Recently (okay, it was several months ago) a friend and I were talking about our childhoods. And she mentioned that she used to sell greeting cards. Oh my gosh. I used to sell greeting cards! I’m not talking about for a school fundraiser. This was something I would do during the summer to make extra money or to get prizes (I think it was called Olympic or Olympia?). For every item I sold from my catalog, I could either get cash, or I could sell a certain number of items to get prizes from this prize catalog. Does anybody out there (besides my friend) know what I’m talking about?
Looking back on that time in my life, it cracks me up that I was basically a door-to-door salesman. Because y’all. I do NOT have the personality for it. I was even more shy as an awkward 10-year-old than I am today. But I really wanted that black and white TV from the prize catalog for my room. So sell cards I did.
There is one particularly vivid memory that I’m pretty sure was the beginning of the end of my sales future. You see, we had a neighbor. That neighbor had a teenage son. I was in love with that son. And one day, I walked through the woods to their house, armed with my catalog of cards, and bravely knocked on their door. The son answered. My knees turned to jello. And my winning personality paired with his sullen teenager one was a dangerous thing. We stared at each other. Neither would speak. So I decided to just walk into the house.
Where I promptly fell on my butt in their foyer.
Is there anything more embarrassing than that? It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it. I jumped up and walked into the living room, where I sat with my crumpled catalog firmly clutched in my sweaty hands. My crush walked in, stared at me, then said the only words he would speak to me that fateful day.
“My mom’s not home.”
I nodded, carefully walked back through the foyer, where the rug I had fallen on lay crumpled on the floor, and left. Never to return.
That black and white TV was simply not worth it.
Oh, Brandy. You are amazing!
Oh my gosh, Brandy, I can just picture this. It’s a scene from an 80′s movie with Molly Ringwald playing you! HA HA!
wait, you didn’t even ask if you could come in? what in the world?
(i sold that stuff one time, i got a clock radio out of it)
Scott, I was 10! And awkward! And didn’t understand social norms!
Leave me alone.
That’s so funny!! I can picture you like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite when Kip says, “Your mom goes to college,” and she runs away without a word.
hey, i love reading your blog…i can totally relate to a lot of your stories from home! so i must ask…who are you talking about? i was in love with your neighbor C.O. ever since they moved from NJ. i’ll have to share some of my embarrassing stories with you sometime!
Yah, Olympia I think… my twin and I tried it for a while. I think we sold like one or two orders, which I believe were gift wrap. I loved the catalog because I liked using the sample card after I was done walking around the neighborhood in a futile manner, and also because I loved pretending that the pictures or samples of gift wrap were big enough to use for SOME kinda present.. queen of recycling that I am… so one year I wrapped hard candies in those little samples.