec 21 – Dinner with Aaron’s brother and his wife and daughter. So nice to get to hang with them outside of major family time.
Dec 22 – High school friend night! Kids everywhere! So fun!
Dec 23 – Spent the day with my favorite college friend Nikki.
Dec 24 – Lovely day baking and wrapping gifts and watching football and warning store clerks about my dad’s imminent arrival.
Dec 25 – The most relaxing Christmas day of my life.
Dec 26 – Chicken fried chicken. Biscuits. Whole bowls of gravy for each person.
Dec 27 – Chopped brisket, grilled sausage, white bread, sweet tea.
Dec 28 – Overnight drive home. HOOOOOME.
Dec 29 – Campbell was super fussy so we put her in the car and got donuts. Win-win.
Dec 30 – Relaxing day with our little family.
Dec 31 – Fun, chilled out New Year’s Eve with good friends. Also, baby tutu.