Fellow Shopper at Target,
I realize we were shopping on Christmas Eve. I know that it was a crazy day, and you probably had lots to do. But seriously? You couldn’t take ten minutes to get dressed? To change out of your pajamas, to take the rollers out of your hair? But the slippers just put it over the edge. I just…I can’t understand it.
Fully Dressed Shopper
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Dear Highway Driver,
Look, if you want to drive slow, that’s totally fine. You just drive as fast as you feel comfortable. But for the love of all that’s holy, drive slow in the RIGHT lane. I have presents to wrap, I don’t have time to sit behind you, putting along a full 10 miles below the speed limit. Killing me. You are killing me.
Impatient on 460
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Dear Charlottesville,
You’re a nice town. I like you. You have good restaurants, and you were the perfect locale for me to meet up with my friend. But I have a few suggestions for you. First of all, your signs directing me to the interstate kind of suck. I need more than 2-seconds to turn. Also, please, please put more parking in that fun little area with neat shops and yummy food. I’m lazy.
Your friend,
Brandy
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Dear Starbucks,
I would like to apologize for the mess my friends and I left in your store. It wasn’t intentional. We had a baby with us, and he doesn’t yet understand those rules. He thought it was okay to throw about 800 sweet potato puffs on the floor that were quickly ground into orange dust by passerby. And he couldn’t help that he drooled all over the table. We tried to clean it up. I promise.
Babies are fun!
I absolutely love these. You should know (if you don’t already) that when I do this type of a post on my blog, it’s because I totally stole the idea from you.
I understand your frustration with parking. However, I am a historic town, and am home to Jefferson’s University. I gave the world Dave Matthews Band. Sorry if I can’t provide more parking to someone who lives in Colorado. I’m still trying to get the rest of my state to act together like that state does. Maybe I’m just bitter I’m not in a state with more popular mountains…I mean seriously, people go skiing in my sister state of West Virginia. All I have to show for it is “Virginia is for Lovers”.
Aaron got some house shoes for Christmas, the kind with a hard sole. I am afraid to tell you how many times he’s worn them out in the last week.
i think i could pull off some pajama pants and slippers to the Target by my house. they’re open till 10 and by then it’s usually pretty empty.
But y’all. They were fuzzy slippers. And she had curlers. It was too much, I tell you.
i saw a video on CNN that two guys walked into a 24/7 gas station at like 3:30 am to get candy and they were NAKED. so it could have been worse than fuzzy slippers and curlers.
460 would put any lazy fully dressed shopper who gets easily confused by poor signage over the edge. It’s just that kind of road. And…well…we both know what I think about you and babies. Maybe I’m right after all (about that at least).
Wait, you were in Charlottesville?! When?! I was there too! This is sadness. (But you’re right, there isn’t enough parking…lots of places.)
Aw, sad, Sarah! I didn’t even think about the fact that you might be in town! Boo
i love myself some c’ville. the only unversity in the country where you wear pears and heals to a football game.
oops. i mean pearls
i think the rich kids would frown on wearing pears 