Category: Unbelievable

Picture if you will…

Posted by Brandy – March 9, 2008

I feel like the most random things happen to me. I think I would make a pretty good reality show. Or a sitcom. Except, I’m kind of boring. Except when I’m being an idiot.

An example, you ask? Why, of course.

I just bought a KitchenAid mixer. Which was easily the highlight of the month. Which tells you how sad my life is. The other night, my roomie and I were doing dishes. So she is putting the bowl back on my mixer. And I see her doing this Superwoman turn to get it in there nice and tight. And I remember thinking “Wow, I hope I can get it off.”

Fast forward to Thursday night. I was doing some midnight baking (b/c that’s how I roll). I was falling asleep standing up, but trying to get the kitchen all tidy before heading to bed. And it comes time for me to remove said bowl from said mixer. But it won’t move. Oh no. Not a bit.

I tugged and grunted and swore, to no avail. Finally, I had one foot on the counter, to brace myself, my arms wrapped fully around the slippery mixing bowl, and my cheek pressed against the cool metal mixer. And finally, release!

Oh, but with that release came pain. The pain of my foot flying off the counter. My cheek smashing into the speed lever. My shoulder screaming in agony.

That’s right. I mortally wounded myself on a KitchenAid mixer.

Wouldn’t you watch a show that involved that?

I’m really not a very nice person…

Posted by Brandy – February 1, 2008

Have you ever heard of Sandra Lee? She has this show on the Food Network called Semi-Homemade Cooking. And y’all, she plucks my very last nerve.

Look, I know what some of you are going to say. “But Brandy, Sandra Lee had a hard life. She had to raise her younger siblings. I read all about it on Wikipedia, so it must be true.” I don’t know Sandra Lee personally. I’m sure she’s a pleasant enough person. But why, dear Lord, does she have a cooking show? I simply cannot understand it.

To me, this is a Sandra Lee show.

First, she opens a can of Spaghetti-O’s.

Then she sprinkles some parsley on top of said Spaghetti-O’s. The homemade part.

She eats a few bites of this nastiness, moaning about how good it is. Or maybe she’s throwing up in her mouth a little.

Then she makes a “tablescape” out of the Spaghetti-O cans and a holly bush.

Then, for dessert, she sticks with the “O” theme and dumps a bag of mini donuts on a plate. Oh, and she sprinkles them with coconut. That’s the homemade part.

Finally, she makes a cocktail. Which consists of a bottle of vodka and a packet of grape kool aid.

And she gets paid for this.

I don’t understand it.

Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith

Posted by Brandy – September 4, 2007

Mother Teresa Recently, I read an article about Mother Teresa in Time magazine, about her so-called “crisis of faith.” Since this story has been all over the place lately, I won’t really rehash it here. (You can read it in the above link, if you like.)

Since I read this article, I can’t stop thinking about it. Phrases like these have just gotten under my skin, and stayed there:

  • extravagantly dissonant
  • self-contradiction
  • seemingly peaceful
  • Jesus took himself away
  • Teresa finally woke up

I’m not here to discuss whether Mother Teresa was a Christian (between her and God), or her methods of ministering to those living in Calcutta. I’m here to discuss people’s perceptions of a Christian who has a crisis of faith.

I think the thing that made me the most angry about the article in Time was their implication that Mother Teresa’s doubts meant that Jesus was no longer “present.” What the heck does that mean anyway? When I’m angry at someone, when I don’t understand someone’s actions, it doesn’t mean that I think they’re gone. Granted, I understand with God, it’s different. I’ve never physically seen God. So it can be easy to not “feel” his presence. Especially when I’m mired in this sinful fallen world–mired in my own sin.

And I think that’s what gets me the most about the recent criticism of Mother Teresa. Those people, the ones who refer to the “dissonance” and “contradiction”–have any of them seen poverty first-hand? Do any of them understand what it’s like to look in the face of a begging child, her belly swollen by malnutrition? Have they seen a mother die slowly, painfully of AIDS–while her children watch? Watched a teenager sell her body so her family can eat?

Because if they had seen those things, they wouldn’t ask, “how could Mother Teresa have had doubts?” They would ask “where did she find the strength to keep going?”

Another thing that drives me crazy, is the assumption that Mother Teresa’s doubts cancelled out her faith. The claim that she must have been less than honest when she spoke about her love of Christ, her faith in the Lord. That, is one of the most erroneous beliefs I’ve heard. I can only thank God that he forgives my unbelief–that He makes me whole, despite my brokeness.

Again, I’m not making any kind of judgement call on Mother Teresa herself. I’m just saying, I know what it’s like to have doubts, to be so angry, so confused, so filled with grief, that I can’t see straight–I can’t see God. And I find comfort in knowing that other people who proclaim Jesus as Lord have dealt with the same feelings.

So, when I read Mother Teresa’s words, read her fears and her doubts, I sympathize. And I will claim her words as my own:

Come, be my light.

Sleep?

Posted by Brandy – August 14, 2007

So, I’ve decided that sleep is overrated. Which is why I’m currently tie dying 28 t-shirts at 10:30 at night. That’s how I roll. Bwahahah.

(Seriously, I need to sleep, this is ridiculous!)

UGH!

Posted by bcgal80 – June 18, 2007

Wednesday–When I left work, my car wouldn’t start. Called roadside assistance, waited 40 minutes, some teenager jumped my car, and I drove home. Thought it was just a fluke.

Thursday–Left work. Car wouldn’t start. AGAIN. Some friends jumped it this time. Drove it to the dealership. Got a mini van for a loaner. Lost cool points. See earlier posts.

Friday–Got a call, saying that my car had a bad battery. Took mini van back. Felt inexplicable sadness. Wondered if I should get something pierced or tattooed to balance it all out.

Sunday–Got in my car to meet family for a baseball game. Car wouldn’t start. I thought impure thoughts. Said some things that shouldn’t be repeated. Called and left a mean message for the dealership.

DID I MENTION THIS CAR IS ONLY 14 MONTHS OLD?!?

I’m so stinkin’ frustrated right now.