Well my friends. There is trouble in paradise.
This morning, I discovered Lucy had christened the carpet. You know the proverb “don’t eat the yellow snow?” It is closely followed by “don’t step on the yellow carpet.” If you know what I mean.
She peed on the carpet. In case you missed my subtle clues.
After much scrubbing and grumbling under my breath, I finally got the mess cleaned up. And I explained to Lucy firmly that peeing on the carpet was unacceptable.
But y’all. I don’t think Lucy likes being told what to do. Because when I came downstairs after my shower, there was little bits of white fluff everywhere. At first I couldn’t figure out what it was. But then, by the door, I saw the crumpled body of Lucy’s elephant, whom I have named Elliott.
Poor Elliott. You didn’t deserve this. She was mad at me, not you. Yet it was you that had your innards spilled all over the carpet.
I hardly knew ye, Elliott.
So now I’m sleeping with one eye open.
She may look innocent. But I’ve seen what she can do.
