On Our Way To Crazy

I cannot sing. At all. I like to sing, and I will bust out a mean duet with Bonnie Raitt when I’m alone in my car, but it’s not anything that should be shared with the world.

Campbell, though, is a different story. I sing to her ALL THE TIME. She’s too young to know better (or at least too young to complain about it) so I sing to her every chance I get. While we dance around the living room, while I’m trying to settle her down, while I’m putting on my makeup.

I’ve made up a few original songs for her. My first hit was titled “Campbell Likes to Pee on Everything”. Soon after came the critically acclaimed follow-up single, “Air Out Your Booty.” Look for my duet with Skrillex at the 2013 Grammys.

The most sung songs, however, are covers. I like to take an existing song and rework the lyrics to make it about her. It all started with my mom (Big Momma), who penned this version of “Hey, Good Lookin’” by Hank Williams:

Hey, good lookin’
whatcha got cookin’
How’s about cookin’ something up with me
I said hey, sweet baby
don’t you say maybe
how’s about keeping steady company
I got a hot rod Saturn and a two-dollar bill
And I know a spot right over the hill
They got swaddle diapers and the dancing is free
If you wanna have fun come along with me

I cover that one all the time, and I don’t give credit to my mom or to Hank. I claim it as my own. I dare them to sue me.

Other favorites include “Campbell Lou” sung to the tune of “Peggy Sue”, “Campbell Girl”, sung to the tune of “Candy Girl”, and the theme song to the TV show The New Girl, in which I replace the word “Jess” with the word “Toots”.

She also hears a lot lalas and mmmmmms and ohohohs from various Avett Brothers, The Head and the Heart and, don’t judge me, New Kids on the Block songs. Because she does, in fact, got the right stuff.

I hope music is important to her as she grows up. I want it to feel like home, the way it does for me. The music I grew up listening to with my parents is really important to me. It’s where I came from. I want the same thing for her. To be the girl at the party who knows all the words to whatever the equivalent of classic rock will be when she’s an adult. To think Josh Ritter and David Gray are as cool as I think Stevie Nicks and Carole King are. To get it. And if offkey versions of “Campbell Girl” (this time to the tune of “Gracie Girl” by Ben Folds) help her get there, I’ll sing it every day.

We get asked a lot of questions about Campbell’s name. Where did it come from? Is it a family name? What does it mean? And the answer is… nowhere. no. nothing.

OK, that’s not entirely true. Aaron watches a show called Damages that has an actor named Campbell Scott on it. He saw it on screen one day and it stuck with him. He was pretty sold on it right away, actually. I took longer to convince. We wanted something that sounded like it could be anything – a writer, a doctor, a stay-at-home mom, a bum on the street. You know, whatever she wanted to be.

(The part where it doesn’t mean anything isn’t entirely true, either. According to the baby sites, Campbell means ‘crooked mouth.’)

I have a bit of a hang up about names. See, I’ve never liked mine. (Sorry, mom.) I don’t feel like it suits me. It sounds cheerleader-y, ditzy, stripper-y. Seriously. Anytime there are a bunch of women on TV trying to, like, win the love of Bret Michaels, I guarantee three of them will be named Brandi. Brandy. Brandie. Brandee. (That one’s the worst.)

So naming our little girl was a daunting task for me. I didn’t want to saddle her with something she hated. I wanted her to have options. But mostly, I didn’t want people to have an idea of who she was before they actually met her.

The longer we talked about Campbell, the more it grew on me. It sounds solid to me, grounded. There aren’t any famous and also trashy people named Campbell. It’s unique, but not crazy. It’s a word people know and know how to spell. I was starting to feel it. Then Aaron brought in the big guns – the middle name. Louise. After my grandmother.

This is my grandmother, Louise. (And my mom, Nelda.) (And me.)

I loved the idea of using a family name, and Campbell Louise flows so well. I was excited to honor my Mawmaw, the lady who took care of her giant family and raised my mom and introduced us to chocolate pie. Plus, she’d had a great nickname – Tootsie. Toots. Totally cute for a baby girl.

Then my Mawmaw got sick. She had a stroke, and then another one. She lost use of the right side of her body. She started forgetting who people were. A blood clot. A broken hip. She started talking to people who had died years ago. She got a little better, then a little worse. She couldn’t swallow food. When asked, she would say her name was “Number 29″. It was rough on my family, especially my mom. It was hard for me to be so far away from them.

Mawmaw passed away on November first. Her body had just had enough. The service was scheduled for the following Saturday. My mom was freaking out that Campbell would come sometime that week. I spent a lot of time talking to my stomach, asking her to please just hold out. Stay in there until after the funeral. The service was at 11am on Saturday. I started having contractions at noon.

The original Toots and Toots the Second missed each other on earth by just a few days. But I like to think they’ve got a connection.

So. Blogging. I miss it.

I spent most of 2011 growing the cutest baby there has ever been. It was also my busiest and biggest year professionally. I decided about halfway through that I wasn’t going to feel bad about not keeping this thing up. I was writing, just not anything I wanted to share. So I kept up my good things lists and called it good.

I’d like to get back in the habit, though. I want to make a point to record what’s happening around here and what’s going on in my head. I’m already two months in to this mothering thing and I want to remember how it’s going. So far it’s a blur of waking up at all hours and Brothers and Sisters reruns and baby cheeks and coffee ice cream.

So we’ll see.

I am really excited about this year. Life with our little girl has been pretty amazing so far. She’s so awesome. Lots of fun things are on the horizon personally and professionally. I’m learning how to be a mom and a pastor at the same time. I’m trying to figure out how to still be me and not just be Campbell’s mom.

Does WordPress have an app? Can I blog from my phone at 3am? That might help me make this happen.

Dec 1 – Ran errands with CeeLo and we both survived.
Dec 2 – I discovered disco baby pants.
Dec 3 – Took Campbell to meet Santa.
Dec 4 – Really beautiful music in church.
Dec 5 – Restful day at home with Campbell watching Gilmore Girls reruns.
Dec 6 – Delicious and trashy Taco Bell dinner.
Dec 7 – Rocked out all our Christmas shopping online during one baby nap.
Dec 8 – I discovered kids consignment stores.
Dec 9 – Successful trip to the mall with the kid, including a feeding.
Dec 10 – Sushi lunch with a friend.
Dec 11 – Really lovely Christmas music service at church.
Dec 12 – Youth Christmas service. So much fun.
Dec 13 – Went to staff meeting for the first time in two months, didn’t die.
Dec 14 – Fun youth staff dinner.
Dec 15 – Big lock in shopping trip with Aaron and Campbell.
Dec 16 – First ever youth group lock in! Nerf tag in the worship center and a high school only room, win.
Dec 17 – Lock in is over! Everyone survived! Adults are tired but want to do it again!
Dec 18 – Lunch after church with our home from college kids.
Dec 19 – Fun leadership party followed by packing CeeLo up for her first ever overnight drive to Texas.
Dec 20 – Survived the drive, hung out with my family, so restful and fun.
Dec 21 – Dinner with Aaron’s brother and his wife and daughter. So nice to get to hang with them outside of major family time.
Dec 22 – High school friend night! Kids everywhere! So fun!
Dec 23 – Spent the day with my favorite college friend Nikki.
Dec 24 – Lovely day baking and wrapping gifts and watching football and warning store clerks about my dad’s imminent arrival.
Dec 25 – The most relaxing Christmas day of my life.
Dec 26 – Chicken fried chicken. Biscuits. Whole bowls of gravy for each person.
Dec 27 – Chopped brisket, grilled sausage, white bread, sweet tea.
Dec 28 – Overnight drive home. HOOOOOME.
Dec 29 – Campbell was super fussy so we put her in the car and got donuts. Win-win.
Dec 30 – Relaxing day with our little family.
Dec 31 – Fun, chilled out New Year’s Eve with good friends. Also, baby tutu.

There were a few days in November, and then this happened.

Campbell Louise Manes, born November 6, 2011 at 1:18am
9 pounds, 21.5 inches
super awesome

So I could make a list, but they would all be the same. Hung out with Campbell. Took a nap, fed Campbell. Spent a lot of time looking at Campbell and talking about how awesome she is. Kissed Campbell’s fat little cheeks.

I have lots more to say about it all. Maybe one day I’ll actually post about it.

She totally rules.

Oct 1 – Loooooong hectic crazy day. For me. Great for the kids on the retreat.
Oct 2 – Survived the weekend, took a four-hour nap, went to bed two hours later.
Oct 3 – Church baby shower! So overwhelmed with love and support and generosity.
Oct 4 – Spent the afternoon sorting gifts and returning multiples. So much awesome.
Oct 5 – Really fun baby shopping trip with Aaron. He is hilariously cute about this whole thing.
Oct 6 – Fun lunch with a kid who moved away. Fried chicken!
Oct 7 – Chill night at home.
Oct 8 – Fun Saturday out with Aaron.
Oct 9 – Movie date. With Aaron, but also with George Clooney and Ryan Gosling.
Oct 10 – Good youth group discussion about wealth and need.
Oct 11 – One month til baby!
Oct 12 – Spontaneous dinner date and the discovery of Crossfit competitions on ESPN.
Oct 13 – Hospital tour and baby class! It’s getting real, y’all.
Oct 14 – Super awesome shower with my favorite people. Marche and Etsy. Great party.
Oct 15 – Lots of baby prep work, including the purchase of stretchy silver denim leggings.
Oct 16 – Baby laundry! Probably the only time I’ll think it’s cute!
Oct 17 – Day off from youth group = steaks on the grill.
Oct 18 – This video entered my life: http://www.nbc.com/parks-and-recreation/video/Treat-Yourself/1362182
Oct 19 – We met with our awesome new pediatrician. Bow tie and stripey socks on an old doctor guy? Yes.
Oct 20 – Ultrasound and Indian buffet! Fun day.
Oct 21 – Super fun Halloween party. We went as Beyonce and Jay-Z. Obviously.
Oct 22 – Fun fall festival at the church.
Oct 23 – Baby craft day!
Oct 24 – What I thought would be a rough youth night turned out pretty good.
Oct 25 – Long tiring day, made better by a solo lunch with a book.
Oct 26 – We thought my water broke. It didn’t. Then we ate tacos and went to a Waterdeep show. There was a whole-room singalong to Sweet River Roll. I cried.
Oct 27 – Doctor says baby is coming any day!
Oct 28 – Avetts!
Oct 29 – Lazy day. Trying to take advantage of our last non-parent weekends.
Oct 30 – Got some AMAZING new chairs for the living room. It’s like we’re grown ups.
Oct 31 – Youth group Halloween party! So fun.

Sept 1 – Really good discussion in book club.
Sept 2 – This baby is coming in ten weeks. TEN WEEKS.
Sept 3 – Aaron’s brother and his wife and daughther came to visit! Delicious brunch followed by Sweet Cici’s.
Sept 4 – Delicious lunch and the Warhol exhibit at the Frist with the family.
Sept 5 – Toured the Ryman and walked downtown with the family, then a fun night with friends.
Sept 6 – Very productive day.
Sept 7 – Coworker was driving me insane and I didn’t kill ANYONE.
Sept 8 – Fellow book club member was driving me insane and I didn’t kill ANYONE.
Sept 9 – Great girls night out with a new friend.
Sept 10 – Two new youth events, nerf dart tag and spa makeover night, were big successes.
Sept 11 – Lazy football nap day.
Sept 12 – Good discussion in youth group.
Sept 13 – I killed it at the Missoni sale at Target AND we left for vacation. Fabulous day.
Sept 14 – Savannah! Waffles, trolleys, old church tours, nap, gorgeous city, parmesan grits, river walk, gourmet ice cream.
Sept 15 – Cemetery tour! Beach! Sushi!
Sept 16 – Started furnishing the nursery at IKEA.
Sept 17 – Made pumpkin molasses cookies for a fun barbecue with friends.
Sept 18 – Great hangout with friends, and COACH WON THE EMMY.
Sept 19 – One of my volunteers spoke in youth group for the first time and did a great job.
Sept 20 – Got a ton of work done for fall retreat.
Sept 21 – Sold the guest room furniture! It’s nursery time!
Sept 22 – We started painting the nursery. And by we, I mean Aaron.
Sept 23 – Kari came to town! We saw a haunted hitchhiker! Women’s retreat begins!
Sept 24 – Great day at the retreat with Susan Isaacs, brisket tacos, late night girl time.
Sept 25 – Yet another football nap day. I love Sundays.
Sept 26 – Really good discussion in small group about what it means to be part of the bigger picture.
Sept 27 – Made the official Week Of Retreat To Do List.
Sept 28 – Justin Beiber was in town resulting in hilarious texts from my girls as they chased him around.
Sept 29 – Went to a gender reveal party for a friend. Our girl’s BFF is going to be a BOY.
Sept 30 – The first ever GPYG fall retreat began. Great first night.