On Our Way To Crazy

Have I told you guys that my sister is getting married? This is VERY EXCITING NEWS. Because of all the meaningful family experience lifelong happiness preparing for the future business, of course, but also… planning. I love weddings. I love planning. If I had it my way Chelsea would just get the heck out of the way and let me make this thing happen. Turns out she has some ideas and plans of her own, sadly. But a girl can dream.

First of all, she needs a tea-length dress. Preferably with tulle sticking out the bottom.

Then we’re gonna need some mismatched bridesmaids dresses with brightly colored tights and shoes. Obviously.

Location is key when it comes to weddings. I’m pretty convinced that this wedding needs to take place in a barn. Nothing says true love like weathered wood, twinkle lights and hay bales, right? RIGHT?

Cake is important. At a wedding, and also in life. Especially fabulously graphic ones.

Guests cannot party on cake alone. You need food. Delicious food on beautiful tables.

But it’s the personal touches that really make a wedding memorable. The little creative details. Like giant neon letters.

And personal photo polaroid placecards.

And pretty initials made of flowers. (It’s a C! For Chelsea! So meant to be.)

Most importantly, you need activities. Games. Like, just as an example, a game that your entire family has played for centuries and loves so much your dad actually makes his own portable sets. Nothing would make this wedding cooler than a party-wide washers tournament.

Greatest wedding in history? I THINK SO.

1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AARON!

I am so glad he’s my person. There’s not much I can think of that’s better than getting to live with my best friend, especially when he’s a guy who makes delicious pancakes and has excellent taste in jokes and appreciates the beauty of both Friday Night Lights and The Rachel Zoe Project.

2. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We don’t do the Halloween dress up thing so much around here. But this year some new friends invited us to a party and we decided to go. I went round and round with ideas, trying to find something funny and timely and not too difficult to assemble. The answer? Antoine Dodson.

3. HAPPY NABLOPOMO!

I’m trying it again, friends. One post every day for the month of November. So, you know, that should pretty much equal the total number of posts I’ve written so far this year. Wish me luck!

It’s still pretty sad around this place, y’all. We’ve gotten a little more used to the quiet, to the empty house, to the lack of dog hair on every available surface. But sometimes we are watching football and Aaron is getting all worked up and yelling at the TV and I say, “Miles, will you please tell him to keep it down?” without even thinking about it.

Here’s something else that sucks about a house with no Miles in it: we have to clean up after ourselves. I did not realize how much we counted on that dog to eat all the food we drop around here. It’s so annoying when you throw an almost empty bag of chips at the trash, miss, and then have to sweep it up.

I miss him. A lot.

I don’t think I’ve written about this yet, but it’s been a pretty big deal around here so I guess I should make mention. Aaron has been fairly jobless since mid-July. He ended his relationship with the band and has been working to piece together some new management and consulting clients. Things are coming along slowly, and it can get really frustrating and scary, but WOW are we in a good place. When push came to shove we chose sanity over safety. And I know that was the right decision. And when we have to sell our house and live in a box on the street I will still believe that.

Did you guys watch Freaks and Geeks when it was on? We’ve been watching the reruns on IFC and I’m pretty sure it’s one of my favoritest shows ever. I love Sam Weir so much. I think there are only a few episodes left and it makes me so sad.

I have a bit of a shoulder situation. We were at a friend’s house last week, eating and playing games and hanging out. It was midnight-ish when we decided to go jump on the trampoline. We jumped for a few minutes, then laid around and talked for a long time, then jumped again. I was standing in the middle of the trampoline when my friend decided to try to do a flip. Or so I thought when I took a big step backwards to get out of her way. Turns out I was on the edge and I took a big step backwards right over the springs and fell three feet onto the wet grass. Super graceful and not embarrassing at all, right? Right.

Now my right shoulder is sore and twingy and achy and I can’t really raise my arm up. I am awesome at life.

Yesterday afternoon at the bookstore I bought four gift bibles and a David Sedaris book. I got up to the checkout and the guy said he was pretty sure I was the first person to buy that particular combination of items.

I did my first Sunday morning big church baptisms this morning. OH MY GOSH it stresses me out so much. It is such a joy to be a part of those kids’ lives and get to participate in such a big day with them. It is. But I get super angsty and anxious about doing real serious church business on stage in front of everyone. I don’t feel like I’m good at it. I can do relationships and small groups and games and serious discussions. And I can get on stage and do announcements like nobody’s business. But when I have to do something with more depth to it I panic. I truly thought I was going to have some kind of breakdown this morning.

It went fine, of course. Not great. It helps that I deal with kids, so no one thinks twice when one of them forgets to take his shoes off until the last minute and then they sit on stage for the whole service. I just can’t do eloquent and meaningful and professional very well.

I made it though thirty years of life without knowing about the amazingness of Swedish Fish. How is that possible?

You guys. YOU GUYS.

I’ve been thinking for two days about how to start this post. And the only thing I keep thinking is “YOU GUYS”. Because, seriously? You guys? My 30th birthday was one of the greatest days of my life.

First let me give you the highlights of the morning and afternoon: candy for breakfast, birthday cake in staff meeting, delicious avocado BLT and prosecco sangria at lunch with Becka, shoe shopping, magazine reading, mani-pedi. Already a pretty amazing day, right?

The plans for the evening had been a closely guarded secret for the past several weeks. I knew there was a party, and I knew I needed to dress up a bit, but that was it. I didn’t know where it was, or what was happening, or who would be there. Nothing.

So I’m getting dressed, stressing out about what shoes to wear and will I regret the heels and does this dress need a necklace and why am I 30 but I don’t know how to do my hair, when Becka comes over to pick me up. We are heading out the door when she gets a text, stops, and says, “Hey! What’s that big box on the counter?” Clearly whatever we were on our way to do was not ready for us to do it, so she was stalling. We then spent a very fun half hour opening my birthday box from my mom.

(Sidenote: have I ever fully explained the birthday box to y’all? Oh, man. You are so gonna wish my mom was your mom. Every year on my birthday I get a big box wrapped in brown paper. The paper comes off to reveal a big cardboard box covered in magazine clippings… pictures, quotes, drawings, all kinds of things. This year mine had about a thousand “30″s on it, along with pictures of New Kids On the Block. So great. You open the box to find a ton of birthday presents – some big, some small, several funny – all individually wrapped in coordinating wrapping paper. My mom rules at gift giving. Next time I see you I’ll show you my freaking awesome hot pink watch and my budding collection of Penguin Classics.)

So! We finally get in the car and head downtown. We park in a lot near a bunch of buildings I have never been to. I am totally confused. We come around a corner and walk past a random storefront, and I look in the window and see, you know, EVERYONE I KNOW. So fun. We walk in to this amazing building, someone puts a hot pink boa around my neck and a glass of wine in my hand and I start hugging and squealing and laughing and all the things you do when all your favorite people are in one place.

And then. THEN. I walk into the next room, expecting the people in there to be more of my people, and stop dead in my tracks. Because Don and Lori Chaffer are there. WATERDEEP IS AT MY PARTY. I, of course, start crying immediately and further embarrass myself in front of them. They hug me and we talk for a minute and then I think I should just go right ahead and die.

But I don’t, and it’s a good thing. Because after everyone got their food (Baja Burrito!) and sat down, they got on stage. And played an acoustic set. Of all my favorite songs. For me and my friends.

WHAT.

Let me make sure I am setting this scene correctly for you. I am sitting at a table in an amazing old building in downtown Nashville. On that table I have wine and pineapple salsa. I am surrounded my my favorite people in the world. And ten feet in front of me, my favorite band of all time is playing a private show with a set list comprised of only my favorite songs of theirs. Are you with me?

One of the greatest moments of my entire life. Ever. EVER.

(The set list, for those of you who care about this kind of thing, and if you don’t, well, I don’t know if we should be friends anymore: Heart Attack Time Machine, Oh, Close the Door, Good Good End, Both of Us Will Feel the Blast (this is where I started crying, you know, AGAIN), Sweet River Roll, Everybody’s Guilty, Sink or Swim, He Will Come, Everyone’s Beautiful. Oh, and Happy Birthday.)

The rest of the party was pretty freaking great, too. The birthday cake was adorable and delicious and apparently made by “a stout old lady named Joyce who will be making all our cakes from now on”. The music playing overhead was a playlist of songs I love, which I knew in my head but still said “I LOVE THIS SONG” every time a new one started playing. We laughed and danced and talked and ate and it was so so good.

And then there was a photo booth.

My awesome friend Becka put together a collection of props and everyone took pictures with a little polaroid camera and attached them to notes for me. I am working on getting those scanned in, but in the meantime, here are some of my favorites from my digital camera. I think I should carry around a foam handlebar mustache all the time.

It was an incredible, incredible night. Aaron went way above and way beyond anything I could have imagined or deserved. I have pictures to prove it and I still don’t fully believe that it even happened. I married good.

TEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW WE DO CAMP

1. We make our kids eat lunch at Whataburger on the way down, whether they want to or not. WHATABURGER. Three of us loved it. Everyone else hated it. But I’m in charge, so I win.

2. Our group completely rules at the theme nights. Country fair? No problem. Also, our youth staff is amazing. AMAZING.

3. We make up fun games like “1-2-3 Emotion!” that make for awesome pictures. (Aim your camera at a group of kids and count to three. But between two and three, name an emotion. They have to express it for the picture.) Confused!

4. We go to water parks, buy tickets and get the entire group through the gates just in time for a TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR. But because there’s no thunder or lightning, the park stays open. So we ride waterslides in the rain. And that is super fun.

5. We do group calisthenics before group time every night to get everyone awake and alert. They are led by Aaron and include lunges, arm circles and lots of hopping around.

6. The adults crepe paper all the girls’ dorm rooms but the room of the girls who have been trying to pull pranks all week. All the girls blame them for the streamers. The adults do not correct them, but instead let everyone think it was them until they post an incriminating picture on facebook when we are back home.

7. When the whole camp is walking nicely back to their dorms after the closing celebration on the last night, we zig zag through the quad and jump through all the sprinklers, inciting a camp-wide game of sprinkler tag.

8. We deftly rebuff the advances of the guy with two bellybuttons all week, then take very literal pictures to illustrate him. (Literally, he would walk up to girls and say, “Did you hear about the guy at camp with two bellybuttons? It’s me.”)

9. We make the whole group sit and wait at the gas station while one of our leaders runs to the Whataburger around the corner for breakfast taquitos. That we don’t share. With anyone.

10. In between Beastie Boys dance parties and comparing Owl City to the Postal Service, we sing amazing renditions of “Defying Gravity” into our Snapple bottles on the ride home.

Seriously, you guys, camp was amazing. We have such a great group of kids. I truly cannot believe that it is my job to do stuff like this. I watched them serve the city of Birmingham in ways I never thought possible. Kids who barely speak when spoken to were striking up conversations with homeless guys over lunch and praying with kids who are waiting for heart transplants. They cleaned and painted and visited and gardened and played and sang and acted and sorted and packed and were so, so awesome. We made up songs and wrote plays about cowboys and had 3am crying sessions and ate and laughed and bonded and talked a lot about kissing boys. It was wonderful.

LOVE.

I mentioned this in the flood post, but one of the coolest things to come out of this whole “Nashville is under water” thing has been how the community has come together to volunteer and figure out how to take care of each other.

Several local artists have made posters and t-shirts that they are selling to benefit the relief effort. I really want to buy, you know, all of them, but I think I’m going to have to narrow it down to one or two. Which is your favorite? Want to trade a few of your dollars for a sweet poster and to help out my awesome city?

This one is my favorite, I think. I love the colors and the message.

This one creeps me out a little, I’m not gonna lie.

LOVE the graphics on this one. Gorgeous.

Yes, technically this one was for a benefit concert. But it’s worth it for the line “Rebuild this city on rock and roll”, right?

I’m pretty sure I need to own this t-shirt.

So yesterday I mentioned that I turn 30 in three months. I apologize for the stress that may have caused you. Only three months to find me the perfect gift? Whatever will you do?

No worries. I am here for you. The internet has been full of awesome lately, and I have some suggestions. These items are fabulous. I want them. I need them. You should buy them for me, or at least send the links to Aaron since we all know he doesn’t read this blog.

SORRY I’M LATE SHIRT

Has a more perfect shirt for me ever existed? I think not. I would wear it all the time, just in case.

AMPERSAND PILLOW

I love this so much. I think it would be so perfect in my master bedroom… our bedding is grey and white, and I love how simply it refers to partnership and marriage without being cheesy. Lovely.

WATCH PENDANT

I used to wear a watch every day. I had this great olive green leather one that I wore until the band broke, and when that happened, I kind of got out of the habit. I’ve been looking for a replacement wristwatch (and lately have my eye on these), but how freaking cool is this thing? A pendant-slash-watch-slash-locket? So very cool.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE MUG

One of my favorite P&P lines on a mug. Perfection.

GRAMOPHONE TRAIN CASE

Are you kidding me with this? I am always looking at cases like this in vintage stores… I love the old school travel vibe and they seem so useful and practical. Something I already love PLUS a sweet gramophone print? Yes please.

When I started my job, I had no real idea what I was walking into. I knew I loved students, and I knew I loved my church, and I knew that my job with Reba was not the long-term solution for me. So I jumped in.

Do you now, in the presence of this church, commit yourself to this sacred trust and its attendant responsibilities?

I didn’t know what it looked like to work in ministry. I didn’t know how to have a pastor who was also your boss. I didn’t know how difficult it would be to balance work and personal time when so much of it was one and the same.

Will you, who are called to lead, still humbly follow pastoral direction?

I didn’t know how to teach. I didn’t know how to write Bible study lessons. I didn’t know what was important for students to learn about God and faith. I didn’t know what they would be interested in and what would make them think and what would change their lives.

Will you be diligent in your study of the Holy Scriptures, workmen who need not be ashamed, rightly dividing and applying its precepts?

But I did know how much they needed to be loved. And I did know what a difference it makes for a teenager to have an adult who cares about their well being. I knew that the only way they would care about God and faith and the Bible after high school was if someone gave them room to ask questions and learn and doubt in a safe place. I knew I could provide them that.

Will you undertake to be a faithful, loving and courageous pastor to all who need your care?

I learned quickly. Trial by fire. I learned that this was no ordinary job. I learned that who I was at home mattered in my work. I learned that a job you love can come at a cost. I weighed that cost daily. I struggled and struggled and struggled. I tried to be a good person and care for the people in my new world, even when it hurt and burned and they didn’t care for me in return.

Will you pattern your life and ministry after the life and ministry of your Lord and will you first teach by example what you will teach by words that the cause of God be not mocked?

I learned the value of words and the weight of actions and that how you speak matters more sometimes even than what you’re saying. I am still learning how to keep my defenses in check. How to turn the other cheek. How to hold my tongue when necessary.

Will you be a person of prayer and private devotion: a contemplative shepherd who spends time alone with God?

I know now that I can’t do this on my own. That no combination of organization and planning and personality can make this job happen. You can’t give what you don’t have, and trying will knock you out faster than LL Cool J. I am learning to take time for myself when I need it, whether that’s a quick road trip or a weekend in Texas or an afternoon at the park. It’s part of my job. It has to happen or I am ineffective before I even get started.
……………………

This past Sunday, I stood in front of my family, my students, my friends and my church body and said “I Will” and “I Do” to the requirements of an ordained pastor. The spiritual giants in my life stood over me, laid hands on me, robed me and presented me to the congregation. I helped lead communion for the first time. I went from pastor to Pastor.

May the Lord who has given you the will to promise these things forever give you the grace and power to perform them.

Amen, and amen.

It appears that I am on a crusade against down time these days. In addition to my 30 Before 30 list, I am so excited to tell you guys about The Button Club! Because what I need is another list of stuff I’ve never done before.

The Button Club is a group of amazing women from all over the country who will be going through the book How To Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew by Erin Bried. (You can’t go wrong with anything that has the word ‘nifty’ in the title.) We will take on the tasks one at a time, and by the end we will all be domestic and relational wonder women who will take over the world. So, you know. Watch out.

My first post went up today, so head over and read about how I’ve pretty much been faking everything I’ve ever done. This is going to be a really fun project. I can’t wait.