How great is our God…
Worship used to be simple. I remember being in college, singing songs with all of my friends in a crowded worship service. I believed the words I sang. I had no reason not to believe them. I sang with a simple faith–a naive faith–an untested faith.
Sing with me…
This morning in church, I realized my faith is different now–my worship is different. Because now, when I sing those words, thoughts float through my mind, challenging the words I sing. Images of a child begging on the street. A friend in the hospital. Loved ones at a funeral. Those words aren’t as easy to sing. They require thought, effort.
How great is our God…
Sometimes I can’t sing them. It hurts too much. My chest aches. The reality of this fallen world becomes too much. I question instead of praise. Cry instead of worship.
And all will see how great…
But then, other times, I worship, not in spite of the darkness, but in the midst of it. I worship because, in spite of the poverty, disease and death, God is still in control. I don’t understand it. It makes no sense to me. But I believe it. I cling to it.
How great…
Because God has proven Himself faithful. I have felt His presence in the darkness. I felt it when I looked in the eyes of that begging child, as I touched her face. I felt it in the hospital room, as I prayed for healing–even if that healing didn’t come. He was present at the funeral, the only thing holding my family together in the midst of grief. So I believe. And worship. And wait for the day when I will see Him face-to-face.
Is our God.
Amen - God is good.
Very well written, Brandy. I’ve spent many worship services questioning my belief in the words we sang, or crying through them. And in the process, I am transformed, my faith grows stronger, and maybe the next time I sing with joy.