Traveling during the holidays is an adventure. I find that it’s easier to travel to Africa in the summer than it is to Virginia in the winter. Go figure. And this year was no exception. So here, in no particular order, are the travel lessons I learned this Christmas. May you read them, laugh at them, and pray that your luck will not be like mine!
- Look, I know that 12 inches of snow is a lot. I get that. But how is it that an airplane cannot make it through a snowfall that an SUV can? I mean, it’s tons of metal that can FLY THROUGH THE AIR. But it can’t get through a foot of snow. I just…I don’t understand.
- When you book a hotel room, make sure you write down the address. Or you will take the shuttle to the wrong hotel. And when you find that out, you might cry. And some people are not sympathetic when you cry.
- When you don’t correct your taxi driver about the fact that you don’t have a boyfriend, you will spend a 30-minute cab ride talking about said imaginary boyfriend. And then you will feel like a loser.
- The JFK airport will bring you food and drinks TO YOUR GATE. It is the epitome of laziness. And stinkin’ brilliant!
- It is never a good sign when your altitude is 5 feet after you’ve been on the plane for two hours.
- After you’ve been on a plane for seven hours, you should be in another country. On another continent. Somewhere warm, preferably.
- It is not a good thing when you’re told at your gate that you don’t have a pilot. And then they take the time off of the gate, because they have “no idea” when you will leave.
- You can have tremendous sympathy for the parent of a crying child while, at the same time, wanting to strap a parachute on said child and throw them off of the plane.
- Christmas should not be in a season with snow and ice. I propose moving it to June. Any takers?
