I'm Just Sayin'

Today, I turned 30.

Am I okay with that? Depends on the exact moment that you ask me.

Because part of me is thrilled with 30. I am doing what I love. I have a great job. I am surrounded by incredible friends who make my life better. I have a family that loves and supports me. Lots of fun plans for the future. I feel independent, successful and loved.

But there’s also the reality that, I’m not exactly where I thought I would be at 30. I thought I would be married, and have children. Started writing the Great American Novel. I still have insecurities. I still am afraid of being alone. I still deal with a lot of the same struggles that I thought I would be over by now.

Last night, though, as I sat with some of my dearest friends, who had gathered to celebrate my birthday, I looked at their faces and realized that, no, I’m not where I thought I would be at 30.

I didn’t think that at 30, I would be surrounded by friends who are as close to me as family.

I didn’t think that at 30, I would be single, but nowhere close to alone.

I didn’t think that at 30, I would be rediscovering who I am.

I didn’t think that at 30, I would begin to like that person I was discovering.

At the end of the evening, my friends handed me a bowl, filled with 30 slips of paper. Each one held a thought about me. An inside joke, a funny story, a word of encouragement. And with each one that I read, I was reminded that 30-year-old me is blessed in ways I never could have imagined.

“I love the way I never stop laughing around you.”

“Thank you for being such a great cheerleader in my life.”

“I love hearing you laugh.”

“You are always there for me when I need you.”

“I love you.”

So, I am 30.

And I think I’m going to like it.