So, over the past month or so, I’ve seen lots of friends. I had two friends to come visit me in Colorado, and I attended two weddings in Virginia, that were veritable family and college reunions.
So, you’d think I’d be happy, right? Wrong.
Some days, like today, I just miss my family and friends. Please don’t misunderstand me. I have WONDERFUL friends here. I even have cousins here, whom I know I could call for absolutely anything in the world.
But I miss those deeply rooted friendships that must develop over time. Not in a few months. Not even in a year. But years of just living life together. I miss the friends who know in a maximum of 30 seconds if something is wrong with me. I miss hugs from ladies at my church who used to change my diapers in the nursery. I miss spending time with the family who has shaped who I am. I miss inside jokes that make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe. I miss being with people who love me, not in spite of who I am, but because of it.
Sometimes I wonder if living so far from the people who have formed me is worth it. Is a career worth missing my nephews’ birthday parties? My great aunt’s funeral? My brother’s wedding shower? Is it worth missing my best friends’ weddings, babies and graduations?
I’m not doubting that this is God’s plan for me. I’m just doubting my ability to do this right. It’s hard right now. I type these words with a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart. I know this incredible sadness will pass. I believe that I’m where I’m supposed to be.
But it doesn’t mean I have to like it right now.
I hear you sweet friend and i’m not gonna tell you not to be blue, but hopefully you will soon develop inside jokes with your friends here so that we too can suffocate you with happiness. Just so you know, I love you because of you who are too.
Brandy fear not for the absurd inside jokes and headache causing laughter will always be here in the great VA for whenever you are able to come back. We should plan a yearly get together to be ridiculious like last weekend.
Hey Brandy Campbell.
Yeah, I’m behind on comments and reading and all of that. But, I so understand you! I long for deep, rooted friendships! I have Angel, of course, but I miss those old friendships where I was able to sit for a long time and chat, laugh, be crazy, or just be quiet. Man, we need to get together!!! Pray that our VA trip works out…maybe I’ll see ya there!