I'm Just Sayin'

Yeah, those were the days. I have 12 drafts in my draft folder. Each one looking at me with its beady little eyes. Yes, my posts have eyes. And yes they’re beady.

But y’all. I’ve got nothing. Nothing funny. Nothing profound. Just nothing.

So I thought I would just give you a list. A bulleted list at that. What a cop-out. But it is a list of the stupid things I’ve done over the past few weeks. That’s entertaining, right?

Come on, humor me.

• Since we last met, I have done some fix-it projects around the house. And I’m really not sure how I’m still alive. Because in one project I shoved a screwdriver into a mass of wires that once was my ceiling fan.  And I didn’t turn off the circuit-breaker. Is that even what it’s called? Anywho, I learned that this is a way to get your friends to come fix your ceiling fan. Because they don’t want to be the ones to find my corpse. And I appreciate that.
• Speaking of my corpse (you gotta love a sentence that starts that way), this morning I fell in my bathroom and narrowly missed hitting my head on the sink. I’m thinking it may be helpful if I got one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” things to wear when I’m home alone.
• Oh, and then, last week, I had to replace a smoke detector battery. It was in a really high part of the ceiling. Aside–why would you put it there. So it will take longer for the smoke to reach it. And I can die. Anyway. I replaced the battery. But then I tested it. OH MY WORD. That thing was loud. I almost fell off the ladder trying to get away from it. Then I yanked the battery out to make it stop. Yeah, the battery I just put in it. My life is a comedy of errors.
• My friend Mandy came to visit a few weeks ago. I should have blogged about that. Because I love that girl. We are kindred souls. And she doesn’t get frustrated when everything goes wrong and I do something dumb. Like taking her to an outdoor festival minutes before a huge thunderstorm struck. Causing us to flee for safety in a bus stop. Where we ate Navajo tacos. Because there’s nothing like fry bread and refried beans in a bus stop. I am all class, all the time.
• I feel like I need one more bullet. Isn’t the rule you have to have five things in a bulleted list? I guess I could tell you that while I was in Togo, I discovered just how bad my French skills are. I went there knowing only one phrase, and it was a highly inappropriate one from a Labelle song. And while I was there, I kept getting confused when people would ask me how I was doing. I thought they were asking my name. And vice versa. So now there is a whole town in Togo that thinks my name is “Good” and I am doing very “Brandy.”

I can’t make this stuff up.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.