Filed under: Obama
I’ve learned an important lesson while following the Democratic presidential nomination race. Apparently, you can say anything you want about a candidate as long as you follow it up the next day with an apology. Why didn’t I think of this strategy earlier in life?! I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities to gain an advantage on others by spreading vicious lies about them!
Professor: “Dave, it seems you didn’t put a lot of effort into this paper… almost like you did it an hour before class…”
Me: “I heard you stuff apples with poisoned razor blades and hand them out to sick kids at the hospital.”
Then, of course, I would send a follow-up e-mail directly to the professor the next day with a pseudo-apology that somehow still supports my claim.
Or even better…
Cop: “Sir, it seems you were going about 20 miles per hour over the posted speed limit of 30 in that school zone you just blew through.”
Me: “Officer, I heard you sold your own children to pay for your wife’s implants.”
Seriously though, isn’t this strategy of the Clinton campaign just becoming a bit old? Let’s see what has been brought up by Hillary and her supporters in the past couple of weeks, only to see an “apology” surface 24 hours later…
-Obama is still doing drugs;
-Obama’s ambition to become president started in kindergarten, which obviously means he’s unqualified (I mean, really? Does that work for all childhood ambitions? “Sorry John Glenn, we heard you once told your grammar school teacher you wanted to be an astronaut. We’re scrubbing your mission.”);
-Obama doesn’t have the experience to lead (apparently 6 years of elected public service is greater than 10? I should probably check my math skills.);
-And of course today, when a former senator who has endorsed Hillary has now apologized for pulling the Muslim card. Nevermind the Clinton staff members that forwarded e-mails claiming Obama is a Muslim who wants to bring jihad to the US. Fantastic, huh?
Oh, by the way, I heard you once robbed a Meals on Wheels truck and set it on fire in front of group of starving orphans.
Don’t worry – expect your apology in and e-mail tomorrow.