Okay, so this actually happened a while ago, but I had to get the Open Book posts out of the way. So, here you have thoughts from a very frustrating trip to Target…
Dear New Target Checker,
I like to think I’m a pretty patient person. But lady, you were straight up struggling trying to check out [...]
Fellow Shopper at Target,
I realize we were shopping on Christmas Eve. I know that it was a crazy day, and you probably had lots to do. But seriously? You couldn’t take ten minutes to get dressed? To change out of your pajamas, to take the rollers out of your hair? But the slippers just put [...]
I’m cranky. I’m passive aggressive. And it’s Monday. Enjoy.
Dear Wal-Mart Checker,
Listen, I know that you were just trying to be nice. I understand that you are a kindly old man. But for the love of all that’s holy, you have got to speed things up. When you’re one of two open registers, there’s no time [...]
Dear Colorado,
Listen, I understood when I moved here, that your state is a cold one. Lots of snow. A long winter. Whatever. But listen, I will fight you for September. September is supposed be that month when summer slowly eases into fall. But this weekend, I experienced changing leaves and dropping temperatures. My apartment complex [...]
Dear Germ-a-Phobe Coworker,
I love that when you hear someone coughing, you haul out your tub-o-Clorox wipes and and coat your whole cubicle with their germ-killing goodness. I fully expect to see you wearing a mask to work one day like those people in Asia who are scared of catching some kind of flu from birds. [...]
Dear Mr. Mechanic,
Seriously? Do you really think that I wouldn’t know if had “one of ‘dem electric cars”? I know that my car is not electric. I don’t care if you’ve never seen a battery like that before. I’m a girl, but I’m not an idiot. Now put those gosh-darn jumper cables on that “weird” [...]
Dear First-Grader in my Sunday School Class,
I know you kids are all about the honesty. I’m down with that. But please don’t ever tell me “You need to get married soon so you can still have babies.” That one sentence from you made my fallopian tubes shrivel up from the hopelessness. It ain’t cool kid. [...]