a few more years shall roll

I was speaking to my co-worker/boss a few days ago about my grandfather, who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and probably does not have long to live. She mentioned a prayer she had read from a Confederate soldier disabled in the Civil War that she thought I might find helpful. . . .

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do great things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost, despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

in one long weekend. I drove from Philly to Carlisle to visit my sister Abby, then straight down I-81 to Johnson City, Tennnessee to visit my brother Mike and his wife Robyn and their new little girl Molly. I split time with them and with my other brother Jon and his wife Emily in Asheville. I fit in an Andrew Peterson and Eric Peters concert on Friday night at the New City Cafe in Knoxville, and a trip to the Asheville Pizza and Brewing Company, where I kept Molly occupied so her parents could enjoy a movie. Here’s a picture Robyn snapped before we went inside:

It was exhausting–especially the drive home–but I wouldn’t have traded the time with the family!

So, Sharon and I decided on the following restaurant for next week. Here are our menu options:
(I don’t know what half of them are, but I think I’ll enjoy it nonetheless)

¡Pasion!
211 South 15th Street
215.875.9895

Appetizer
(choice of one)

Duo of Soups
Lobster Chupe - Lobster Soup with Corn, Potatoes,
Green Peas, and Hard Boiled Egg
&
Sopa de Calabaza - West Indian Squash, Queso Fresco,
Pepitas, and Austrian Pumpkin Seed Oil

Beef Ceviche
Beef Tenderloin, Seared and Thinly Sliced,
Lime Marinated, Green Papaya Escabeche Salad

Atún a lo Africano
African Adobo Spiced Tuna Tartare, Romaine Salad,
Caesar Dressing and Roasted Garlic Croutons

Entrée
(choice of one)

Salmón de Panela
Seared Panela Cured Salmon, Tamarindo-Coconut
Rice, Pineapple Butter Sauce

Brazilian Xinxim
Venezuelan Crab and Chicken Stew with Sea Scallops,
Lobster Essence, Mushrooms and Basil

Lomo de Puerco
Pork Loin, Jerk Marinated, Roasted and Thinly Sliced,
Spoonbread and Fire Roasted Salsa

Dessert
(choice of one)

Flan Cubano
Vanilla Baked Custard, Caramel Sauce

Arroz con Leche
Valencia and Canela Rice Pudding,
Banana Anglaise

PS Here’s another pic of my gorgeous new niece:

Exciting news from Tennessee! Last night at 7:35, my brother Michael and his wife Robyn became the proud parents of a new baby girl. Molly Regan (a good Irish name!) weighed in at 7 pounds, 9 oz and 20 1/4 inches. She’s healthy and beautiful.

Here she is exercising her lungs with her proud parents:

What a great weekend!
Friday evening, I spent time with my mom, dad, and sister in Carlisle. Abby recently moved into a new place with her friend, and has redecorated her room and bathroom with such artistic flair that I can’t believe we’re related. It was fun to get to stay overnight with her and catch up a bit. I also found a great pair of shoes to wear to the wedding I attended the next day. Mine are the pink, flowered heels in this pic:

Saturday. Since I was missing the Live8 Concert back home in Philly, I better have had a good excuse. I did. I got up early, had a leisurely breakfast with Abs at Panera, and hopped on 81 south to go to Charlottesville, VA. I love driving through the Shenendoah Valley—it’s really one of the most beautiful drives around. And with surprisingly little traffic, I was in C-ville in 3 and a half hours. I was there to attend the wedding of Sarah and Brandon. I first met Sarah nearly four years ago at an Andrew Peterson Christmas show in Lynchburg, VA. We’ve stayed in touch and it was wonderful to get to see her and Brandon begin their new life together. I will post some pictures on my picture site soon.

I ran a few errands, and waited for Dawn and Katey to arrive from North Carolina. They took a detour to Monticello, but found it harder to spot than expected. However, we did get this lovely picture of the three of us there after we changed for the wedding. We had a fun time, seeing friends from the internet (gasp!) and celebrating!

Up very early the next morning, I left Dawn and Katey and drove back to Philly. Again, no traffic at all, so a relatively quick trip. As you may have read, my car stereo was stolen a while ago and I decided to sing on my own. I was surprised by how many hymns I remembered! All four verses of some—five of Come Ye Sinners. It was a good way to pass the time Sunday morning, especially since I missed the morning service. I got to church at 10:30, in time for the beginning of our 5-6 hours meeting for our trip abroad. One of the workers over there is in the States for a while and spent the day with us, giving us a better sense of what we’ll be doing there. It made the whole trip very real—almost felt like we were on our way. And, in fact, it won’t be long now. We leave next Friday! After our meeting, we went upstairs to grab some leftover cheesesteaks, then headed to La Columbe for some coffee and more hang time (we’re getting good at this spending time together thing!). We stopped back at the park to sit for a few minutes, where I snapped the end of my roll of film from the wedding.

After evening service, I returned my friend Joyce’s cat carrier to her. She is my ever gracious friend, who lets me borrow the carrier on the rare occasion I actually take my cat to the vet! Then, a bunch of us the wandered the streets searching for sustenance. Actually, three of us got ice cream, and everyone else real food, and we reconvened in a circle at Rittenhouse Square. The night was gorgeous, and we just sat and chatted til about 10:15.

Monday, the fourth of July, was my All-American day. Seriously, it was the real deal. Sarah and I joined a bunch of friends for a BBQ at the guy’s house in Germantown, where we ate, and talked, and tossed football, and played street wiffle ball off their front porch. Classic. Then, we caravanned (is that a word?) over to another friend’s house, where we played about six volleyball games before jumping into the pool to cool off. Ate a quick dinner and rushed (seriously—we were like a secret service caravan of cars speeding through the suburbs to catch our train into the city) to the station. We made it to the Parkway by the Art Museum in time to catch the end of the parade (it was ok). At 8:30 the Celebrate Freedom concert began with Bryan Adams. He was followed by Rufus Wainwright, Patti LaBelle, and finally Elton John, who sang the longest version of Rocketman ever. Seriously, he ended the song four times. In general the concert was so-so, but the fun was being there with so many other people. We had fifteen in our group, but we added about 8-10 more throughout the night. Fireworks finally went off at 11pm and were a nice display—I’ve never been that close to the display at the Art Museum—usually I see if from the highway on my way home! We joined the hordes leaving the area, and got to the train station in time to get our train back. We didn’t have to pay either way—the train was too jammed for the conductors to get around. Sarah and I got home at about 12:45—a long day, but so enjoyable. Food, sports, friends, music, fireworks—a great 4th!

Last night, as I was sitting at a circular table crowded with 13 people eating Vietnamese pho at Nam Phuong in South Philadelphia, I realized how much I love food and people together. Really, there is hardly a better way to enjoy the company of a group than while eating food. Something happens when you gather around a table filled with even new and unusual foods that would never happen in a board room. When the 13th person arrived, we were short a chair, so four of us girls squeezed onto three chairs, and it was fine. We laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other. It was an unofficial team meeting for our group heading off three weeks from today, and as Jonathan said, “We’re going to be doing a lot of this, so get used to it.” Andrew was back from his trip to Japan, so he had us laughing with tales of electric baths and embarrassing subway rides.

I felt bad having to leave less than two hours after we arrived, but Kristi had a train to catch, and Tim wanted to watch the tipoff of the Spurs-Pistons game. I went home happy.

In my family, the eating portion of dinnertime goes by like a flash. In fact, I often think of all the time my mother would take to prepare a meal, and how quickly it would be in 7 stomachs. The ratio seems off. But, I love how we sit around the table for so long after dinner, with dessert and coffee, just chatting and laughing. I wish I could have done that last night, too. I think it’s good preparation for traveling again and ultimately, for the great banquet to come.

When I was a college student, my main transport home was Amtrak, from 30th Street Station to Harrisburg, PA, where my family would pick me up. A quick two hour ride through Pennsylvania countryside and I could be at home. And, the biggest bonus: my family didn’t have to drive into Philadelphia traffic (they still don’t like to do that!).

Although I occasionally take the train to NY, DC, or even once to Williamsburg, VA for work, I don’t think I’ve taken it to Harrisburg since college. It’s usually quicker and more convenient for me to drive. But, tomorrow, I am heading home for a baby shower for my brother and sister-in-law and the next day my sister Abby was planning to come visit me anyway. So, I’m loading up with work and my laptop and catching the midday train to Harrisburg. I might even pay the extra six bucks to get a reserved seat in business class.

my cute neices and nephews!

these are the UNO card sharks, otherwise known as Mason and Grace. Grace doesn’t really play, but she sure likes to have some cards in hand and throw them done with force occasionally. Mason on the other hand, kicked my tail in UNO a few weeks ago.

I took a picture of Briannah and her knitting, but that didn’t turn out so well.

Here’s one of Mason, Exley, and Grace on Mason’s birthday.

And, the newest addition, Pierson, is a little butterball of good humor. He smiles and giggles at everyone and anything! (except the camera, in this case)

i get to see all my siblings this weekend–even if it’s only for Saturday afternoon, it’s still exciting!

i hadn’t heard the term before i read this article by david brooks in yesterday’s new york times. as one of five children, i found it quite interesting. . .

December 7, 2004
OP-ED COLUMNIST
The New Red-Diaper Babies
By DAVID BROOKS

here is a little-known movement sweeping across the United States. The movement is “natalism.”

All across the industrialized world, birthrates are falling - in Western Europe, in Canada and in many regions of the United States. People are marrying later and having fewer kids. But spread around this country, and concentrated in certain areas, the natalists defy these trends.

They are having three, four or more kids. Their personal identity is defined by parenthood. They are more spiritually, emotionally and physically invested in their homes than in any other sphere of life, having concluded that parenthood is the most enriching and elevating thing they can do. Very often they have sacrificed pleasures like sophisticated movies, restaurant dining and foreign travel, let alone competitive careers and disposable income, for the sake of their parental calling.

In a world that often makes it hard to raise large families, many are willing to move to find places that are congenial to natalist values. The fastest-growing regions of the country tend to have the highest concentrations of children. Young families move away from what they perceive as disorder, vulgarity and danger and move to places like Douglas County in Colorado (which is the fastest-growing county in the country and has one of the highest concentrations of kids). Some people see these exurbs as sprawling, materialistic wastelands, but many natalists see them as clean, orderly and affordable places where they can nurture children.

If you wanted a one-sentence explanation for the explosive growth of far-flung suburbs, it would be that when people get money, one of the first things they do is use it to try to protect their children from bad influences.

So there are significant fertility inequalities across regions. People on the Great Plains and in the Southwest are much more fertile than people in New England or on the Pacific coast.

You can see surprising political correlations. As Steve Sailer pointed out in The American Conservative, George Bush carried the 19 states with the highest white fertility rates, and 25 of the top 26. John Kerry won the 16 states with the lowest rates.

In The New Republic Online, Joel Kotkin and William Frey observe, “Democrats swept the largely childless cities - true blue locales like San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Boston and Manhattan have the lowest percentages of children in the nation - but generally had poor showings in those places where families are settling down, notably the Sun Belt cities, exurbs and outer suburbs of older metropolitan areas.”

Politicians will try to pander to this group. They should know this is a spiritual movement, not a political one. The people who are having big families are explicitly rejecting materialistic incentives and hyperindividualism. It costs a middle-class family upward of $200,000 to raise a child. These people are saying money and ambition will not be their gods.

Natalists resist the declining fertility trends not because of income, education or other socioeconomic characteristics. It’s attitudes. People with larger families tend to attend religious services more often, and tend to have more traditional gender roles.

I draw attention to natalists because they’re an important feature of our national life. Because of them, the U.S. stands out in all sorts of demographic and cultural categories. But I do it also because when we talk about the divide on values in this country, caricatured in the red and blue maps, it’s important that we understand the true motive forces behind it.

Natalists are associated with red America, but they’re not launching a jihad. The differences between them and people on the other side of the cultural or political divide are differences of degree, not kind. Like most Americans, but perhaps more anxiously, they try to shepherd their kids through supermarket checkouts lined with screaming Cosmo or Maxim cover lines. Like most Americans, but maybe more so, they suspect that we won’t solve our social problems or see improvements in our schools as long as many kids are growing up in barely functioning families.

Like most Americans, and maybe more so because they tend to marry earlier, they find themselves confronting the consequences of divorce. Like most Americans, they wonder how we can be tolerant of diverse lifestyles while still preserving the family institutions that are under threat.

What they cherish, like most Americans, is the self-sacrificial love shown by parents. People who have enough kids for a basketball team are too busy to fight a culture war.

E-mail: dabrooks@nytimes.com

since my brother jonand his wife emily didn’t make it up for thanksgiving, i’m going to visit them in asheville this weekend. of course, in the course of 48 hours, we are trying to fit in dinner with a group, an andrew peterson concert, an arts studio tour near Asheville, which my mom’s cousin’s husband is a part of, an auction, church, and hang out time.

should be fun, if exhausting. methinks my drive back from the airport on Sunday evening will not be so fun. that’s what i get for saving money by flying out of DC!

when i go visit my other brother in florida next month, i plan to 1. fly from philly, 2. stay longer, and 3, go fishing.

i’m at home visiting the family this weekend, so here’s a pic of the new little guy, pierson jesse.

his hair is reddish blonde–he’s absolutely adorable.
so they don’t feel left out, here are his siblings:

and here’s one of gracie, who is adjusting well to her new little brother. she calls him “baby guy” although i suggested “p. jesse” and she seems to have caught onto that pretty well!

My sister Hannah had her fifth child last night at 8:32pm. So this is an official welcome for Pierson Jesse, who weighed in at 8 lbs, 5 ounces and measured 20.5 inches. His parents and his siblings, Exley, Briannah, Mason, and Grace are pretty excited about the new arrival! I’m looking forward to seeing him on Saturday.

my cousin lara called me yesterday to say she would be breezing through town tomorrow. her parents are the aunt and uncle who are travelling around the country, so she no longer has a home base here in the area when she visits. we thought we’d miss each other this morning, with her flight getting in and my leaving for work, so she was just going to shower and nap at my place before heading out. but her plane got in early and she got there just as i was getting up, so we got to hang out for just a wee bit and catch up a little. she lives in Cali. so our visits are few and far between. i’m determined to get out there to visit her this year though.

it was a lovely way to start the day!

i promise i’ll write more about my trip as the days pass. it’s hard to put the trip into words–but i thinki’m just using that as an excuse right now.

i got to spend time this weekend with my mom and my aunt and uncle. since my aunt and uncle are moving out of their huge old house into a very large, but still much smaller than the house, RV, they were having a big yard sale. i think what they’re doing is so cool–travelling around the country, seeing all there is to see, taking their time exploring. they’ve spent the past five or six years planning to do this and it’s finally happening for them in three weeks. and, i’m hoping to fly out somewhere in the west to visit them next year. wyoming, perhaps? utah? so many options. (it’s all about me, of course).

because i’m the relative that lives the closest and has a house, i am the beneficiary of much of their generosity. they brought me back to the city on saturday evening with a pickup truck and a car full of stuff. some things that were my great-grandparents, which somehow feel right at home in my place. some things i’m just babysitting until they return, or until lara moves back east or decides she wants them. i’m thoroughly enjoying them right now though!

almost a year ago, i redesigned my bedroom. it had awful mauve wallpaper, terrible grey carpet, and was just ugly. i took down the wallpaper, ripped up the carpet (to find lovely hardwood floors beneath), and repainted and finished the walls with a faux fresco look. so my room is really a sunny, orangey color. at that point in the redecorating process, however, i ran out of steam. i did buy black frames with white mats and hung them around the room, but have been planning for over a year to get some great black and white photos to put in the frames. i am finally on my way to accomplishing this! i took some old pictures from my mom’s side of the family, scanned them in, and am having prints of various sizes made.

here’s one of my grandmother and her sisters that i love:

and here’s one of my great-great grandfather, logging for the railroads in british columbia in the 1890’s: