I always try to blog on Sunday. So, my Monday morning readers will have something fresh and funny/insightful/brilliant to read. I don’t want to let you down, dear readers.
But seriously? I have nothing today. So I’m going to make you work. I’ve decided that one of my life goals is to be on the Ellen Degeneres show. Yes, you heard me. I have very lofty goals in my life.
The only issue is, I have absolutely nothing that would warrant my appearance on a talk show. So that’s where you come in. How can I get on the Ellen show? I want your brilliant ideas since I apparently have none! Thanks 
You’re recent “comparative” photos are a good starting point… As many times as I’ve watched Ellen I can say that’s definite fodder for her show. Not to mention the two of you share the same corny, dry “type” of humor, variations, yes, but similar. (That wasn’t brilliant at all, was it?)
I’ll keep thinking and get back to you.
I’ve been trying to think of my own gimmick to get attention to raise money for something or other. A walk or run or kayak seems to have been done.
So how about some athletic accomplishment, but we have to be super-duper overweight, to make it interesting. (Yes, I’m including myself in this. If you’re going on Ellen, so am I.) Like we could be two 300 pound women unicycling across the country to end child labor or something.
And we’ll have to go into “training” to become 300 pounds, which just enriches the story. We’ll document our fabulous donut-laden rise to ginormity, and then our wobby trek across the West.
Let’s do it!
come up with a stupid human trick! wait…..wrong show. maybe learn how to talk in a monster voice like sesame street? doesn’t ellen have people like that on her show?
Dance. Ellen loves to dance.
Break out every move you can think of.
I’m still trying to figure out why anyone would watch, let alone want to be on, The Ellen Show. If you really want to do it (I’ll pray for you), you could make masterpiece creations out of SPAM - you know the questionable meat, not the email variety. Start by working on the Lord’s Supper. Just make sure you plug your nose - that stuff is gross!
Marry her.
Scott C, you are a jerk! I LIKE BOYS
That’s right, Brandy. You go girl. Stick to the man!
I meant to say “Stick it to the man” but either way actually works for this scenario.