6 years.
2,190 days.
52,560 hours.
6 years since I saw his face.
2,190 days since I heard his laugh.
52,560 hours since he told me I love you.
6 years I have known grief.
2,190 days I have known loss .
52,560 hours I have known pain.
6 years feel like yesterday.
2,190 days feel like forever.
52,560 hours feel like today.
6 years I’ve missed [...]
So, over the past month or so, I’ve seen lots of friends. I had two friends to come visit me in Colorado, and I attended two weddings in Virginia, that were veritable family and college reunions.
So, you’d think I’d be happy, right? Wrong.
Some days, like today, I just miss my family and friends. Please don’t [...]
Nobody here knows about March 5. Nobody knows that’s the day that changed my life forever. The day that I lost the man who raised me as his own daughter. The day a part of me died.
I keep thinking that it will get easier. And perhaps it has. The pain is less sharp. The grief [...]
Is it possible to become a bad writer overnight? As in, yesterday, I thought I was a pretty good writer. Today, everything I write is crap. Even this blog. All crap.
I knew I should have had a back-up occupation plan. Do you think I can get a job at a bookstore? Or will my crappy [...]
I work for a ministry that serves children in poverty all around the world. More than 800,000 children in 24 countries. It’s an incredible ministry, and I love what I do.
But sometimes, it’s hard. Despite all that we do, children in our program still die. Every week, all the employees are given a prayer guide. [...]
So, last week was my birthday. Birthdays are kind of weird for me now. For my first twenty-two birthdays, I spent every single one with my family. There was a party every year, albeit a small one. There were Barbie cakes, surprise parties, sleepovers, and everything inbetween.
And now, it’s just different. A few birthdays were [...]
I still don’t know what to call home. When I left Denver for Virginia, I said I was going home. When I tearfully left Virginia for Colorado, I said I was going home. I don’t even know what home is anymore exactly.
It’s always hard for me to leave Virginia and head back to whereever I [...]
I need to come up with a new word for my mood. It’s a little ugh, a little blah, a little yucky. Blughy? Yagh? How about craptacular?
I just can’t figure it out. It’s Christmas, for goodness sake. I have my tree up. I’ve wrapped the presents. I have a counter full of Christmas cards. The [...]
So, this morning was kind of an emotional one at church. Lots of ups and downs. We’re doing a series on advent, and each Sunday a family/couple/individual lights the candle. This week’s candle represented peace, and the family who lit it is going through an extremely difficult time. The mother, who has four children, the [...]
March 5, 2005
I woke up this morning crying, my wet face buried in my pillow. In that hazy state between wake and sleep, I had let my guard down, and at first I couldn’t quite figure out why. Then memories from the dream that still floated under my eyelids came rushing back. I had dreamt [...]