Work is crazy busy and Sarah and I are spending pretty much every possible second traveling and planning this shindig. Looks like it will probably be in late September or October. Everybody keeps saying that seems quick, but it seems about right to me. Plus, an outdoor fall wedding will be awesome… especially if our latest idea pans out. When I talk to my married friends and say we’ll probably have a 6 month engagement, they all seem to think it’s plenty of time and a really good plan. More details to come…

In the meantime, check this out. It is consistently one of the most expensive gas stations in the city, but still, this is getting crazy. I was telling folks in Ohio over the weekend that we hit this price in Chicago and some didn’t believe it. I’d expect to see most stations at this price in about a week or two. It’s about time to sell a kidney… possibly a lung.

Getting out of the city for a long weekend is always a welcome treat, especially after the winter we just had. I don’t know if I can remember a winter that has lasted so long or has been so consistently cold and I’d prefer it if the city could make sure it doesn’t happen again. I figure I’m paying enough in taxes and parking tickets, the least the city could do is give me a few days above the 30 degree mark.

Anyway, it was pretty great spending the weekend with Sarah and some great friends in West Virginia. Watching my friend Corey get married was something I never expected in my lifetime, but leave it to him to defy my expectations. It was a great morning ceremony with a brunch reception, and honestly, does it get better than pancakes at a wedding reception?

I think not.

Coming back to the city was a dose of reality. The warm weather brought with it a wave of gun violence. Already this year too many Chicago Public School students have been gunned down - some targeted, some random. Growing up in southeast Ohio, gun violence is a rarity and when it does happen, the entire region is in shock. Here in Chicago, you quickly become desensitized to it until numbers start popping up in the paper like, “24 CPS students killed so far this year,” or, “36 shootings, 9 killed.” By then the weight of the situation is overwhelming.

The answer, I fear, is much more complicated than the gun legislation being called for by the mayor. The guns being used to commit these acts are not legal in Chicago, but regardless, the question needs to be asked - why are folks seeking these guns out to commit these acts? What is it the convinces kids in our schools that academic success is not a viable option?

Since joining the staff and collective effort of Teach For America, I’ve heard some very valid weaknesses of our two-year program that brings talented college graduates into our nation’s most under-resourced classrooms. I can understand the worry among traditional career teachers, but I have to ask - what else are they doing? Are they moving into a severely under-resourced district with a tradition of weak student test scores and applying for a job? If they are taking those steps, are they walking into their classrooms expecting their students to perform as high, if not higher, than their suburban counterparts?

That’s what our corps members are doing. They walk into classrooms full of students with low test scores with a sense of possibility and the energy needed to walk in step with their students. It’s what I see in my friends that teach here in the city, and principals and superintendents need to have the power to weed out the teachers that fall short.

Education is certainly not the only key to turning around this resurgence in violence, but it surely is a good start. We have to start fighting the overwhelming helplessness and cynicism that pollutes our conversations and efforts to turn the tide. Now if we could just find more leaders in our districts and schools that are willing to demand every decision be made with the best interest of students in mind… now that would be revolutionary.

So, when people say to you, “oh, don’t worry about that parking ticket… you have out-of-state plates so you’re fine,” what should your reply be?

- a) Hey!  Great point!  I’ll park wherever I want!
- b) Hmm… are you sure?  Is that some type of weird law in Chicago?
- c) Shut the freak up.  I screwed up, now I’m paying my ticket so the city doesn’t get ticked off a boot my car.

A couple of months ago, I would have probably started out at B, but soon landed on A.  It would save me money that I could spend on important things (like coffee and beer) and everybody knows what a pain it can be to park in this city.  I mean, it’s not like I’m parking in front of a hydrant or in a bus stop… just in a residential zones that get checked randomly.

Well, that’s before the city of Chicago came to the realization that this car with Ohio plates happened to accumulate a couple (or 6 or 7) tickets over the past three years.

Now, you have to understand, the city of Chicago is a greedy whore.  Apparently it is necessary to pay for our mayor to travel all over the world to scope out cities planning for the Olympics.  It’s also apparently necessary to pay the court clerk $125,000 a year and provide a “business analyst” that happens to drive her around.  I really would love to sit down with her and give her the overused line from Office Space, “So what is it exactly… that you say… you do here?”

So anyway, back to Chicago, the greedy whore.  Well, if Chicago sees a way to put a few bejamins in the bank account, there is no way the city is going to miss it.  So, if a well-meaning guy from Ohio happens to let a few tickets slip to the land of forgetfulness, Chicago likes to remind that guy that it never forgets a dolla.

So, Chicago came looking for its money.  I’m not exactly sure how much I owe, but it is definitely more than I wanted to spend at one time.  It’s my fault.  I was stupid.  I should have paid the tickets when they came through, but it just didn’t happen.  I’ll make a quick list of excuses…

- I was just getting on my feet and too poor
- They wouldn’t let me pay in “services rendered”
- They also wouldn’t take Schrute Bucks (or Stanley Nickels)
- I was morally opposed to the outrageous parking fines
- 2006 was the year I made a resolution not to pay parking tickets
- I forgot

The city decided today was the day to remind me that I owed money.  So now I feel kind of dumb… and irresponsible.  I’m not a big fan of letting crap like this happen, but I’ll live.

Maybe it is the inspiration I need to get back into the habit of using public transportation.

Regardless, the moral of the story is to give the city of Chicago all of your money.  You, in return, will get access to lots of parks filled with rude employees and roads with potholes that eat Vespas.

This message has been brought to you by the Chicago Tourism Commission.  If you’d like to help me support Chicago in its efforts to make loads of dough, please donate here (this isn’t a joke… this is really a lame solicitation).

A little over a week ago, Sarah and I took another step towards adulthood. No longer satiated by the typical grocery store, we signed up for memberships at Costco.

Yeah, we’re that awesome.

Our friends Jud and Biz introduced us to the awesomeness of Costco. They took us a few times to help us find our way around the place, so when Sarah and I joined it was like we met up with an old friend. We had the basic layout down, but there was so much more to experience.

Up and down each row, we gazed upon giant boxes of microwave popcorn and shampoo sold by the gallon. We greeted each turn with a sense of purpose, visually recording the locations of various goods we would be searching for on later trips. Sarah got lost in the produce area, while I drooled over the wide selection of meats and beer. If there is a better representation of our relationship out there, I would be completely surprised.

I think a lot of Costco’s appeal goes into how they treat their employees and their customers. Employees get health benefits and are paid much higher than their warehouse rival, Sam’s Club. Unions are allowed and Costco even contributes to their employees’ 401(k) plans. They guarantee that nothing is marked up more than 15%, which is always a bargain when compared to the typical 25% mark up you see in most grocery stores.

Plus, they give out awesome free samples.

I think Costco is going to be our regular hangout from now on. When we can’t decide on what to do on a Friday night, it’s going to be a little Costco browsing and a slice of pizza from their in-store restaurant. Who says romance is dead?

I’m even coming up with Costco scavenger hunts we can play with our friends (only those with memberships of course… we can’t just let anybody in). My current favorite is going to be called, “Name That Wound.” We’ll play it on Saturdays when the best free samples are being brought out. Basically, the goal is to be as aggressive as possible at each sample station. When we get back together as a group, we’ll compare battle wounds and try to guess the improvised weapon that was used and the free sample the person was going after (ie: “Wow - nice black eye… it looks perfectly round, so I’m going to guess a large can of peaches while going for the last pizza roll sample”).

Or, maybe we’ll just shop for basic essentials. Who knows?! The possibilities are endless!

Well, Super-Amazing-Fantastic-Tsunami-Fat-Duper-Tuesday is finally here. It’s such a weird feeling to know that at the end of the day, the race for party nominations will be a lot closer to a final decision. I don’t think it’s hard to guess which candidate earned my vote this morning. Much to my surprise, my polling location was a half of a block away and had no lines this morning as I was given a marker, a long sheet of paper, and instructions to basically play a matching game. I am officially a Chicago voter.

A cold and knee-deep snow gave me a reason to work from home on Friday and Monday, allowing me to take in all of the beauty that is the 24-hour news cycle. For the most part, I was treated to a loop of sound bites and in-depth analysis of what each candidate had for breakfast that morning. I’ve heard that the primary and general presidential election have become nothing more than a beauty or popularity contest, and if you pay attention to what these pundits have to say, you’re probably right. There’s no coverage of their actual positions or proposals, but instead we get to hear crap that doesn’t matter but somehow has been classified as news.

Somewhere in the garbage that’s fed to us, someone can actually dig a little and find real news and important coverage of the ideas and strategies that each candidate is talking about. The thing is, I am still waiting for a Hillary Clinton supporter to show any sign of understanding what her proposals are. I’m just left dumbfounded. I hear a lot of criticism thrown at Obama about how great his speeches are, but how little substance there is in the form of actual policy and proposals. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading his books and campaign literature and listening to his speeches for the past year, but I just don’t see how anyone that has invested time into researching the candidates could say that.

But maybe that’s the problem.

I have a lot of hope for today’s results. Across the country, my age demographic is finally starting to pay attention and follow through by heading to the polls. There is a deep desire to have a president that inspires and leads in a positive way for the greater good, not a shill of war-mongering corporations.

I feel like there’s something better that we should be striving for, and to me, there’s only one candidate that can lead us in that direction.

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Well folks, here it is. The introspective, reflective, cliché sap-fest of a list of lessons learned over the past year. It might be interesting to look at previous versions of this list to see if I’m still learning the same lessons over multiple years, but that would most likely be slightly depressing. That being said, I’ll pretend this is the first such list and deny any part in the creation of previous similar writings.

A serious relationship with a great girl who luckily doesn’t take me too seriously, my brother officially graduating from my alma mater, and a complete change in careers after almost two years at DePaul were probably the big three developments of 2007. While my brother’s graduation was expected, the other two were surprises to even me. Who knew a friendly dinner with a girl could turn into… well… something much bigger? I know she reads this blog and is going to tell me I’m a sappy nerd after reading this, but she’ll get over it. I’ve never been the quickest when it comes to reading signs of interest from the opposite sex, which I suppose could explain my struggles in sending appropriate signs as well. Sarah was no different. Our stories differ quite a bit, but suffice it to say, somewhere around early February I had a couple dates with the girl and realized she was interesting and laughed at my jokes. I was hooked.

Somewhere in the first half of 2007, I realized that my personal life wasn’t the only part of me that needed to stretch and grow. A conversation with the VP of my department at DePaul, where I was basically told the main reason I accepted the job and moved to Chicago was not really something he considered part of the long-term plan, had me casually glancing at the idealist.org job list. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up in an interview process and accepting an offer to head back into the non-profit world. The first few months had me questioning my decision to leave the friendly confines of a role I understood to find myself overwhelmed and underqualified. Somehow things have worked out and the moments of feeling overwhelmed come less frequently, but I can say that the move was a smart one. I do miss my admissions family and the always-entertaining conversations with high schoolers, but there’s a lot of growth and potential that are keeping me on track in my current role.

As for my brother, well, it’s pretty cool to watch a younger sibling walk across the same stage I did four years earlier. There were a few new faces, but it was great to catch up with faculty and staff and feel confident that my brother’s education was in good hands. I still didn’t know the words to the alma mater, but to see the whole day in a new light and spend it with my family was a welcome trip back to the Hill. Now in his first year of teaching, it’s going to be great watching him develop and adjust to adulthood.

Other lessons from 2007:

• If Jud tells me something is potent… say, his egg nog… I will listen to the guy and cap myself somewhere around the 2-3 cups range;
• Also - if Jud is bbqing, I’m there;
• One more about Jud - the guy is a safe bet when crazy things happen, like car windows falling into the door frame;
• Managing a rec league team takes up way too much time and causes a lot of stress;
• Adjusting plans to see Over the Rhine’s Christmas concert is always a good idea;
• Speaking of concerts - when your favorite band is doing a farewell tour, it’s OK to put out of a few extra bucks to see them from decent seats… even if they appear emotionally drained;
• One more about concerts - taking the chance that Ryan Adams is going to have a good show is worth it;
• Driving a couple of hours out of my way to play golf with my dad and brother is never a bad idea;
• Never turn down a free ticket to a baseball game;
• When a car starts making any noises that aren’t normal, get it looked at sooner rather than later;
• Always appreciate someone who buys Bell’s for you;
• Michigan has a few redeeming qualities;
• People come and go, so make sure to enjoy having them around while you can;
• Bickering and complaining doesn’t accomplish much;
• My church family is full of surprises and apparently knows how to put on a good potluck;
• Watching so many friends take on adulthood is… kind of cool… and makes me think I might have a shot… someday;
• <sap alert> Roadtrips are a lot cooler with a girl who falls asleep on your shoulder</sap alert>;
• If you have the chance to take a long weekend and get out of the city, do it;
• Leaving the city reminds you how much you miss stars;
• The American Girl store is a creepy, creepy place;
• When friends are in Chicago, make time for them;
• Always appreciate people who contribute greatly to your life and make sure they know it while you can;
• and… some people in Chicago take kickball way too seriously.

That’s it for 2007… I’m guessing 2008 will have some pretty great highlights. Here’s hoping I can remember some of these lessons over the next year.

For the past 3 months or so, I’ve been playing rec league 12″ slow pitch softball three days a week (weather permitting). Two weekday evening leagues and a Saturday morning league to be precise. Chicago rec league softball is an interesting phenomenon… enough so that I don’t think I could do it justice with a small blog post. I will, however, try to build a snapshot of the type of players I’ve come across during this time. In other words, I’m going to make a lame attempt at humor by exaggerating the faults and idiosyncrasies of others. Good times.

First off…

The Roid-Raging 120% 24/7 Guy

When it comes down to it, almost every team has one of these guys. Somehow he missed the memo that this is REC LEAGUE SOFTBALL. He plays with the intensity of a kamikaze pilot and usually has the skill of a 4th grade little leaguer. You wouldn’t know it by the way he throws his bat after a strike out or grunts as he stretches to make the catch at 1st base (they almost always play 1st base). Typical uniform includes multiple sweat bands, a brace somewhere due to a high school football (or marching band) injury, and a well-worn baseball hat. Batting gloves? Only the top of the line pair that could be found at Target. Softball bat? At least one with a sticker price over $100 that he uses regardless of how well he hits with it. I have yet to see a player like this on either of my weekday teams, which makes me worry that I may be the leading candidate.

The Loud Mouth

No, they’re probably not playing the game… and no, they have no real knowledge of effective strategies or rules in slow pitch softball. Yes, they do have a lung capacity and a voice that will be heard, regardless of relevancy to the game itself. Bang-bang play at 1st base? Oh you know you’ll hear this voice being supportive if the call goes their way (”GOOD HUSTLE! LOUD NOISES!!”), or worse yet, even louder if it favors the other team (”I WILL SLASH YOUR TIRES AND KICK YOUR FACE IN, BLUE!”). Most of their teammates will shake their heads, but suck it up and accept this player on their team. They still represent a share of the team fee and probably won’t demand a share of playing time. Usually they also bring the beer.

The Player So Good He Makes You Feel Like Less of a Man

This is the player you hope and pray is coming up to bat when a game is close and there are runners on base. You know they are good for a big hit 4 out of every 5 at-bats and will most likely catch other teammates on the base path. You can identify this person the 2nd time they are up to bat if the opposing team’s outfielders move backwards 25 feet and hope the ball doesn’t get hit in their direction. Every successful team needs one of these players, and championship teams usually have 2 or 3. There should probably be a cap on players like this, thereby giving equal access to all teams. You can sometimes pick up a player like this by trading 2 wheats, 2 woods, and 3 bricks (sorry, nerd reference).

I’ll try to think of more later… maybe I’ll take notes during fall softball.

So apparently there’s this amazing aquarium here in the city that draws visitors from across the world to our tiny little village. People brings packs of children in 4-seat strollers to marvel at huge tanks of fish and caged penguins, all while getting pillaged by a non-profit charging almost $30 to enter and another $2 for a bottle of water. The place is filled with about a billion gallons of water, and they charge $2 for room temperature tap water in a plastic bottle? Quirky, huh?

Anyway, the visit begins with a long line that heads into a giant inflatable Komodo Dragon that smells just like what you would imagine the inside of a Komodo Dragon would smell like. Purposeful move by Shedd to make it more realistic, or result of a thousand people inside a giant, rubber inflatable on a 95 degree day with 95% humidity?

The line is cramped and people are grumpy because they are in a line and the line happens to be underneath a giant, smelly Komodo Dragon, and pretty soon your start hearing exasperated sighs and entitled suburbanites complaining about how they shouldn’t have to stand in line. Kids are jumping on the inflatable underneath a sign that says, “Please Do Not Jump on the Dragon” and parents are too busy complaining about the heat to care that their kids might pop the thing, leading to mass hysteria and a couple hundred injuries. All the while, those 4-seat strollers and their contents are being pushed to a secret “stroller-only” entrance, making me wonder why anyone would ever come to the Shedd without a stroller.

Once you finally make it into the Shedd, an entire world of salt and fresh water creatures awaits you… right after you pass the aquarium store and popcorn stand. But, once you pass the overpriced vendors, you find hundreds of species of creatures from the deep. Sadly, no Sarcastic Fringehead to be found. I mean, what kind of aquarium exists that doesn’t have a Sarcastic Fringehead? They would probably bring one out if you paid them, like, $15 dollars.

Now, while this may seem like a negative review of one of Chicago’s most important landmarks, it should be noted that there are some bright spots. For instance, watching the young beluga pup Bella swim with her family was pretty cool and heartwarming. If there was ever a “Saved By the Bell” audience “awww” moment, that was it. The penguins exhibit, featuring a constant squeegee attendant, was fun to watch simply because penguins pooping is one of the funniest sights in nature. I mean, their projectile defecation was not only humorous, but awe-inspiring.

There was, of course, a dolphin show complete with back flips and the like. I haven’t looked at dolphins the same since The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. What if dolphins really are from another planet and plan on leaving before we all get blown up to make room for an inter-galactic expressway? Also, Sarah saw a dolphin’s penis in an exhibit about how the staff cares for the dolphins. Fun times were had by all.

• Time spent waiting for the dolphin show - 45 minutes.
• Dolphin show, complete with introduction from friendly staff member asking people to not sit on the stairs and to scoot closer - 20 minutes.
• Number of times the guy next to me scooted closer to me - an uncomfortable amount.

In the end, I did end up getting to spend time with my girlfriend and her mom. I also snacked on some Swedish Fish and somehow ended up with a bag of free Garrett’s Popcorn.

That’s what we in Chicago refer to as a “jackpot.”

After months of painstaking research, I have finally proven my hypothesis that the overwhelming majority of cyclists in Chicago are indeed smug, self-righteous, Lance Armstrong wannabes that give no heed to traffic laws. In fact, when approaching a four-way stop, this population, mostly made up of Old Town and Lincoln Park residents, believes that motorists should completely give way to their $8000 piece of aerodynamic metal designed for traveling through the Alps.

Now, this does fly in the face of my belief that most cyclists are good people who are looking for a cheap, healthy form of daily transportation, which I still hypothesize is the case outside of the Windy City. In fact, I happily endorse the two-wheeled-wonder and encourage all to regularly hop on their pedal-hog when possible. The problem comes when the type of rider most commonly found in northside neighborhoods of Chicago is added to the seemingly harmless bicycle. Like mixing ammonia and bleach, a toxic gas is created, suffocating and annoying any within earshot.

Diagram 1.1

While more research needs to be done on this ground-breaking development, I think the evidence is clear that entitled cyclists in Chicago should probably be tranquilized and shipped to Gary.

Work has been crazy busy the past couple of weeks, so blog posting has taken a back seat to data analyzing and conversations with big words. The level of organization speak here is mind boggling. It takes me a few seconds to break down a phrase or term, and by the time I mentally rejoin the conversation, I’m a little late. Thankfully there are slower days with somewhat mindless tasks that I can take care of while letting my brain recuperate and prepare for the next big project.

The brief hiatus of brain strain also allows my thoughts to wander. As such, here’s a quick snapshot into what’s bouncing around…

The Chicago Polish Consulate moved into my office building and now there are people with Polish accents everywhere. Sometimes they speak to me in Polish with a very confused and lost tone to their voice. I feel bad and point them toward the consulate office, but who knows what they’re really looking for? Maybe they just want to know where the bathroom is? Maybe I should learn Polish. I had a really good grilled Polish sausage the other day. It had spicy brown mustard on it. Spicy brown mustard is my second favorite mustard after Cleveland Stadium Mustard. I’m going to be in Cleveland in August for Rachel’s wedding! Sarah is coming with me too! I wonder if we should drive or fly. My Jeep has a lot of miles and eats a lot of gas and has no air conditioning. I need to get the AC fixed. I need money to do that.

My office hallway smells like fried chicken right now. My grandma used to make really good fried chicken. I miss my grandma. She turned 80 on June 4th. I wonder if I will make it to 80… probably not if I keep eating fried chicken.

Sarah is a great girl and I’m lucky she puts up with me. I know a lot of people named Sarah. I guess the odds were in my favor that one of them would work out. Sarah is one of the few products of that waste of space state up north that seems to be somewhat tolerable. Bell’s is another. The rest of the list could fit on a small post-it. Chicago’s beer distributing dictatorship no longer distributes Bell’s in Chicago so I have to depend on Sarah’s mom to bring me Bell’s when she visits. Sarah’s mom and dad are on the list.

I still really want a dog.

Honestly, how did it take a company this long to tap into this product name potential? It’s really good stuff, and this is from a guy that doesn’t really like tea that much.

There’s a huge crane on a job site near my office. I’m guessing it’s probably about 15 stories high. After seeing recent news stories about cranes collapsing and wrecking balls careening down city streets, I’m a bit nervous. I think it’s being used to build a parking ramp. A parking ramp, really? That would be boring. Probably not cheap, either. Jerks.

That’s about it right now. Stay tuned for more random, useless, lame excuses for blog posts.