Have you ever heard of Sandra Lee? She has this show on the Food Network called Semi-Homemade Cooking. And y’all, she plucks my very last nerve.

Look, I know what some of you are going to say. “But Brandy, Sandra Lee had a hard life. She had to raise her younger siblings. I read all about it on Wikipedia, so it must be true.” I don’t know Sandra Lee personally. I’m sure she’s a pleasant enough person. But why, dear Lord, does she have a cooking show? I simply cannot understand it.

To me, this is a Sandra Lee show.

First, she opens a can of Spaghetti-O’s.

Then she sprinkles some parsley on top of said Spaghetti-O’s. The homemade part.

She eats a few bites of this nastiness, moaning about how good it is. Or maybe she’s throwing up in her mouth a little.

Then she makes a “tablescape” out of the Spaghetti-O cans and a holly bush.

Then, for dessert, she sticks with the “O” theme and dumps a bag of mini donuts on a plate. Oh, and she sprinkles them with coconut. That’s the homemade part.

Finally, she makes a cocktail. Which consists of a bottle of vodka and a packet of grape kool aid.

And she gets paid for this.

I don’t understand it.