Dear President-Elect Obama,
First of all, SWEET PARTY in Grant Park the other night. It was amazing. I kept telling my friends – there’s no way this guy can pull off this shindig. You proved me wrong, sir. The pizza was so-so and hella expensive, but it’s cool. I was hoping for an open bar or at least a keg, but hey, you did your best. Maybe in 2012, right?
Now, the reason I’m writing. I’m pretty excited about your presidency overall, but there’s a few things I’m hoping you can address in late January/early February. I’m writing to you now because you probably need to get a head-start. I’ve always heard that money helps grease the wheels, so I’m not afraid to bring up the multiple donations I sent your way over the course of the primary and presidential races.
So, without further ado, here’s what I’m thinking should probably be addressed:
- 7-11 Slurpee Machines. It seems like almost every time I go to 7-11, my Slurpee flavor of choice is blinking red and all liquid. What’s up with that? Why can’t 7-11 have my Slurpee flavor ready to go?
- The Browns defense. Did you see that last night? It looked like the Bush post-invasion plan for Iraq. Can we get a few guys with skill in the secondary and maybe one guy on the line that can put some pressure on the QB?
- Chicago Transit Authority. I don’t even know where to begin. Is there a restart button?
- Video game costs in bars and bowling alleys. Have you tried to play Buck Hunter or Golden Tee lately? Ridiculous. You have to give up a drink just to play 18 holes.
- Spamalot tickets. Could you make a phone call?
- The 3oz liquid rule at airports. Actually, I hear that’s changing soon. Never mind.
- The DH rule. Can you just abolish it?
- Windows Vista. My wife has it on her laptop and it randomly deletes hardware drivers. Talk about a PITA.
- Can you have Bill Gates come to our house and fix it?
- My friend Jodi is a teacher and her principal sucks. Can you call Arne? I’m happy to sit on the committee to find a replacement.
- Augusta National Golf Club. Think you can hook me up with a tee time?
- Finally, I’ve got two words for you: political appointee. I don’t care where, I’ll serve wherever you want.
Hope these next couple of months go well. Let me know if you need help finding a puppy for the girls.
2 Comments so far
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>