And in the end…there is love.

I’m cranky. I’m passive aggressive. And it’s Monday. Enjoy.

Dear Wal-Mart Checker,
Listen, I know that you were just trying to be nice. I understand that you are a kindly old man. But for the love of all that’s holy, you have got to speed things up. When you’re one of two open registers, there’s no time for chit chat, no time for you to ask me about EVERY SINGLE ITEM in my cart, and certainly no time for you to count out my change A PENNY AT A TIME. Seriously. Scan it. Bag it. Let me out of there.

Sincerely,
Impatient at Wally World

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Dear Neighbor,
I’m not sure that you understand what it means to live in an apartment. I don’t think you understand that your ceiling is essentially my floor. Because I think if you understood that, you wouldn’t have turned me in to the leasing office for being “excessively noisy.” Seriously, I could show you excessive noise. But I haven’t thus far. And that’s why you make me angry. So pardon my “heavy walking” and my “slamming of cabinets.” You just need to invest in some ear plugs, and suck it up.

Your Quiet Neighbor (Until You Cross Me)

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Dear Airline Industry,
Why are you so greedy? Why do you double your prices at the holidays? Why must I sell a kidney so I can sit squashed between two overweight men in sweat pants? I don’t believe in karma, but if I did, I’m pretty sure you would be screwed. I’m just sayin’.

Poor and Frustrated in Colorado